#fat link

There was a crowd surrounding the stage. A table with three chairs pushed underneath. Each chair was wide and had a hard plastic seat that was supported by four heavy duty metal legs. Typical chairs seen at various restaurants throughout the city of Cornucopia. Everyone was waiting for the grand event: a spicy wings eating competition. Eat as many spicy wings before resorting to a glass of milk. Many tend to tap out around their third or fourth wing. The hot sauce used has small red peppers from the wilds of Hyrule.

One of three competitors was pumped for such a competition: Link. Hero of the Wild and champion from Hyrule. A Hylian that has the height of five feet, six inches and a weight of 325 pounds. A hefty hero caused by his own cooking and over eating. Link was a glutton and proud to be one. Always eating something new. Always cooking large quantities of food for him to consume. Link was backstage, in the restaurant, waiting for the event organizer to bring them out.

“Goddess yes!” Link spoke in a deep Scottish accent. “All you can eat spicy wings? I’ll out eat everyone.”

Link wore a white shirt that had the words “Hylian’s Hog” in the middle in dark, black capitalized lettering. Below the waist, he wore beige cargo shorts and black Converse shoes. All fitted to his size. The shirt was a descriptor of who he was. A proud hog he is. But, because the shirt was white, Link didn’t want to stain it. He made sure to stuff a blue bib in his pocket. It was emblazoned with the champion symbol that he represents back in Hyrule.

Link looked at the other competitors. One guy was a few inches taller than him but about twenty pounds lighter. This guy had a beard that came several inches low. Hair that was borderline medium shaggy. There was a look of a new guy to him; nervous and fidgeting.

“That guy doesn’t know what he’s getting into. I feel pity for him.” Link commented.

Link’s gaze went to his other competitor. He recognized him from his other eating competitions. This other competitor was taller than him and the new guy. About four inches taller than Link. His weight was roughly 15 pounds heavier than Link’s own. He wore a red tank top and dark blue athletic shorts. His face was clean shaved. His hair was short and neat. Link knew that this competitor wasn’t a push over. He lost countless times in close competitions.

“Aye, I see that he’s here.” Link spoke respectfully. “This shall be a proper match.” Link smirked.

Link always surveys his competitors. Well, the ones he can find nearest him. He was involved in a few larger competitions that hosted as many twenty eaters. Thankfully, this only had three competitors. It is a spicy wings competition. Not many would brave themselves to even attempt such a feat. Many would shiver at the idea of eating so much spicy chicken.

“Let us see how many hot wings these guys can muster.” Link had an aura of confidence to him.

From the outside, Link could hear the chatter of excitement. He didn’t know what was being said and who they were rooting for. He hoped it was for him. Oftentimes, he found himself as the fan favorite. After every competition, a line would form at the table. Link would take the time to sign autographs and take photographs with many of his fans. He was a local celebrity within this sport. Link expected this to be the case again.

It wasn’t yet time to exit outside. There was about ten minutes before the event started. Link’s stomach grumbled in anticipation. He was always hungry before every food competition. He usually skips lunch. Sometimes breakfast. Depending on what the competition is. For this competition, he skipped lunch. The chicken wings were more than enough to fill his belly.

Link looked at the newcomer, he pondered loudly to where his words could only be heard by him, “I hope he didn’t eat anything before eating.”

As time progressed, Link kept his nerves at bay. Compared to the new guy, the new guy was twiddling his thumbs and tapping his right foot. His eyes darted around the room nervously.

“He’ll tap out first no doubt.” Link assumed based off of what he knew from past competitions.

Several more minutes elapsed. Ticking slowly for everyone. Then, the front door swung open. A tall man nearly 400 pounds addressed himself to the room. He wore a dark blue long sleeved button down shirt tucked into khaki pants. Dress shoes were worn on his feet. His body was spilling with exuberance that felt infectious. This was the owner of the restaurant and the host of the event.

“You guys ready?” He asked. His voice was a baritone.

Link raised his hand, “I’m ready.”

The other two would nod yes.

“Let me introduce everyone.” The owner would step back out. Introducing the competition and the competitors. Link could hear: “Welcome one and all to the hottest challenge in all of Cornucopia! My hot Hylian wings taps out the best of my competitors. But three competitors have chosen to brave the heat. Come on out guys!”

Link would lead the trio outside. He saw signs that said “We love Link” and “Eat Link eat”. This was more than enough encouragement for Link. Not that he needed extra encouragement but the sentiment did help. Link sat himself in the middle seat. It fit his ass perfectly. The other two would sit on either side of Link. The worthy challenger to Link’s left and the new guy on his right. The owner stood right in front of the table. In his hand was a wireless microphone.

“I’m sure you three are hungry.” The owner turned his head and body towards them. “I’ll save my words and say this: Bring out the wings!”

Upon the order, three large, warm bowls of Hylian chicken wings were brought out. They were coated in a dark, red sauce. Steam filtered off of them and towards the sky. Only Link truly knew the heat of the peppers that made up the sauce. He used them in the past for his own cooking.

“You three ready? Remember, at any point you take a sip of milk, you’re out.” The owner asked the competitors. The three understood the terms of the competition. A grin on his face. “Go!”

The competition was afoot. The new guy struggled after the first wing. By the middle of the second wing, he tapped out by taking a quick swig of milk. Link was one to one with the one he had faced off plenty of times before. Three, four, five wings. Neither of them relented. Sweat dripped off their foreheads as they stayed focused. Eventually, Link’s equal tapped out by his sixth wing. Taking a long, cold chug of milk. Link remained despite being the decisive winner. Link ended up eating eight chicken wings. Taking a victory drink of milk by chugging the entire cup down into his mouth.

“We have our winner!” The owner excitedly exclaimed. “Our winner is Link!”

The crowd cheered as they shouted Link’s name, “Link! Link! Link!”

Link was proud of this win. Proud that he had another win in his widening belt.

Heroic thighs

Do you think this Link is thicc enough to face Ganondorf? Maybe he could go a bit bigger~