Chemo day 16
Infusion #2 went ok. Lots of liquids bring pushed into my body, I wouldn't be surprised if I was 10 pounds heavier when I left the clinic. I felt just plain uncomfortable this time at the end. No allergic reaction to the 2nd chemo drug this time (the nurse infused it slower thru the I.V. and I took extra meds in the 2 days prior to pre-emptively head things off), and my oncologist made a change to the steroid, so those were both a step in the right direction. Yet I am uncomfortable, just the same. I did feel some tingling at the lymph node site in my neck at night which the oncologist said would be a good sign that many patients have, yea me!
But on to what really matters right now.
Babe...I do love that movie. As I sit/lay here with a cool washcloth on my head because this chemo is making me very warm, I was thinking more about songs I love.
I remembered the movie Babe, and that when my oldest daughter was young I actually stenciled a song from the movie onto the walls of her bedroom. The farmer (I believe) originally sings it at the point in the movie when Babe is sick, but the words just made me fall in love with it. And there were 4 phrases and 4 walls in her room so it was a perfect fit!
If I had words to make a day for you
I'd sing you a morning golden and new
I would make this day last for all time
Give you a night deep in moonshine
The farmer sings it to Babe to give him some hope to cling to, to recover, to let Babe know how much he really loves that little piggy. It is touching and moving. So moving (to me) I stenciled it on my daughter's wall. Now, to clarify, when I say stenciled it I mean I ordered the words from a company and I just transfered them (like an iron-on patch) onto her wall, I didn't spend hours drawing, tracing, outlining, and painting like a master calligrapher, but it was worth every cent I paid that company to have it in the perfect script I wanted.
But now here I am with time on my hands and too much time isn't always a good thing. With all this time, I have a startling new take on the words. And it all starts, ironically, with the final word (or two if you choose to split it up). What? What is this saying? Moonshine like alcohol? That's what he'd give the pig? I think that's deadly right? But wait, earlier he just said he would make the day last for all time, so wouldn't there be no night? And if there isn't a night does that mean that the farmer wanted to get Babe so drunk that he'd pass out? Maybe a neverending day would be exhausting to little Babe, and he would need some rest, but is moonshine the answer Mr. Farmer???
And I stenciled this on my young daughter's wall, it was there FOR YEARS. What kind of mom am I? Hey honey I love you so much I'd give you this awesome day that lasts forever, play til your hearts content, and when I see you're tired I'll give you a sippy cup with 'special juice' which will help the situation? Was the farmer trying to get Babe drunk for some reason? Was Babe drunk when he won the herding trophy? Is that subconsciously what I was saying to my daughter? I'll get you drunk, you'll win & everything will be great?
Like I said in a earlier post, I believe in signs. And, I believe this may be a sign of chemo brain coming out loud and clear. Or perhaps it's just a sign that mama needs some moonshine.
Which bring me to another appropriate song..."Too Much Time on My Hands"...
