#exo dad

I grab Bong Cha’s diaper bag from the back while Chanyeol takes the picnic bag. Adjusting the diaper bag over my shoulder, I reach for Miso’s leash.

“No, I got it.” Chanyeol takes both dogs’ leashes.

“Chanyeol, you’re already carrying the picnic bag and Ryung on your shoulders, I can take Miso.”

He shakes his head, “Nope, you have Bong Cha.” He leans in to give a kiss to our baby girl, who’s in and out of sleep, “I’ll take everything else.” He smiles before giving me a peck on the lips.

“Appa, Let’s go.” Ryung cheers, pulling on Chanyeol’s ears.

We find a spot in the park and sit. Chanyeol is running around, chasing after Ryung while the dogs followed suit. Bong Cha got hungry so I stayed sitting on the picnic blanket over the grass to breast feed her.

Ryung is running around in full speed until he trips and falls on all fours. Chanyeol is quick to reach for him. “Are you okay, Ryung?”

“It’s so much fun, appa.” He giggles clapping his hands with joy. The more I watch Ryung grow the more I notice how he’s becoming a mini happy virus like his dad. He over exaggerates when he laughs and hardly ever cries when he gets hurt. Instead, he laughs at his own pain.

Chanyeol takes a break to sit next to me while Ryung continues to play with Toben and Miso nearby. He leans in to rest his head on my shoulder, “How’s my little girl?”

Bong Cha is wide awake and looking up at her dad, “She’s done eating I just need to burp her.”

“Oh let me.” Chanyeol takes Bong Cha, giving my arms a rest.

He starts bouncing and patting her on the back until we both hear the most adorable burp which causes Chanyeol to burst out laughing almost every time, even when Ryung was a baby.

“That’s my girl.” He praises her with kisses all over her pudgy cheeks causing her to giggle.

“I swear, Chanyeol both of these kids are just clones of you. All I did was harboring them in my uterus.”

“Honey,” he leans in to give me his million dollar smile before kissing me, “all of your struggles are very much appreciated. I see a little bit of you in them every day that reminds me of that.”

When I was first pregnant with Ryung, I had some complications which caused me to become bedridden for the last month of my pregnancy. Chanyeol was just as scared as I was when I couldn’t move around. He stayed by my side the entire time. Delivering Ryung was just as bad, I was forced to have a C-section but it was worth it once we got to hold him. Bong Cha was much easier to give birth to.

“Eomma, Appa, I found a new friend.” Ryung comes running up to us with a stray Bengal cat in his arms.

“Ryung put that cat down now!” He places the cat down in front of him. I take his hand to pat his clothes down from the dirt that could be all over the cat’s fur.

“But Eomma,” He pouts looking down at the cat that’s rubbing up against his leg.

“Where did you come from little one?” Chanyeol asks reaching to pet the cat himself.

“Chanyeol, don’t touch the cat. It could have something.” I take Bong Cha from him and put her in the baby carrier.

Chanyeol picks the cat up, “She’s so skinny. She must be hungry.” The cat meows and start to licking his hands.

“I was playing with Toben by the tree and I heard it crying so I climbed the tree to get it down then it started following me. Can we keep her?”

I shake my head, “Oh no, we’re not taking her home.”

“But Eomma,” Ryung begs with his hands clasped together in front of his face.

Chanyeol kneels beside him with the cat in hand, “But Eomma.”

This is what I meant by my love for animals weren’t the same as Chanyeol’s. I feel sympathy for the cat for being homeless but we can’t take every stray we find on the street home.

“Chanyeol, you know we can’t take her home. She could have diseases that could infect the dogs.”

“I’ll take her to the vet ASAP, until then we’ll keep her separate from the dogs.” He presents the cat to me. “She’s just a baby.” Almost like she knows, the cat meows a little plea to take her with us.

I scratch her chin managing to hear her purr, “I guess we could take her in.”

“Yay,” they both cheer and dance with the cat in hand.

After a long day of running around and embracing our new pet cat, which we named Cho, she’s a pretty cat with gray and black fur. I warmed up to her over the course of the day.

The sun had already set once we got back to the car. On the way home, Ryung and Bong Cha were both asleep along with the dogs in the back seat. Cho was sleeping in Ryung’s lap. Chanyeol was playing some baby music he made himself for when Ryung was born to help him sleep. When Ryung was born we had a hard time getting him to sleep sometimes so we would drive around the neighborhood with the music on to help.

Chanyeol places his hand on my thigh, “I’ll go buy some cat food tomorrow.”

I scoff taking his hand, “Why are you such Mother Teresa of animals?”

“Thank you for supporting me. If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be able to give so much love to animals. You could’ve told me no and left it at that.”

“I know how much you love all kinds of animals and I love you for that. Ryung has love and respect for all animals because of you so how could I say no when he’s just as passionate as you are.”

