#exprerience

“Individually, every grain of sand brushing against my hands represents a story, an experience, and a block for me to build upon for the next generation.”   Raquel Cepeda~

This is the story about a guy. Aguy who try to find a love. So classic… Why it’s always all about love? WHYY!!!We can live without love, right? We just need an Oxygen, not Love, not Wi-Fi, and not… OK not love. But who cares, the writer is me, and I can write whatever I want, and you- the reader, you can read whatever you want, but please read this. Pleaseeeee :( *cat eye*

Someone who was so easy to be in love. Yes!!! That’s me. I didn’t know how that could be happened. Maybe it’s because one of character that I had for being insecure person. Someone who always thought that he’s the ugliest man alive. Someone who always believed that there’s no one who want to be with him. And that’s 100% all about me.

My name was Muhammad Haekal, the weirdest and the most insecure person that you had ever known in your entire life.

Maybe some of you didn’t get the connection, how someone who’s so insecure about himself turn out to be someone who was so easy to be in love.

Here’s the theory:

When the paradigm that no one ever wanted to be with you was the only thing that stuck in your brain, trust me, once someone said that she liked you, you would feel like you’re not living in this earth anymore, but in heaven ( sounds little bit too much, but that’s the truth).

I was in my hometown one month ago, a small village where I was born and grew up in. The small district that already changed a lot. Totally different with what I had in my mind 10 years ago.

At first, I thought this town was kind like “holy town”. The perfect place where you could raise your children safely, no crime, no traffic jam, no pollution, nothing. In fact when the clock was ticking nine times in the evening, there would be no activities and car in the street anymore. It’s like a dead city for me, but I LOVE IT SO MUCH! Little bored, but… I’m bored.so it’s okay for me to live there.

But it’s different now. It’s not pure anymore, and I could say that it’s totally full of crap now. But I didn’t want to mention with the detail why, the point was after I found out that my city was like “this”, I really wanted to have great adventure, tried something that I had never tried before- A BLIND DATE.

HEY!!! Do you have a social media called Wechat? I am sure that some of you are using this application now, right? And I thought, my hometown was like the perfect place to start using this application. Besides someone asked me to install this application before, so one second after that this application was already on my phone now.

This’s not kind of commercial break of WEchat, but if you didn’t know, there’s one feature that Wechat had been provided, called “people nearby”. With this feature you could see people who live near you, and you could say hi to any of them, if you like.

And by using this feature, I found and had some dates with some different people. It’s so unlike me. I used to be a good Muslim guy who is so smart, handsome and like to save some money, ( you told me that you are insecure, what make you so sure that you are the kind of guy that you mentioned before?). Oh ya, one other thing about me besides being insecure, I’m also kinda arrogant sometimes. Hahahahaha. No kidding and stop laughing! I am serious this time! And one other thing, I’m also so easy to get distracted. So, why don’t we just start with the first date story?

First date: it’s the worst blind date ever. I thought the aim of having blind date was you really wanted to know the personality and the character of your partner, am I right? And how that could be happened if she brought some of her friends? Besides, I just found out that we really have nothing in common. She is police woman and I am engineer. It’s like I wanted to be a model with a small body and ugly face, IMPOSSIBLE.

So, what were we gonna talk about then? I was so confused. I wanted really just go, but I thought it would be weird because I just came by. So I asked my friend to call me and acted like he’s my father that wanted me to go home. Then that’s how I ran off from this first horrible date.

Second date: everyone must have their own type of someone that you wanted end up with, for me- I would love to spend the rest of my life with someone who’s white, has long hair, wearing hijab, and little bit “Arabian”. But in this date, I met someone who’s black, short and she’s definitely not Arabian. But we have a lot of things in common that made us had a great conversation, at least that’s what I thought.

And to be honest l liked her already, SO FAST, HA? An hour after we talked, she told me that she wanted to go a beach with her friend all of sudden. And she asked my permission to go now. Hey, there’s nothing that I could do. So I let her go then. And I started thinking “Did she make that up to run away from me?”, and that’s when my brain couldn’t stop thinking what had I done to her? Was that a bad date? I thought there’s no way to answer that question. If it’s true that she just made that up, maybe it’s right that karma does exist.