Jul 17
omc i feel like i just got lobotomized i cant remember anything i shouldnt have talked to her
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omc i feel like i just got lobotomized i cant remember anything i shouldnt have talked to her
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my mom could have prevented all of this if she js deleted this dumbsss girl off my friendlist in like 2024 ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ its ok tho but like yea.. ik she was never controlling what i do on my phone etc (which im thankful for) but sometimes u GOTTA interfere... she could have reduced years of trauma.. honestly she couldnt anyway cuz my phone is in english and she doesnt understand english but..yeaahh.. still coulda tried..
although im not sad about it, some things happen for a reason ig, and im glad i got.. experience??
im aware im making myself feel worse by posting about her and not actively keeping her out of my life with other things outside of this Tumblr blog (im like an alcoholic keeping a bottle to smell it or to lick the surface)
im sorry for being so stupid and self sabotaging idk i js dont feel like dealing with it rn bc i got so many other problems :(
"no contact is non negotiable you need to leave her if you want to feel better, otherwise its just reopening an old wound again and again"
dude i keep coming back to her every few months i mean i have her blocked rn but im so fucking scared that im gonna relapse and contact her again in a few months i hope not omfc i feel sick
i hate trauma bonds lets all cancel trauma bonds lets kill this concept
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maybe the reason why i "care" (the way i react to her etc) about her so strongly is because weve known eachother since we were very little maybe its like childhood trauma or some thing
i harmed you?
"you deserve it" LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER "it was rational" LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER "not responsible" LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