#fadingfanfic

V dreamed of the blackwall.

And then she woke up.

Or did she?

V blinked her eyes slowly. She tried to. One eye worked. Everything was blurry. It was just light.

Too bright.

She grimaced and shut the eye. 

V heard a low moaning sound and realized it was coming from her own throat. She paused. 

She felt tired.

In the distance she heard some sort of familiar noise she couldn’t place.

She coughed. Lost her breath. Coughed again.

Her eyes blinked open. Both of them this time. 

The noise was closer. 

Shapes were beginning to form and the noise grew closer still.

Vik Vektor came into V’s focus.

She felt a smile overtake her.

“Viiiik,” she hadn’t meant to draw his name out but she opened her mouth and the noise just kept happening.

Vik was talking to her but it just sort of sounded like white noise. 

V watched him happily.

“Vik saved me,” that time she was quite certain all the words she said were the proper length.

Vik smiled at her which made her smile grow bigger.

And then there was a hand on her arm.

V turned and it was… no… no way…

Kerry Eurodyne?

“Kerryy Euuurrroodyneee?” She felt herself blushing. What was happening?

“Hey V,” he sounded amazing.

He reached out and pushed hair off her forehead.

V felt heat envelope her whole body. She wasn’t sure what sort of dream this was but she was into it.

Kerry was talking to Vik now. 

V looked slowly between the two of them. They seemed to be discussing something medical and serious. She did not understand what they were saying.

“You get that?” Vik asked her.

V smiled and nodded. 

She yawned as she felt a wave of exhaustion hit her. 

Her eyelids felt heavy.

She could probably just nap a little.

A gentle touch cupped her cheek and shook her lightly.

V blinked her eyes open. Kerry Eurodyne.

Her heart felt like bursting.

“Not yet, okay? Once we get you home.”

V frowned in confusion.

“Stay awake, okay?” He sounded very sweet.

Ohhhhhhh. V nodded. 

Kerry looked back over to Vik who was talking again.

V kept staring at Kerry. Stay awake.

But she was tired. 

“Can’t handle your narcotics can you?”

V’s eyes widened. Where did that voice come from?

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” The voice growled and then added, “Lightweight.”

Johnny Silverhand materialized in front of her. He took his sunglasses off and stared at her levelly.

“Come on. Get it together,” his tone was so mean.

V blinked. Huh. 

Strangely… this did seem oddly familiar. 

She looked back over to Kerry and then over to Vik.

“Do they see you?”

Everyone turned to look at her.

“Get. It. Together.” Johnny ground out.

“You talkin' to Johnny?” Kerry was looking at her sympathetically.

“Yeah,” V nodded, she raised her arm to point at Johnny’s image and nearly knocked over a tray of Vik’s tools.

V turned her attention to her rogue arm. 

She looked back over to Kerry.

“I’m so heavy,” she complained. Ugh, she really was. None of her limbs seemed to be responding properly and they all weighed 9000 pounds.

Kerry rubbed her shoulder gently.

“We’ll get you home, you sleep the meds off, you wake up feelin’ right as rain,” his voice really was so lovely.

“Yes,” V nodded. Good plan. Her head rolled over to the other side, “Oh hi Vik!”

“Hey V, you think you can sit up?” Vik was so nice.

V nodded.

“You wanna give it a try?” He smiled encouragingly at her.

V nodded.

“Okay. Go.” 

V didn’t move. She turned to face forward and saw Johnny Silverhand again.

She tried to sit up. But nothing worked.

She frowned.

“Oh,” V tried again. Nothing. She looked at Vik, “Turns out I can’t.”

Vik smiled at her and then started to talk to Kerry again.

“V?”

V turned to look at Johnny again. 

“Mind if I help?” His voice was much softer.

V didn’t know why but she thought she might trust him more than any one in the whole world.

“Sure.”

His image disappeared and V was a little sad but then she felt him.

