Sigh I want to talk to my psychiatrist
I want to tell her that I absolutely cannot do this right now.
SO many people have organised so much and spent so much time trying to sort out tutoring and even trying to get me into this horse care class by CREATING AN EXTRA SPACE but
man, I am not ready for this yet.Â
Since Monday and Tuesday i've had yet another relapse?? I'm exhausted but can't sleep, I feel constantly ill, upset... i have no energy, I ache all over, I'm dizzy, I'm easily agitated, and i feel completely utterly useless, and my loss of appetite is worse.
The thought of going to the tutor tomorrow, and of going again on tuesday and then going on the course, is making me cry.
I am so fucking done with this you have no idea.
Seriously have I not gone through enough shit in my life.
I got through all of that. I got through my parents' rough divorce, I got through my dad's ex-girlfriend treating me in ways i absolutely hated, I got through bad bullying, looking after my mum when she was seriously ill and after she got the operation to help, a brother that has behavioural issues, my Gran whom I loved SO MUCH passed away, not long after the dog I had grown up with did, i worry FREQUENTLY about things I'm not gonna put on here, etc. etc. et-fucking-cetera.......
What's the deal has some weirdass higher power decided that I deserved more misery and thought 'OH HEY LET'S MAKE HER DEPRESSED AND GIVE HER ANXIETY ISSUES'
