Kai is your cousin and he likes you.
(re-upload ‘Cousins’ on AFF 2018)
... Event the day has to give up for the night
You met him for the first time after a while when you were 19, and years after that it still amaze you how you’re actually cousins with him. Kim Jongin, national contemporer dancer who is very well-known.
You remember saw him dancing one day, when your parents brought to his show, he moved easy like a breeze, he caught your eyes since then.
He’s tall and handsome. He got you hooked by his smile but after know him more, his shy and adorable personality is what makes him even more interesting, but you know, you and him are just cousins.
But he’s always kind. His kindness and affections got you confuse sometimes. But it doesn’t stop you and him to be one of the closest cousins among the family.
He texted you one day, on your 24th birthday and got you a little present, he knew you just start your new studio as a interior designer after three years working at a big architecture studio.
He went to your office and adoring all the corner, saying that he envied every architect and interior expert because they will able to live in such a trendy places.
Your office occupied the second floor of a small two floor building in the city center. It has indoor area with enough sunlight from the glass wall, and it has a spacey outdoor area.
When he came to your office, you knew all of your workers—especially girls, are looking at him like somekind of delicious meals. He gave you a simple bouquet of flower he picked from the flower shop in the corner of the street. You knew because you walked pass it everyday, and he gave you a small air humidifier for the office.
You said thanks while gave him a light hug which he holds longer than you planned. You like his hugs because you’re taller than average girls and he obviously taller than you and you like how you burried inside his chest.
Yup, you and him got th good genes from the family. You both tall and attractive.
“Thought Kai was your boyfriend.” Joy, your friend said one day. Kai is his stage name.
“No, he’s a cousin.” You replied.
“No wonder you both got this similiarity based on looks.”
“Is he single? He’s very famous, I bet even idols wants to date him.” Joy continues.
“Maybe.” You shrugs, “but I think he’s single.”
Joy rubbed her chin, “do you ever think of having a cousin in law like me?”
You laughed then shouts no.
You only met him when there’s a family gathering or when you decided to go on his shows. And tonight you’re going to his shows with your other cousins. Your big family is very close to each other, you had annual holiday together, and often see each other during break. You just didn’t get to meet Kai for years because you study abroad and Kai also study abroad.
You got to the backstage and congartulates him in person, so were the other cousins. You kissed his cheek and he kissed you back, the whole family is usually do this cheek to cheek kiss but he always kiss you lip-to-cheek and you’re always okay with that, even tho that made your heart flutters.
Then a girl came closer and greet you all. Later he introduce her as his girlfriend. You didn’t pay attention to her name, all you knew was you got this strange pinch feeling in your heart.
You tried your best not to look upset because he was observing you longer than expected. And when the group picture happened, he was beside you, casually rest his arm on you shoulder and pull you closer.
You knew his girlfriend is looking.
Kai moved to another city when he was chosen as the core team for Modern Ballet and Contemporary competition. And whenever he’s back to Seoul he’ll contact you, just like tourist who asking for meeting old friend who is a local. But you always say yes to his invitation.
The meetings will only be dinner, daily life updates, exchanging jokes and laughter. Nothing more.
“Drive safe okay?” he said while walks you to the parking lot.
He patted your hair, “I’m going back to Osaka tomorrow.”
“Want me to drive you to the airport?”
“Okay, my plane is at 11 am, so… pick me up at 8?”
You nodded again and he pull you to a hug, “see you tomorrow morning.” He kissed the top of your head. And you feel an extra pound in your heart.
You wonder if he feels the same.
On the way to the airport he was talking about his girlfriend, because you asked. He said she’s a model, a someone he knew from a photoshot for a product. She’s sweet and nice, not to mentioned she’s tall because she’s a model.
“You like tall girls?” you asked while driving.
“Yes.” He nodded, “I think her height is same as yours.”
“Hahaha… are you obsessing with me?”
You instantly felt ashamed, why would you think that way about him? He’s your cousins and he might only see you that way while you’re accusing all his affections as an obsession. How embarassing!
