#ex-con reader

You were a Decepticon. A mean one at that.

Not the 'taking pleasure in your pain' type but the more 'detached with life and wouldn't hesitate' type. You were alright with it, having grown emotionless after a while in the war.

But after Megatron's call to end the war, you weren't beginning to be alright. Now, you were forced to face the consequences of your actions and there was nothing to keep your mind busy. You couldn't work, do maintenance on your rifles and there wasn't any need to kill anymore.

You couldn't help but feel a void beginning to form in your chassis.

It was strange that after all you did the Autobots didn't execute you after your trial. You think you were spared most likely because of the fact that Starscream liked you. But not enough for you to be free.

Instead, here you were with your 'Lord' now turned Co-captain: Megatron on the lost light

You avoided each other, both of you isolated in a ship fill of Autobots. Megatron took the brunt of the hatred that the bots had, they just ignored you, luckily.

The only person you spoke with was Cyclonus and that was hardly a full conversation. He would try to make you want to get 'better' and 'redeem' yourself.

Instead you felt the void grow bigger.

You didn't refuel or leave your habsuite for cycles, the Autobots noticed this. Rodimus, being the good prime he was, decided he'd visit you.

You were facing the door, sitting on a chair when it opened. Rodimus was a bit taken back it seemed. He didn't expect you to be there, in front of him.

You moved your optics to look at him, straight in the eyes.

"Heyy buddy— what's going on?" He tried to be chipper to you.

The void, in you, continued to grow.

"C'mon, what's up?" He tried again to pry.

Your response was simply to stare at him.

You could see his facade crack a tiny bit. You grinned and shot off at him. Your hands wrapped around his neck and you pushed hik against your habsuite wall.

"Agh! " Rodimus grunted.

It wasn't long before his hands were trying to pry your hands off him, you weren't strangling him. But obviously he wouldn't trust an Ex-decepticon.

Blue optics gazing into your red optics

He was about to speak before you felt yourself be tugged back and thrown.

Quickly you got up and sneered at the mech who did that. It was Megatron.

You couldn't help but feel angry, because of him, you had this void in you. This undying nothingness that plagued you every cycle.

"(Y/N), stand down!" He barked at you. You felt rage but his commands were so ingrained into your helm, that you stood down.

But that didn't stop your intake.

"Oh? The great and glorious Megatron saving an Autobot? What has the world come to— do you not remember your cause."

You could feel his rage begin but that didn't stop you.

"I believed in you once upon a time, I was ready to die for your future but now we are here... In this Primus forsaken ship.—" you paused "You disappointed every one of us"

"What are you trying to do (y/n)?"

You expected him to hit you, shot you, kill you but no, he asked what was wrong.

You hated this.

But he was right, what were you trying to do?

You groaned.

"I want to go back to war" You muttered. You lowered your optics to the floor.

Megatron could only pity you.