#expanded thoughts

Lessons of Life (Function)

Museum of the Lost Expanded Exhibit Thoughts

I loved animals as a child, and by love animals I mean I would research the ever loving fuck of whatever animal I was assigned to as a child and then tell you all about it. This is probably the reason why my mother thought I had photographic memory. All animals were my fixation at some point or another, and school continuously gave me permission to lean into that fixation.

To this day, I am not sure how I ended up researching seahorses. I just know that this project was meant to teach little me how to use the library for research purposes. For those who are not aware, I am old, the Internet didn't even become a thing until I was in middle school. And the Internet that we know today (sort of) wasn't at thing until I was in university. So the ability to pull information from a library book was very important at the time.

All I know was, that I was really nto searching seahorses. To the point where I had, at some point, learned that people kept them as pets and wondered if I could do the same. Thankfully, that is something I would never be allowed to do, so no seahorses were harmed by child me.

But seahorses were still harmed, because, as it turned out, they were popular in some Chinese folk medicines. I do not know why, or how they are used, I have never looked it up even as I am writing this. I know this though, because my obsession became so much that my mother went to one of those herbal Chinese stores and brought me a dried up seahorse.

She gave me to me, while we were in the car, in a small paper bag. Inside was a yellowed, dried up, translucent seahorse. If I held it up to the light I could see why through it. It was also very prickly to touch. As an adult, I suspect this creature was probably grounded up and put into something for medicine, as it was kind of delicate.

I kept it for years even after the project was done. It came one of those treasures children tend to keep hidden away in drawers and boxes. The only reason why it hadn't been destroyed by child me was that my mother had the smart idea to put it into a bottle.

And by bottle, I mean one of those plastic sample bottles, meant to collect urine samples. I often got bladder infections as a child due to my medical devices so I always had those sample bottles on hand in case we had to do testing suddenly. In fact, I have so many of these bottles growing up that I've used them store smaller pieces of my medical equipment, and apparently seahorses.

(Emergence from the Cave)

Each person is drawn to certain aspects of reality for a reason. Self-exploration helps one to discern what the pull means. It helps you to understand, wholly, why everything about you is the way that it is. It helps you to determine the full scope of your inner reference.

Therefore, true Self-Discovery includes discovering the neglected parts of the Self: what unacknowledged gifts need to be cherished and bolstered, what you need but keep yourself from, and what you thought you needed but is no longer necessary. These neglected parts compose your shadow (a concept better explained by Carl Jung). Deep self-understanding shines a light on this shadow.

So, once discovered, your newly exposed inner parts look back at you waiting for action. Now free, you must engage with these remnants.

(Delving into the Inner) Shutting out outside influences can be difficult, especially for someone like me. In the presence of others, whether in person or just taking in others’ thoughts through any medium, I inadvertently take them into my mind allowing me to view their perceptions as if they’re part of me. It’s a blessing and a curse. On one hand, it leaves me very receptive to others and…