#f3miii

content warning: language, brief references to sex, drugs, pants being pooped

Rundown

As always, we start this week with our notable dropouts, which are songs exiting the UK Top 75 (that’s what I cover) after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This episode, we bid farewell to: “Steady” by Bella Kay, “Drive Safe” by Myles Smith and Niall Horan, “Elizabeth Taylor” by Taylor Swift, “party 4 u” by Charli xcx after the Record Store Day return last week and, thanks to three-song-rule shenanigans, “Baby” by Justin Bieber featuring Ludacris, “Nice to Each Other” by Olivia Dean and “Stick Season” by Noah Kahan all dip from the chart. More on them, particularly the latter two, in a bit.

As for our returns, we start with the Antoine Fuqua’s spectacle biopic Michael – bringing to life a sanitised biography of the King of Pop’s early life and career – helping several tracks to return by Michael Jackson, whose performances and music videos have been painstakingly recreated by his nephew Jaafar in the film. Apart from the dedication taken to replicate those, a brilliant-on-arrival soundtrack and some great acting from Colman Domingo as Joe Jackson, the film might not be anything too special or anything you don’t already know about Michael Jackson, but it’s fun as shit to experience in the cinema and I honestly recommend it. It’s no doubt going to be better than however they handle the second half of his life, which… could be a bit of a mess, we’ll have to see in a couple years’ time. Yeah, it’s strange, I actually saw a movie that impacted the chart for once. Regardless, it’s time to get into some chart history for one of the biggest artists ever, thanks to a biopic that has already set its own records. If you’re not interested in all that trivia and memory lane, just skip to the new arrivals.

All three of our returning tracks are produced by the late and legendary Quincy Jones. The first is 1979’s “Don’t Stop ‘til You Get Enough” from the disco classic Off the Wall, known for its hilarious and adorable chroma-key music video, iconic spoken intro and lyrics that seem suggestive but are really about following your dreams. I won’t go too deep into the background history of any of these songs because they’re not new entries but when it comes to chart history… listen, the Official Charts Company has its database for reasons, and one of them has to be. MJ’s original recording for “Don’t Stop…” peaked at #3 in 1979, whilst The Buggles’ equally iconic “Video Killed the Rock Star” was #1 and after leaving the chart the same year, it would return for a few weeks in 2006 and 2009 thanks to a video single and Michael’s passing, respectively. Like all of MJ’s hits, a variety of artists have sampled, remixed, covered or otherwise reinterpreted “Don’t Stop…” since 1979, though only one of which, to my knowledge, has charted. In 2004, Mr.ON and the Jungle Brothers flipped it for “Breathe Don’t Stop” which peaked at #21 whilst “Take Me to the Clouds Above” by LMC vs. U2 was at #1. There may be more hidden in the OCC database I haven’t been able to find.

The next two tracks are from the 1982 classic Thriller, with the first being “Beat It” – about walking away from a fight despite how badly you want to prove you’re tough and macho – that is known in part for its award-winning music video featuring opposing gangs and its epic guitar solo from Eddie van Halen himself. “Beat It” also peaked at #3 whilst a new wave classic was #1, this time behind “Let’s Dance” by David Bowie in 1983. Like “Don’t Stop…”, the original “Beat It” would return in 2006 and 2009 for the same reasons. Perhaps the best-known cover of “Beat It” is by Illinois pop-punkers Fall Out Boy with guitarist John Mayer, whose version had a decently long chart run of its own in 2008 and peaked at #21 for two consecutive weeks (whilst Mint Royale’s “Singin’ in the Rain” and the much more notable “Viva la Vida” by Coldplay were topping the chart). Another iconic cover is comedian “Weird Al” Yankovic’s “Eat It” parody which peaked at #36 in 1984 whilst Duran Duran’s “The Reflex” sat at #1. Finally, in 2023, Drake told us – yes, us – to “beat it” since he was one hit away from Michael on “First Person Shooter”, which peaked at #4. No, that’s not an interpolation, just needed to get Drake in the episode somehow. It always ends up happening.