“hahaha… no, no, sorry, I was just joking! Why are you stunned like that?!” you trying to sound casual.
He chuckled before joking, “I was almost fainting, thought how you found out that I’m obsessed with you.”
His relationship with his girlfriend looking stronger as he introduce her to his family and brought her to some family occasion. And you’re always be happy for him. Even tho you still didn’t really pay attention to her name and whatever she’s doing.
And then, right at the end of the winter you met this guy, he’s also tall and handsome, he’s a client from your old workplace, he met you again in an event and recognized you. And from the simple conversation, you both are getting closer, and early spring, he asked you to be his girl and you said yes.
Kai knew about it few months later during the family vacation, “how’s he? I really have to know him, I need to know if he’s good enough for you!” he said in a cute squinty eyes and you can’t help but squeeze his cheek and kiss it.
“You’re like the cutest baby brother ever!”
Yes, he’s one year younger than you.
Unexpectedly Kai is very close to your boyfriend, they talked about many things during their first meeting and Kai became your boyfriend favorite person among your other cousins.
“He’s a famous dancer but he’s so humble… did you know that his work out is running? Just like me.” You boyfriend said.
“Everyone’s work out is running.”
“But he ran for marathon, did you know that?”
“You ran for marathon?” you asked Kai one day when he stop by your house to see your older brother’s daughter.
He was playing with your niece and shook his head, “I did, one time, but gosh… my chest is about to explode! I hate running.”
You wonder why he’s trying hard to be close to your boyfriend.
“Hey, you gonna join the family summer holiday later?” he asked.
You nodded, “yeah, I think it’s a great moment to introduce my boyfriend to the whole family.”
Your family loves your boyfriend, he’s a nice guy, smart and settle. And he’s super easy going so everyone is having fun talking to him.
“His parents said he’ll be here tomorrow.” You said while lying beside him in the room you shared with him.
And the next day, just before lunch, you’re lazying around the bed while your boyfriend and the rest of the family is having a fun outdoor activity, you saw someone standing at your door way.
You lift your head and saw Kai.
“Hey, youuu…” you sat up but he threw himself to the bed beside you. You saw gloom on his face. “What’s up?”
You didn’t say anything for a while, “oh… no…” you murmured.
You let him lying on your arm while telling you why.
“I can’t blame her tho… it’s a hard long distance relationship, and also she met many other male models which way more good looking than me… nothing I can do about that.”
“Look at you,” you said, you’re super good looking too… tall and handsmome, you gotta meet someone new soon.” You pull him closer and he snuggle further.
“I want to have a girlfriend like you.” He mumbled and you knew your guard crumbled.
“Still obsessed with me?” you asked, this time, no joke on your voice.
He paused for a while before saying, “I’m always obsessed with you…”
Then the kiss happened, the forbidden kiss because, damn, he’s your mother’s sister son! Your closest cousins!
But his lips keep moving between yours, his palm creeping up caressing your cheek. It was soft and smooth, it was plumpy, it was going in rhythm…
Every cells inside your body grew but you refuse to awaken from this reverie. If it is. But you and him knew it was real.
After minutes of long kisses, where his hands keep holding you in a loving way, someone gotta break it before somebody else get into the cottage.
He’s staring at you in an odd way, a silent arguments heard inside your head, the pound in his chest transferred to you palm that still resting on his board chest.
You rose from the bed and made your way outside.
“I like you a lot.” He said.
And you didn’t replied. You walked really fast to meet your boyfriend.
Cousins, aunts, and uncles saying goodbye to each other. Warm hugs and promises to meet each other again fills the air. You hugged everyone except Kai because you didn’t saw him ever since. But when everyone starts entering their own car you saw him brought a small travel bag on his hand, a van parked in the parking lot and you saw his manager came out.
“You’re going back to Osaka right away?” you asked, your boyfriend heading to his car and it’s only two of you left.
He was looking at you, “Okay, see ya around.” He murmured and you tip toeing to reach out his cheek, kiss it like usual, a statement that nothing is changed.
He leaned down and kiss your cheek to before send you off to your boyfriend’s car.
