that's a really messed up thing to say ngl
but, shadow, I think you should stop thinking about what will happen and how to change it, and instead think about what is happening.
what's happening is that all your friends are still there. They’re alive, they’re well and they’re waiting for you. Live your life with them, have projects with them, because if one day they pass away, I think they'll rather have a memory of you as a great lover/friend rather than a stressed out and distant one.
And for the record, they got hit by a fuckass MASTER EMERALD so they'll probably live way longer than the average human. All my love <3
Even if it hurts, I would rather be distant and protect them. My life almost came to an end during that virus. But I would risk everything I am for them. For him. I owe them safety after the years of torment I inflicted on them and the years of kindness they gave in return. They accepted me after everything I did. I don’t deserve any of them. This is the only way I can apologize.
They will live longer, but not as long as me. I will surpass them. All I can do is carry their memories with me when they are gone.