All of a sudden it was like she was lying on top of him and then he was guiding her up. Sitting her up. V took in the view of Vik’s clinic from her new vantage point. She looked between Kerry and Vik.

“I’m up!” She beamed at them.

“That’s great V,” Vik reached out to her arm to help her.

Kerry reached out for her other arm.

Johnny didn’t leave her, he stayed a steady presence in the weight of her entire body.

Between the four of them V got out of the chair and found herself standing.

Kerry wrapped an arm around her waist. 

Vik walked over from his side. 

“Listen to Kerry, get some rest, and you’ll wake up ready to face this thing again,” Vik gave her a nod.

V returned the nod. It seemed important what he said. She trusted this would all make sense later.

“You’re a mess,” Johnny’s voice admonished but he continued to hold her up.

His eyes grew wide as they met V’s.

Only it wasn’t V.

“Fuck,” Kerry grunted, this was weird.

“Oh please, like this isn’t your dream morning,” Johnny said in V’s voice as he rolled her shoulders back.

Kerry grimaced. His brain started flying off at that suggestion, however. He didn’t bother correcting Johnny by saying that in his dream morning Johnny would one thousand percent have his own fucking cock and yeah V was there too now… but he really didn’t feel like opening that can of worms. 

“Where’s V?” He tried to keep the panic out of his voice.

“That’s cute,” Johnny waved V’s hand, “She’s fine, just sleeping, I think.”

“You think?” Kerry didn’t want to play games with V’s consciousness.

“Yeah,” Johnny shrugged nonchalantly, “This hasn’t happened like this, probably some pill shit.”

“Probably?” Kerry’s eyebrows went up, “Johnny… should you like… take her to a ripper or something?”

“Should I?” Johnny started going through Kerry’s things, “Should… I?”

Kerry rolled his eyes and got outta bed. 

“What about you?” Johnny accused. 

“Me?” Kerry’s head whipped over to V’s body.

He took a step back as Johnny advanced towards him.

Kerry held up his hands in defense, though he wasn’t sure why he was the one who needed to defend himself.

“What?” Kerry shrugged.

Johnny’s glare intensified.

Kerry’s eyes widened and he was immediately thrust into a horrifyingly familiar feeling of not knowing whether Johnny wanted to fuck him or fucking kill him.

“Really cute how you are constantly reelin’ her in and then ditchin’ her,” Johnny’s eyes were hostile.

Kerry was a little shocked. He couldn’t believe it. Johnny was one to fucking talk.

“Oh yeah,” some pain and anger slipped into Kerry’s voice, “That’s what I’m doing with the fuckin merc who’s runnin NC, give me a break! V doesn’t take shit from anyone.”

“She takes shit from everyone Ker!” Johnny’s voice rose, “From fixers, from the people she’s savin, from you, from me. The bitch got shot in the head!”

“Johnny, watch it,” Kerry felt anger vibrating under his skin. No one could piss him off like Silverhand.

“Oh fuck off, Eurodyne, you defendin her honour?” Johnny mocked, “Smash her in a luxury car and now the pair of you are gonna eat caviar outta each other’s ass while burnin eddies?”

Kerry threw his hands up in the air because What the fuck was he talking about?

“That sounds like a great time, actually,” Kerry snarked back.

“Yeah, I bet it does,” Johnny snarled. 

“Fuck you,” Kerry ran his hand through his hair. This was very much not how he wanted this morning to go.

“Fuck me? That’s kind of what you were trying to do isn’t it?” Johnny growled at him.

There it was.

“Johnny, goddamnit,” Kerry shook his head, this wasn’t fucking fair.

“I mean no use in lyin to anyone,” Johnny sounded smug.

“What do you want?” Kerry appraised him, wondering what shit storm he was brewing.

“Its not about what I want,” Johnny had the audacity to look noble about it.

Kerry let out a harsh fake laugh but then as he really thought about Johnny Silverhand making that statement he started to genuinely howl. Kerry must have laughed for too long because eventually Johnny crossed his arms and scowled.

