I really do not like how ppl romanticise that if Eric got into a relationship with a girl, that girl wouldâve been the ultimate âsaviourâ. Like no, he was severely mentally ill, he needed mental help, a psychologist?? With susan, i feel bad she beats herself up for not âknowingâ or âhelpingâ Eric, she was essentially a child that was navigating her own trauma, it shouldnât be on a girls shoulder to âsolve the problemâ, her letter is kind but I just feel itâs extremely overcharged with many emotions for someone she barely knew. I wonder how she would feel in todayâs society if it were one of her own that passed. Bec I highly doubt she would have the same reaction since people mature, grow older etc.
this is a perspective i wholeheartedly agree with. no one can ever "save" another person from their own mental state. it is always ultimately up to that person and that person alone whether or not they want to seek help and/or accept it. the "you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped" thing is real.
do i believe having a gf would have help eric's mental state? yes, but only a little, and only if he had one years earlier. when he began asking girls out more frequently in those last few weeks of his life, he had already surpassed a point where whatever kind of help he may have received wouldn't be capable of changing his mind. it was already made up by then and i don't think anything could have changed it.
with sue's letter, i think she was one of the many people who got too caught up in the idea of the person they envisioned/hoped for eric to be that when he did what he did, their first thought was likely: oh no, i should have been able to help him. it's a valid feeling and one i myself understand after losing a friend. even though i had no control over their death, i still blame myself for it. i think sue was just dealing with so much at that time that it all piled together into one big emotional burst.