“He’s like me. He has a whole lot of love to give.”

I turn to look at the backseat at Ryung sound asleep, “I know, but just promise me one thing.”

“Anything.”

He pushed past Jongdae and ran out into the narrow hallway, calling out the young boy’s name. “Eunwoo?!” he cried repeatedly, each call becoming increasingly distressed. The walls seemed to close in around him, it was a physical manifestation of the increasing feeling of hopelessness that was encasing his entire body, crushing his heart.

Chanyeol glanced around at the stage managers and directors that were scattered about the backstage area, each packing away a piece of equipment or talking amongst one another. He ran up to a makeup artist and anxiously asked, “Have you seen a toddler? HIs name is Eunwoo, he’s about this tall,” he explained, lowering his palm half a metre above the ground. The makeup artist shook her head and apologised before continuing to pack away her items into a large suitcase.

Chanyeol groaned in frustration and quickly spun on his heels. He looked towards another hallway and instantly bolted down, consequently running into two rigid bodies.

“Sorry,” blurted Chanyeol before continuing to run.

“Chanyeol, wait,” called a familiar voice. Chanyeol turned around faced the two men who turned out to be Sehun and Kyungsoo.

“What?” growled Chanyeol.

“The manager said that we’re leaving now, why are you going down there?” asked Sehun.

“Eunwoo’s missing!”

“What?” said Kyungsoo in slight disbelief.

“Oh so now you care about him? That’s a first,” quipped Sehun.

“Shut up,” snapped Chanyeol. “Have you seen him anywhere?”

“No,” replied Sehun and Kyungsoo simultaneously.

Chanyeol groaned. “Where could he be?!” whined Chanyeol running a hand through his hair.

“You know, maybe if you had treated him better, this wouldn’t have happened,” remarked Sehun condescendingly. That hit Chanyeol hard, Sehun was telling the truth and the truth hurt. Kyungsoo scolded the youngest member before calmly saying “We’ll help find him”. He and Sehun both walked away promptly.

Chanyeol sighed deeply and allowed time to recollect himself before continuing down the hallway until he reached the first unlocked room. He almost kicked down the door in his rush and scanned the room, repeatedly calling out the toddler’s name. The room was empty.

He proceeded to the next room, and the next, but they were all empty as well. Chanyeol’s heart sunk further, and each empty room anchored his feelings of regret and dejection.

“Chanyeol, we have a flight to catch,” remarked the group’s manager, interruption Chanyeol’s self-loathing. “We can get the security team to find him but we need to make this flight.”

“I’m not leaving without my son!” rasped Chanyeol, his voice cracking from his heightened emotions. Tears began to brim at his eyes as he verbally admitted what he had been denying for months.

As he made his way back into the main backstage area, he saw the rest of the members darting around, asking the staff if they had seen the child. Jongin sent Chanyeol an unconvincing smile of reassurance as Baekhyun could be heard belting out Eunwoo’s name from another section of the backstage area.

Chanyeol felt all hope drain from his body. What if Eunwoo had found his way out of the building and he was wandering the streets alone? What if a piece of equipment had fallen onto him and injured him? “Please,” begged Chanyeol under his breath. “Please God, no.”

Chanyeol made his way into a different section of the backstage area, one that wasn’t being used during the concert. He found an ajar door that opened to a staircase, supposedly leading up to the offices within the building. Chanyeol, who was now desperate, quickly bolted up the stairs, even though it was unlikely Eunwoo could’ve found his way to this area.

Tears began to cloud Chanyeol’s vision and his nose began to run. He wiped his face with the back of his hand and continued to glance into each dark room. The office at the furthest end had its lights on, and Chanyeol followed it like a disembodied soul chasing after The Light.

The door was ajar, and he reached for the handle, but the sound of a small voice stopped him. The voice was familiar, and it seemed to pry Chanyeol’s sunken heart from the depths of hopelessness. He remained quiet as he inched open the door, listening to what the voice was saying.

“…didn’t mean it. I’m sorry for stopping you from your dancing. You’re a really good dancer by the way. And a good singer.”

A tremendous wave of relief washed over Chanyeol’s shaken body as he spotted Eunwoo seated on the floor in front of a cardboard standee of himself. This office probably took care of all the promotional aspects of the concert as several standees of the other members were scattered throughout the room.

Chanyeol silently stepped closer to Eunwoo, who was still rambling.

“Mummy never sang any songs for me. She said that if I wanted someone to sing for me, then I should go find hyung. She also said that you weren’t handsome, but I think hyung is very handsome.” Eunwoo said that last part with a slight giggle.

Chanyeol felt his chest flood with endearment as he silently stood behind the toddler, listening to his every word.

“Even though you don’t like me, I still love you. I think hyung is a nice person, even though you get mad at me sometimes.” There was another long silence. “I should go now,” said Eunwoo to the Chanyeol standee. “Everyone will be wondering where I’ve been.” The child stood up to his feet and gave the standee a wave before turning around.

