#failsafes

**I reference other articles in this one. If you haven't read them and want to, type in the titles at this site. There are so many times our dogs pick up on our mistakes, our fears, our anxieties, and our frustrations. So many people call me saying "I know it's me, I just am so nervous" or something similar. As someone who focuses almost just as much on the human psychology aspect as the dog psychology, it's important for me to show people what to do EVEN when feeling these emotions, for humans are very visual, and we have to SEE success before we believe it. The "fake it till you make it" philosophy is very true here. In many situations, you can get your dog to listen to you without actually having to be this perfectly calm person.

A lot of anxiety and frustration comes out in our voices. Dogs smell every emotion we have, and what we say determines how we feel--how we feel determines how we smell, and dogs pick up on our meanings. I am a huge advocate of saying EXACTLY what you mean in situations, while being very cognizant of your tone. Those of you that have had sessions with me have heard me equate good parenting to good dog training in many situations. My articles How and When To Use Voice Tone and Levels of Praise, as well as The Power of Instinctual Reaction, all go over the power of our language, but I'll touch on it briefly here, and then give you "failsafes" on what to do if you are frustrated, angry, fearful, anxious, etc in many situations.

With words--you all know I preach NEVER having inflection in the voice for corrections. It means frustration and signifies a lack of leadership. Flat and even is the way to go---it means you expect it, aren't letting bad behavior slide, but TRUST your leadership to not have to yell it. Words themselves are important. I never say "no bark, no bite, no jump" because it is too easy for people to forget their voice tone and make a mistake--the same goes when you use their name for correction, so don't do it. I have a variety of phrases and words that really help people have a better voice tone without thinking too much about it. I guarantee you that the power of the right verbal language to your dog can make a giant difference in the effectiveness of your discipline. Obedience commands are important to be consistent, but PRAISE and CORRECTION should range all the time. As you read these, picture situations where you think this could be applicable. Low level corrections: (Flat, "I expect this" tone of voice--calm but firm) These range from: "Stop". "Uh-uh". "No." "Be respectful." "Dont be disrespectful". "Quiet". "Hey." (NOT HEY!!!!!) "I don't like that behavior." "Dont' do that." My article The Power of Instinctual Reaction reminds you to pair up these phrases with an immediate "Thank you." or "Good job", "That's my boy/girl" or "Good." --the SECOND you see them stopping the bad behavior. Not a second later. Timing is everything.

Higher level corrections: (LOWER YOUR VOICE AND GET SUPER QUIET.) This is my "deadly voice". I learned it originally from my mother. :) It is done with raised eyebrows, widened OR narrowed eyes, and each word is distinct and enunciated. The quieter you are, the stronger you are, the more serious you are, and your dog will listen SO SO much better than when you yell. This will be an important "failsafe" when you're angry. Your mind instantly forces your body to have more overt body language because you're not spending all your resources on voice volume, and they will SMELL this energy much stronger. Smell is more important to them than hearing you. Don't ever think you need to get OVER their level of volume (barking), because they will think you are barking with them and are tense and frustrated (because you are!). Remember, you don’t want them to think that the distraction makes you nervous.

 Here are what I call "powerful phrases". These ONLY work when you go through the above body language. The tight mouth, the widened or narrowed eyes, BREATHE through your nose and out through your nose... "Don't even think about it." "I don't think so." "Absolutely not" "Really?" (I say this with a dangerous smile) or one of my personal favorites: just plain ol’ “Don’t.” 

These are not empty threats but are not threats of physical force. These are little ways in which we are actually serious, but in a leadership role--which is exactly what we are trying to impart to our dogs. My correction levels can get even more intense from there; that reaches a point where it becomes difficult to write, as each dog is different.

So what happens when we are angry? Nervous? Frustrated? Anxious? What does our body language say? This is a huge topic that would take me a book's length to fully delineate--so here is the tip of the iceburg so to speak when it comes to our words.

FRUSTRATION: (or feeding off your dog's anxiety or overexcitement) If you are frustrated in the moment: DON'T TALK. You can use touch, body language, and breath in through your nose out through your nose as you leash your dog, bring them away from something, whatever. Just DON'T talk for a minute, focus on your breathing, until you have calmed down enough to speak in the right voice tone. This is a great failsafe as dogs can smell your intensity way more effectively than listening to you yell. This REALLY helps when getting excited dogs ready for the walk, getting out of the car, etc.

ANGER: Use that "deadly" voice. Get quieter and quieter if you are angry, feeling disrespected (hence my verbal command "Don’t be disrespectful"), or any of those emotions. Yelling makes it worse and puts your dog in avoidance state. The "deadly voice" combined with the above described body language will make that much more effective.

NEED TO REDIRECT YOUR DOG FROM A BAD SITUATION AND SCARED OF WHAT COULD HAPPEN? --Make noises. "Kiss" and "Click" noises are SO effective in these situations. Especially if you use the forward posture as described in the Power of Instinctual Reaction article. This can prevent a fight when dogs are at a tense standoff and you're scared of what could happen if you yell. This is a great way to prevent your dog from growling or lunging at a stranger who is giving too much eye contact (See Treat Command for this one as well), and redirect your dog from jumping on people. You CAN'T sound nervous with these noises. That's the beauty of it. :)

TRYING TO DO MY CALMING CONVERSATION BUT YOU"RE NERVOUS: Smile and whisper. Lightens up the mood, doesn't sound nervous, helps keep your dog calm, doesn't get them too excited but is encouraging---lots of benefits for this one.

Food for thought: On walks, I always advocate short leash for good timing (NO tension, just short so you have all the timing you need to stop something), relaxed arms, "Calming Conversation", eye contact on your dog during distractions, my repetitive light tugs on the leash to keep the heel, and more. Why do I do this??? Well for starters, it's HUGE for teamwork and communication with them. But it also helps stop YOUR nervous signals!

1) Eye contact on your dog around distractions not only gives you good timing (stopping bad behavior before it starts, praising them when you see them look positively or using their nose towards the distraction, tells them you are NOT concerned about the distraction, etc etc. For more, see my Power of Visualization article), but also helps keep you from SEEING the distraction and getting super nervous. If you can't LOOK at it, it doesn't exist as much.

2) Short leash and relaxed arms mean you CAN'T tense your shoulders. Huge stress signal to your dog.

3) What do we do when we're stressed? We hold our breath. My Calming Conversation (Power of Visualization article), means you are sending calm signals to your dog and preventing you from holding your breath. Nervous? Just smile and whisper as described above.

4) My repetitive tugs not only keep your dog at a heel positively, reminds him/her that you are there and prevents total fixation, but ALSO prevents you from over gripping your leash with tension!

My switch command (See Switch Command article) incorporated in all of this makes it even easier to handle distractions on your walk.