#extremely close

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i dont speak much about my brothers, but there is one i love, to an indefinite amount. to say this might sound gay, but that's not an issue to me. call it gay or whatnot. this is stronger than camaraderie, and a word for it is hard to find. my cousin reshma. first of all. unbounded. and the universe in which she and i know and understand eachother. is not enough to describe or even understand all that is, or can be explained. it's much more deep rooted and real than anyone could ever know. to find someone who knows you in your darkest depths, and who can move along with you in the fastest of motions. that's an attempt to describe 1% of what it feels like. and to experience all the synchronsities daunts that 1%. tej and dillon though. are my closest. and though dillon is on the brink of his life. and living within the means and understanding of another world, i wish to admire tej in this post. first of all, i want to say. i am not much. i am just a meager person. walking around. doing what is needed, not getting quite what im able of or deserve. i am real, soulful, and gracious, in what i try to say, speak and do. and i understand that there are broken people out there that need assistance. and i am willing to give of myself to.. blah blah blah. description about me and my givings to the universe. what i mean to speak about. is one who is dear to me. and that is a brother. despite blood. despite friendships and experiences and voids in which life... can seem bleak.  someone who it would pain me to ever lose. this. is tej. he's a partner in life. a brother. i dont know if his brothers in frats can come close to.. the closeness and camaraderie and things that go along with that, which i give and pay attention to him. he is boldness. strength. ability. ambition. pride. he is much. and great. i would humble myself to him. i would take care, and supply if needed. do what i could.  he is meek. and. i feel like im doing an injustice to attempting to speaking about his wealth of character. and who i value him to be.  i guess all i can say. is that i care intensely about him. i would put my own agenda and life on pause for him. to ensure he's okay. i dont know if i can say more. actually. i know i can say much more. but i feel that the tradeoff between potency and fluffer in speech shouldnt be approached. especially with someone who is so close and this feeling of intensity.  there are not many people i can be completely real with. and he is one of them. one of the very few. and this is worth my love and care, as whole as it could be.

Extremely loud, and incredibly close.