“Billie Jean” was Michael’s second solo UK #1 though it only spent a week there in 1983, stalling out “Total Eclipse of the Heart” by Bonnie Tyler which would soon overthrow it. MJ introduced his signature glove, jacket and moonwalk during his televised performance of the track and it resulted in his most-celebrated hit, and his most-streamed at that with over two billion on Spotify. The song spent considerably more time in the top 100 than the other two, as outside of the 2006 and 2009 re-entries, it appeared in 2008 and also as recently as this year – in fact, it spent a few weeks dwelling in the bottom of the chart in 2025 and returned to the top 100 last week at #93. Again, various renditions have charted in the UK across the years. It’s notably been the focus of many medleys, mashups and remixes, including the Italian act Club House pairing it with Steely Dan’s “Do it Again” in 1983 (yes, already) for six weeks on the chart and an #11 peak (Paul Young’s “Wherever I Lay My Hat (That’s Home)” was #1 at the time). Also in ’83 was US singer Lydia Murdock, who continued the tradition of answer songs by taking the perspective of Billie Jean in “Superstar”, which peaked at #14 whilst “Karma Chameleon” by Culture Club was #1. In 1984, Bobby Orlando lifted the drums from “Billie Jean” (without credit) for his original mix of the Pet Shop Boys’ “West End Girls” which would hit #1 in re-recorded and reissued form later on – similarly, an official remix exists of Blackstreet’s #9 hit “No Diggity” from 1996 that is literally just a cover of “Billie Jean”. That same year, a German punk band The Bates covered it for a #67 peak. The song must have been popular that year as the late Aaliyah appears to have used an uncredited sample in her cover of Marvin Gaye’s “Got to Give it Up” featuring Slick Rick that peaked at #37 whilst The Prodigy’s “Breathe” was at #1. Linx mashed MJ’s “Billie Jean” against Eric B. & Rakim in his “Billie Jean (Got Soul)” bootleg peaking at #82 in 1997. In 2000, Ian Brown of the Stone Roses covered it as the B-side of “Dolphins Were Monkeys” (#5), the first step to a hypothetical full EP of MJ covers (that never came out). 2002 saw two remixes emerge – “Billie Jean 2002” by Jakkos World (#92) and simply “Billie Jean” by the Sound Bluntz, which peaked at #32 not long after (when Christina Aguilera’s “Dirrty” featuring Redman was #1). In 2008, the late and legendary rock vocalist Chris Cornell covered it for a #77 peak.

In 2008, both Thriller tracks were included in a megamix that peaked at #96. This week, they sit at #22 and #12 respectively with “Don’t Stop ‘til You Get Enough” not far behind at #23. We also have a few other less interesting re-entries, namely Justin Bieber’s “YUKON” back again at #27 as well as “Lose Control” by Teddy Swims at #73.

Then we have our notable gains, a quieter bunch including (sigh) “Mr. Brightside” by The Killers at #52, “Boston” by STELLA LEFTY at #48, “Self Aware” by Temper City at #45 and finally, Noah Kahan, who lands three hits in the top 20 thanks to his new album. We’ll, of course, talk more about that when we get to it, but “The Great Divide” returns to the chart at #17 and “Porch Light” speeds up to #20.

Our top five on the UK Singles Chart starts with “FEVER DREAM” by Alex Warren up to #5, “Dracula” by Tame Impala at #4, “Beauty and a Beat” by Justin Bieber and someone else still at #3, followed by of course, both Olivias in the top two. We actually have more from Dean this week too, among a few others, so let’s get to them now.

