#falsecause

I woke up with a little worry in my heart and I don’t how can I finish the day without a worry in my heart. I kept on overthinking, was it really me? Am I really cause?

I started my day with a worry but I prayed for a peace. I prayed that I will not be the reason and I prayed that I will end the day with a peace. So, yeah when I looked at him, he looks not okay, he looks so serious and I tried not to talk to him for a while but around mid in the morning, I did. We had some short talks and I slowly feel okay and yet I still felt some awkwardness. 

We talked most of the afternoon and he ask for my advice on the PC that he will pick, his message, he also mentioned that he deactivated his Facebook due to personal reason and he find Facebook so toxic which I felt too couple of months ago. 

I called him in the afternoon and yes we talked about a little on my job and he opened up about the deactivation of Facebook. He told me stories how he got annoyed to his family, how he got annoyed to their opinion about what’s happening to the society. I actually appreciates it more cause he is sure of what he knows, what he believed in and what he wants, he is so consistent about those things. 

He said it was personal reason yet he told me about it. We talked about things a lot again and we can’t help ourselves to talk about things. Sometimes, I wanted to just get rid of my feelings with him and just be a friend who is nice to a good friend. 

Maybe if only I can manipulate my feelings, maybe if only I can stop myself for liking him, maybe if I can stop myself to chase him day by day, it will be worth it. Will it be?

Another night of questioning myself.

Good night.

Love Always,