“Okay, alright, fuck you Eurodyne,” Johnny sulked. 

Kerry wiped his eyes and let out a final cackle. ‘Not about what I want’... yeah fucking right. An ancient exhaustion hit Kerry and he felt the anger leave him.

“Yeah, fuck me,” Kerry gave Johnny a genuine grin, “You want a coffee? How long are you sticking around for… this is fucked up.”

“Coffee now? What, convo gettin a lil too close to home?” Johnny’s mean smirk fell on V’s lips.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you?” Kerry just shook his head at him.

“I don’t got time for what I’d like,” Johnny’s voice was low.

Kerry frowned at that. He didn’t look up at Johnny then because… well… that was a loaded statement to say in front of Kerry Eurodyne. He decided not to touch it.

“Yeah. I’m making coffee,” he started heading downstairs. He wondered if Johnny would stalk around the bedroom for a little longer. He got his answer as Johnny trailed after him, V’s voice mocking him as they went.

“How’s that gonna happen? Didn’t see any staff around.”

“Oh fuck, you’re right, gonna have to call someone,” Kerry quipped sarcastically.

“Remember the hostel in Stockholm?” Johnny’s tone was finally free from anger.

Kerry headed over to his coffee machine.

“Stockholm? What was… Oh!” Kerry remembered a janky machine lighting their room up sixty years prior. A rumble of laughter leapt out of him, “That coffee machine was fucked though!”

“Suuuure it was,” Johnny chuckled.

“How many buildings have we burned down?” Kerry inquired as he started getting his machine going.

“My number’s higher than yours,” Johnny drawled.

“I said ‘we’, also not a competition, also a fucked up thing to be proud of,” Kerry grabbed a pair of espresso cups.

“Shit, Ker, think I might be fucked up?” Johnny asked rhetorically.

They both took a deep breath as the coffee and steam hit their noses. 

There was a lull in the conversation then, Kerry calmed the machine.

“Coffee,” Kerry handed Johnny his cup before starting to get his ready.

“Hmm,” Johnny responded in his way of thanks.

Kerry couldn’t believe how insane this all was and how absurdly normal it all felt.

“Well, I know this is how you guys roll, but this was not how I saw the morning going,” Kerry admitted.

Johnny took a sip of his espresso. 

“Normally not how things go,” his voice finally showing a hint of concern, “I think it’s the pills… shit’s speedin’ up.”

“Yeah, you guys mentioned the pills…” Kerry was nervous about all of this shit, he grabbed his coffee. The moment the liquid hit his tongue he felt better.

“You’re workin’ on new stuff?” Johnny switched topics abruptly.

“Yeah,” Kerry felt something in his chest flare as he thought about the album in the works, “It’s big… it’s—”

“—Exactly, you don’t got time, she definitely don’t got time. I never had any time to begin with,” Johnny stated it like they were facts. 

Anxiety started to rush through Kerry but he played it cool.

“Nah, it doesn’t have to be—”

“—back off, Ker,” Johnny’s voice was hard.

They stared at each other.

“Johnny—”

“—I’m gonna get her through this, but we’re running out of time,” again his voice sounded so final.

Kerry felt real fucking fear pound in his chest. This reminded him of something.

“You guys don’t have to do this alone,” he tried to sound as resolute as Johnny.

Johnny grimaced and then stumbled forward. He grunted and dropped his coffee.

Kerry’s eyes went wide and he rushed over to steady him, discarding his cup in the process. The moment his hand wrapped around V’s arm he felt an incredible pull to throw his arms around Johnny and hold him but he held back. 

Johnny leaned into Kerry slightly and then brought his hand to his mouth as he started coughing.  

Kerry supported him as best he could, concern rippling through his system. 

Johnny jerked suddenly and hissed out air through clenched teeth. 

Kerry’s heart was beating so fast that he thought he might pass out.

A tense moment passed and then a pair of wide confused eyes met Kerry's.

“Kerry?” 

Relief flooded through Kerry's body. His grip softened.