New Entries

#71 – “NOBLE” – F3miii

Produced by F3miii

Okay, I’ll bite: who the Hell is F3mii? Pronounced “Femi” according to his Instagram, he’s a Dublin singer who released this track in December of last year – he’s been putting out singles since at least 2020. Slowly growing streams since, “NOBLE” has found itself the subject of TikTok virality thanks to his Frank Ocean-influenced sound and… “steamy fancams” involving characters from HBO’s teen drama Euphoria. Damn it, I could have got the Drake mention here instead. As for “NOBLE”, you can hear the Frank Ocean or even Childish Gambino comparisons immediately with his lighter voice over that wash of beeping synth that covers the basic, punchy R&B groove and singing that honestly mixes Frank with a bit of The-Dream, or at least that’s how it sounds to me in the kind of melodies he goes for over a very sweet, compressed instrumental F3miii produced himself. Lyrically, F3miii paints the picture of this flashy girl and the thought process behind when the two meet eyes – “I see her glasses comment” is a great little line about subtle body language – that ends up in a beautiful, intimate moment we don’t actually get that much detail about, which I love. “She has composure” kind of hints towards something sexual, but the lines about control and running in circles in the same chorus give the impression of dancefloor ecstasy. F3miii can confidently take her to paradise, obsessed with this woman and proving to her he’s the one in a way that feels very traditional R&B, calling her a blessing from above in the second verse. The second pre-chorus is gorgeous enough but when it leans into the drumless chorus with that fuzzy synth bass front and centre, commanding the rhythm through a wonky heart pulse that coalesces soon but not soon enough into the full wave of bubbly synth goodness that is the complete instrumental… it’s not really a surprise I love this. I’m not even a big Frank Ocean fan, I just think this hazy, blocked-out slab of electro-R&B is super vivid and really deserves to be a hit. Check this guy out if you haven’t, his recent singles are pretty eclectic, he has some great indie and dance-leaning stuff if this isn't your cup of tea.

#68 – “I Can’t Love You Anymore” – Ella Langley and Morgan Wallen

Produced by Ella Langley, Austin Goodloe and Ben West

I was a little disappointed when I finally got to hear Ella Langley’s album Dandelion, which – much like Kehlani’s recent self-titled release actually – was so dwindling in its throwbacks that it lost a little personality and aped tried-and-true structures without perfecting the songs or, in most cases, saucing them up with something interesting or at least a narrative you wouldn’t hear from their respective genres. The problem was less evident in Langley’s album though that’s likely due to my lesser familiarity with the history of country pop than R&B so I can imagine someone’s a little bit more of an expert either finding it frustrating or loving the throwback. What was equally disappointing was seeing her pop out a song with Morgan Wallen to tack on some streams onto the end of the track listing, though I actually did like this song, even if it seems a little egregiously cobbled together at points. Truth be told, I was listening to the album and this track came on right after the outro (notably with no Miranda Lambert to be found in the credits unlike most of everything else), as a pretty unexpected upbeat country-pop jam. Then I got jump-scared by the Joey Moi honk machine. Jokes aside, the washed-out acoustics and flat drums from Aaron Sterling fit this kind of breakup song where the reminiscing quickly teeters back into an obsession that neither can kick, with plenty of smoky imagery about cigarettes, ghosts, kisses leaving a burn, pictures covered in dust. The ashiness of some of the lyrics contributes to the blurred, dreamlike framing of Langley and Mr. Wallen (whose voice sticks out only to meekly slime back into Langley’s at the end of some lines… it’s actually a great coincidence for thematics). They’re both fighting their own memories of each other and despite the clean production (and a bridge that’s a little lacking in development – feels like they just needed a last-minute section they could both sing), I think it culminates in a song that gets across that frustrating, repetitive process of getting over someone. It might even be on par with “Speaking Terms” as my favourite on the album.