“Was it something common in your family to kiss each other like that?” your boyfriend asked you.
“L-like what?” you can’t help but stutter because you’re afraid he might saw you two in the cottage.
“Like this.” He kissed your cheek and you chuckles, nervously chuckling but turn into something more relieve because he didn’t see you two in the cottage.
“Yup, that’s kind of… habit.” You replied, “we’re very close, me and all cousins are super close, you wouldn’t imagine.”
“But only Kai kissed you like that.” He said.
“Because…” you pretend to be busy changing the radio station so you got few seconds to think, “he’s like a baby. He was the only child in his family, he doesn’t have any siblings, and he spent his childhood practicing his skill… he practically lonely, so when we met and grew up together, he always think of me as his noona… and always asking me to baby him.” You smiles, hoping all the explanation make sense.
“Is it weird if I’m a bit jealous? I know he’s your cousin and he’s fun to be with… but he’s handsome like heck.”
You laughed, “yes, it’s weird to be jealous about him, he’s my baby brother.” And you remember the kiss you had with Kai yesterday. “a-and… he likes you like his own hyung.”
“Right.” Your boyfriend agreed and smiled.
I’m going to Osaka tomorrow.
You texted Kai and he called you.
“I’ll take you to the best restaurant!” his voice is cheerful as usual.
“I’m not going there for holiday, I have some sites to visit.” You replied.
“But you will have time to eat, won’t you?”
You chuckled, “of course.”
And the day came, you’re in Osaka working for a new project. You met Kai in your third day there, and as promised he brought you to a nice small restaurant.
“The katsu here is the best you’re gonna have.” He said.
And the conversations flow like it used to. He’s still smiling while looking at you talking, still telling you funny stories, his activities, and the hardships of being in core team of dancing competition.
No sign of girlfriends. Maybe he decided to be focus on his career first.
He drove you to your hotel and you know inviting him in is not a good idea. You might be overthinking but after what happened before, you can’t trust him and yourself.
“You usually invite me in.” he said after you tell him goodnight, “oh not only inviting me, but you usually told me to stay because you’re afraid sleeping in a new place.”
You can’t say anything because he was right.
“Is it because of what I did to you?” he asked, “you don’t have to worry that I’d kiss you again in the hotel room because I can kiss you anywhere if I want it, okay?” he sounds irittated.
“It’s not that,” you said, “it’s not only you I can’t trust, it’s also me.”
“So, you… like it too?” he asked.
You lift your gaze to his level, “yes, but we better leave it there because we can’t like it.”
“Yes.” You made your voice to be as assertive as possible.
He stop for a moment, “yeah, okay.”
Kai kissed your cheek longer than usual when he drove you to the airport, and hug you like he would never saw you again.
“I love you…” he murmured.
“You know I love you too.”
“I still hope you can love me as a man, not your baby brother…”
You pull yourself off of him and look up on him, “I loved you as a man… but,”
He tilt his head, looking confused.
“Everything has to give up on something.” You continued, “even the day has to give up for the night.” You reach his hand, “you’ll find someone exactly like you’ve been searching for… soon.”
“I hope everything going well between you and him.” He suddenly talk about your boyfriend, “he’s a good guy, I really like talking to him… he’s handsome, and head over heel over you… you’ll be happy with him.”
You couldn’t help but feel warm inside your eyes, “thank you.”
Your boyfriend proposed you few months after Osaka, and one year after, here you are, walking on the aisle in a pretty white dress, holding your father’s hand.
Wide smile decorating your face as you saw familiar faces, and stopped to the smiling face at the end of the pews. Kai.
Beside him is a beautiful girl, this time, you’re paying attention to her name because you like her. Her name is Krystal, and American-Korean singer he met at the opening of the Olympic, and yes, you were right, he met someone he’s been searching for in that girl. You could see it from the way he couldn’t stop talking about her when he called you, and you’re happy for him.
You smile at him and he gave you a thumb up. You both knew, that giving up doesn’t mean that your weak, it shows that you’re strong. And in this case, you’re just being true-to-life.