A sharp gasp sounded from Eunwoo as he saw the real Chanyeol standing behind him. There was a tense silence before Eunwoo spoke, “Hyung, you’re here?”

Chanyeol’s throat seemed to collapse. He was completely lost for words as he stared at the boy he had tried his best to ignore for months now. He wished he could take back every moment of it.

“Yah,” cracked Chanyeol, thinking of nothing better to say. “Do you know how many people are looking for you?”

Eunwoo shifted his eyes downward and jutted out his bottom lip. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

Chanyeol winced in pain at the sight of Eunwoo’s saddened face. The toddler’s cheeks were glossy, a clear indication that he had been crying. Eunwoo was a sweet and innocent child who meant no one harm. He was unfortunate enough to have been born into a broken family and having both parents reject him must’ve been unimaginably painful. Chanyeol scolded himself for not realising earlier, and for treating such an innocent being so poorly.

“It’s alright Eunwoo,” said Chanyeol. “No one’s mad at you.” The toddler didn’t look up, he instead shuffled his feet and nodded.

“Hey,” Chanyeol spoke softly. He crouched down onto his knees and levelled himself with Eunwoo. Chanyeol ground his teeth and swallowed, trying to piece together what he was going to say. Eunwoo finally looked up at him curiously.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” mumbled Chanyeol in a depressed voice. “And I’m sorry for treating you so badly.”

Chanyeol stopped thinking and simply spoke from the heart.

“I didn’t want to believe it at first so I just ignored you. I don’t know, I guess I was just scared, scared of the past. You’re mother, she…she broke my heart.” Tears pooled at his waterline and began to glide down his face. “I’m so sorry for everything Eunwoo, I was stupid. You’re a good kid and I shouldn’t have treated you like I did, even if you weren’t my…” he trailed off at the last word.

Chanyeol coughed and inhaled sharply, trying to form coherent sentences through his sobbing. He suddenly felt Eunwoo’s small hand on top of his head, gently stroking his hair. Eunwoo spoke up, his words piercing straight through Chanyeol’s swollen heart.

“Appa.”

Chanyeol froze, his crying momentarily ceasing.

“It’s ok Appa, don’t cry.”

Chanyeol glanced up at Eunwoo, and he smiled back at him. Chanyeol lost all control as he quickly pulled his son into an embrace, hugging him like there was no tomorrow. “My son,” sobbed Chanyeol into the boy’s shoulder as he held him tight. Eunwoo wrapped his own smaller arms around Chanyeol’s neck and squeezed back equally as hard. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” repeated Chanyeol.

“I love you,” mumbled Eunwoo into his chest.

“I love you too,” replied Chanyeol with the most genuine emotion he could muster.

A solid five minute passed before Chanyeol released Eunwoo from his embrace. He stood up and took the child’s hand into his. “Come on,” he said. “We’re going home.”

***

1 month later…

The joyous squeals of Eunwoo echoed through the house as Chanyeol playfully spun his around through the air. Uncontrollable laughter escaped from both of them as they finally stopped spinning.

“Again!” demanded Eunwoo excitedly.

Chanyeol sighed. “Appa is too dizzy, we should stop for a minute.”

“Aw, you’re no fun,” teased Eunwoo.

The sound of the front door opening was the next thing to be heard, followed by Baekhyun’s voice and the sound of eight pairs of feet entering Chanyeol’s house.

Eunwoo leapt up in joy and quickly ran towards the doorway just as Baekhyun appeared, quickly whisking the toddler up and into his own arms. “You missed me?” cooed Baekhyun, lightly pinching the smiling boy’s cheeks.

Chanyeol beamed at his son and the affection the rest of the members had for him. He spotted Junmyeon in the doorway, beckoning him. Chanyeol stood and followed him into the kitchen.

“You missed practice again this morning, the manager isn’t going to be happy,” said Junmyeon, although, his tone didn’t indicate any sort of disappointment. “You know, Eunwoo has a nanny for a reason. She can look after him.”

“Yeah but, I feel like I need to make up for lost time,” he explained.

“Fair enough. Eunwoo seems a lot happier nowadays.” Chanyeol grinned at that statement. “Have you thought about what you’re going to do about his mother?”

Chanyeol scrunched his eyebrows together. “Hwayoung doesn’t deserve him. She sent Eunwoo to me, and I intend to love him and care for him.”

“She could ask for custody if she wants him back.”

“Then she’ll have to go through me.”

Junmyeon smiled and nodded approvingly. “I’m proud of you Chanyeol. You’ll make a great dad.”

Chanyeol thanked Junmyeon, and for the first time, he truly felt like his life was complete as he looked at his son and his pseudo brothers surrounding him and supporting him. His family was now complete.