#31 – “Baby Steps” – Olivia Dean

Produced by Bastian Langebæk and Zach Nahome

We get yet another sleeper hit from Olivia Dean’s The Art of Loving charting – this time, it’s fan favourite “Baby Steps” which really should have appeared sooner than now and, yeah, I’ll keep it short since this album’s continued success grants us bonus Dean hits every few months but I think it’s a great song. Though hidden towards the end of the track listing, the song has still accumulated over 200 million streams and has just now appeared on the chart, with the album having been released back in September last year. Like much of the album, “Baby Steps” is a gentler song with the post-breakup angle being taken pretty slowly and within as much reason as possible – all of the empty space left by the breakup can be difficult, but she’s slowly moving forward, being more independent, though given the infantilisation (“baby steps”) and some of the more helpless lines against the piano and soul guitar that rise out of a filter in the intro, you can still hear the fear of being alone. Those hesitant drums that only start stepping towards the mix in the second half of the first verse really define the song’s tone of awkward balance to me, with great little flairs like Olivia’s high-register aside riff in the second verse (a kind of frustrated yelp that is supposed to be reassuring, we all know it isn’t) and the shifting of the bongos in the left ear all contributing to a sort of clumsy, stuttering track that still takes time in the bridge to acknowledge the finality of the breakup, taking an odd sort of respite in that at least she can’t “fall back” if she’s always making steps forward and tripping herself up along the way. I wouldn’t mind seeing this become yet another hit for her, though I wouldn’t be surprised if the steam has been lost a tad with how many months it’s been out. Not that has stopped any other Olivia Dean song…

#12 – “Doors” – Noah Kahan

Produced by Noah Kahan and Gabe Simon

I have yet to listen to Noah Kahan’s latest album The Great Divide, which just debuted at #1 on the UK albums chart, his second to do so after Stick Season. I really want to listen but it is, if including the expanded release, literally feature-length at an hour and 36 minutes. I simply have not made it a priority to sit down and take it all in yet. I’m not a machine. Hell, even the machines are unable to do some of what I do. Ask ChatGPT for a list of charting “Billie Jean” remixes and see if they include fucking Jakkos World. Anyway, “Doors” was first teased around a month ago so fans have been anticipating this one, alongside the rest of the album which he (perhaps jokingly, yet to do my own determination on this) said could suck and just be completely underwhelming. Well, is that the case for “Doors” or this the song that’ll finally win him the Kids Choice Award he’s pooping in peoples’ pants for? Check his Twitter, that’s not just an insane metaphor.

“Doors” introduces itself as almost a classic outlaw song, with a backstory of Kahan being born into a literal ice storm in Vermont and that forecasting (no pun intended) his acting out as a kid, with his dad’s line of “God forbid [he] hurt someone” ringing out as he continues to get into a different kind of trouble when he gets older: hurting his loved ones through being an unreliable and paranoid person (including having night terrors, jumping at the rattling of keys – the kind of domestic fears that make you wonder how his dad’s concern related to other traumas). That chorus uses the “doors” analogy to give this person in his life options to leave it behind and hopefully never look back… but for some reason beyond Kahan, they’re still interested in reaching into his life out of a closeness or a fascination. Even a bridge that hopes for his partner to moves on reaches a final chorus that flips the flighty lyrics to one of complete finality: “I just live here, babe, but you’re the one”. With the added “it gets harder to see me the closer you try to look”, it could even imply that the difficulty is part of the appeal. The same doors to leave may be doors she wants to open up out of curiosity, they may be doors she can’t open up because of Kahan’s mental barriers or she won’t like what she says. It’s a pretty nuanced conceit to write a song about and I really like the execution here.

Instrumentally, it’s nothing you wouldn’t expect from Kahan’s brand of folk but it’s hardly distracting and I liked the sort of ghostly, detached delivery and multi-tracking he used in the first verse especially. To be more muted and lowkey for a song with this theme was intriguing until the song finally let up into a second-verse belt from Kahan and accompanying strings that doesn’t fully release, feels like it’s still keeping some kind of imaginary barrier between the raw emotion and the listener, I think mostly because of the constant drums. I love how the reverb clings Kahan’s words together meekly into a soup in the chorus and it even has a damn guitar solo, however short and sort of frail it is. I love this as much as “Porch Light” and I really am antsy to hear that album, even with its length, now that several of these singles have gripped me. Great stuff again.

Conclusion