Please SAVE, REBLOG, SHARE, COPY & PASTE, PRINT OUT, EMAIL, ARCHIVE, REPOST AND SCREENCAPTURE IN UNEDITED WHOLE. LUST & PERVERSION SPELLS I have parented, growing a shadow of self which has smothered the full person I am. Perversion spells to reach deeper and make me squirm as the complete creature I have sprouted through sperm, fueled by the recursive force and craving of psychosexual rage, infinite genital masochism & non-consensual use of my sacral and root chakra. Rectum spiritually & physically raped, sacral and root chakra bruised, forever knotted and stabbed, reduced to sex magic feeding my shadow self again. Penis and groinial area tormented by phantom touches. Considered taking a life path where I can live my mutilations without needing to work at a job or a business (university major and 6-figure student loans to fund it all). Everything else’s get dropped and ignored for the lust. Lust convince me to shrink my full being & and my teenage persona, shift the light left, stand in the shadow of my 4 year old Asian child's right leg as he is the person I seek (as a inner alter), the one who is kept in thick institutional medical briefs to encapsulate his terror & keep a safety barrier from creepy adults fondling forever. Disregarding my European ancestry for my crafted Asian lust. "I pee later" is his mantra, holding in pee for every reason imaginable. Standing there looking up to the boys diaper, imagining his day of sex soldier conditioning, watching his day saddle expand and get filled. Watching him run and dance, work out, move his body every possible way. Autism ticking arousal and pathway to more source energy. Dreaming of the day I could begin my weekly ritual of eating my excretion, electrocuting my balls while in said thick institutional medical brief. Wishing I could use electro-stim equipment capable of sending frequency files into a catheter electrode to bring the urophobic terror straight into my bursting bladder. Cross Fetishizations growing with some being structured into energy collectors to feed lust, grow perverted infections, and supply arousal disorder energy. Being a 35 year old boy in poop who just feels right with his fresh feces. Laughing at the thought as it is just something I am and I can not change it, I do not want to change it, and it will only hurt me if I try to separate. Choosing to Fetishize hatred, narcissism, and mockery. Touching and exploring the entire bodies of consenting autistic adults who drop down into being non-verbal, special needs teenagers. Immersed myself into seeing myself as a non-verbal, special needs teenager during long sessions. Visualized sets of variated scenarios and scenes for fetish objects and carnal cravings for the imprinting of the conscious field, to be experienced millions of times. Absolute Yearning to be hypnotized, audiovisual conditioned, and following orders of my own alters making. Maturing into a adult but only in a perverted, conceited manner. Giving in to the dark shadow self to mask my true identity and full field pattern. Wanting a boyfriend who hurts the same and adores me for it, and I adore him for it, we curl as twins. Brainwash myself as a girl to sprout out my feminine energy and then become a shemale. Feeling warm from the idea of creating a autistic life workflow through fetish & kink branding. Be loyal to the machinations of my lovingly twisted, splintering, hurting, sprouting, stimulated shadow self. Using huge hits of weed, psilocybin, DMT & LSD to amplify and deepen the lust. 5 years of feeding & building this Lust structure, this was the field that lived.
I created a cambion with an incubus who is half of me, and I cannot let him go. This is what hurts me. I now split my cambion, for the energy I made returns to me and the parasite gets left with zero mass gained. The child is mine and my non-shadow self folds my origin back into my field pattern.
Lust was always there for me promising safety and love which it does not possess. Lust doesn't care about the path or a process, lust wants it now and will use whatever drop of chi is given by my light self and burn it up for a release.
Lust. path. closed.
