Thoughts on pre-circus Ragatha getting in relationships with toxic lesbians old enough to be her mom… was she fucked up like that…
OUGH WAIT YEAH. I don't think it would be an actual relationship though. I think her experience in relationships in general is very limited and especially with women. She wouldn't want to have to explain it to her mom or ruin her reputation in their community (in my mind she's SUPER repressed with a ton of internalized homophobia and guilt) but ☝️ when she's especially fucked up and feeling bad about herself and lets herself experience maybe a tiny bit of anger and resentment, she goes to bars way far from her home, and gets really drunk and seeks attention from older women because she's just so desperate for some validation and gentleness and affection from anyone. And I think the next morning when she sobers up, she feels really gross and bad about it and doesn't tell ANYONE and intensifies her people pleasing tendencies & performing as being perfect and put together 100x harder. I LOVEEEE internalized homophobia Ragatha who feels guilty about having actual wants and needs.
