#falito

Make-Up Kiss

“I’m sorry!”

“’I’m sorry’ doesn’t cut it! You had no right to read it, NO RIGHT!” he yells at you, making you jump by the force in his voice.

Raphael is right, you know that.

It was clear from the beginning that he would be mad at you for reading his diary. But what's done is done and since you can't undo it, all that is left for you is to apologize. Because you ARE sorry for reading it without his consent. But how could you resist when it was lying there so freely, the leather binding it so inviting? What about the things you could learn about your lover? Evasive and distant as he is, you have no chance to get to know him the direct way. Raphael is either happy or angry, that's it.

He may have confessed his love to you, but there's not much other than that he admitted. He keeps his emotions hidden most times and you're worried that maybe he's burying them too deep. So much, that he forgets about them all together. You wanted to know him, find out what troubles him when he's suddenly silent, discover the truth behind the painful expression he sometimes wears. But Hell would probably freeze before your twisted boyfriend willingly showed any weakness. Heaving a deep sigh, you decide to apologize again.

"Falito, I'm-", but he cuts you off, the hot anger in his eyes almost managing to melt you from across the room.

"DON'T YOU DARE 'FALITO' ME, LUCIFER!" he shouts and your body recoils on its own when he takes a step in your direction.

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry! Raphael. I'm sorry, I read your diary-", you say, giving yourself a mental slap. You know what's awaiting you as soon as the words leave your lips.

"IT'S NOT A DIARY, IT'S A JOURNAL YOU IDIOT!" he replies and you can literally feel the ground shake at the volume in his voice.

"OKAY. I GET IT. Your Journal. I'm sorry I read your JOURNAL. I really am. And I told you this already a hundred times, but I will do it again, because there isn't anything else I can do at this point," you say, your arms raised in defeat. Raphael clicks his tongue, turning around to fume quietly in the corner. You're starled when he begins to pace around the room and stops abruptly, stalking toward you. He fixes you with his deep blue eyes, examining your expression intently. You feel exposed, unable to look away even though your instincts tell you to flee. A few minutes pass before he opens his mouth to speak.

"Then why don't you LOOK sorry?" he finally asks you, lips curled into a disgusted snarl. Your eyes widen at the accusation, your cheeks heating up, guilt building up inside of you, because he's right. As much as you know the truth will rile him up further, you don't have it in you to deny it. So if asked whether you regret it, your answer would be 'not really'. As to why, well there are many reasons, but the most important thing is that, for the first time, you actually understood him. There's nothing you would have wanted in exchange of that little knowledge you gained about him. Raphael stares at you, raising one eyebrow when you don't answer. You can see that he's trembling all over with barely contained rage, his frustration etched in his scrutinizing gaze.

"You don't feel sorry at all, do you?" he says through gritted teeth, the pain in his voice, stabbing you brutally.

"I do!" you immediately protest, hesitating only a second before you add,"But I would do it again!"

There you said it. You boldly admitted the fact that you don't feel any remorse towards invading his privacy, ignoring the great risk it carried. Raphael doesn't know how to respond, staring at you incredulously. Clearly, he's having difficulties to understand what you just said.

"What?" he finally manages to spit out, a deep frown marring his pretty face. You gather all your courage as you prepare to spill out the full truth, your nerves running wild. You know that if you don't get this out now, you never will. "I would read it again, Raphael. Because..because I never felt any closer to you than when I did while I was reading it. Not even when you touch me or when you tell me that you love me. You never tell me how you feel, waving me off even when I ask you. You don't answer my questions and you always cut me off when I talk. I want to get to know you, I want to understand you. I want to feel close to you. And I finally do," you say, letting it all out. You only pause to catch your breath before you start to ramble again.

"I would do it all over again. I'd do it despite knowing that you'd hate me again. Because it was the first time I really believed that you actually loved me. That small piece of knowledge is worth doing it all over again, Raphael. Knowing that you loved me as much as I love you."

It's so freeing to get it all out of your system, to be able to tell him how you really feel. You stare at him after laying all your emotions bare. He stares back for a moment, but then he drops his gaze, his shoulder sagging. Worry overcomes you at the sight, making you wonder if it was really the right thing to do. But you are relieved when you hear his answer.

"I don't hate you," he murmurs quietly, his voice so soft that anyone else would've missed it, but you don't.

"What did you say?" you ask him nevertheless, needing to know for sure whether or not you heard him right.

"I don't hate you," he repeats, but his voice is muffled by his long hair hanging over his face. You take a brave in his direction, peeking through the curtain of dark hair to catch a glimpse of his handsome face. You reach out to push it away.

"Raph-" you are about to call his name when he grabs your wrist, pulling you against his chest.

"I still love you, you idiot," he whispers, but this time you hear him loud and clear. Raphael brings a hand to your face, cupping your chin lightly as he looks at you. "I could never hate you," he adds and you melt in his arms. Happiness rushes through you forcefully as he leans in for a kiss. His lips are warm and gentle, softly brushing over yours, but the sensation runs deep into your body, sparking every inch with joy. You press your lips against his to deepen the kiss and wrap your arms around his neck.