#ex x reader

°⭒₊ synopsis: rage baiting your ex-boyfriend after a breakup is probably a bad thing. not that you care. but when getting back at him turns into you asking your best friend to pretend to be your boyfriend at a party, you soon realize that maybe your heart has belonged to someone else all along.

°⭒₊ pairing: ex boyfriend x toxic!reader x dorky!best friend! °⭒₊

°⭒₊ wc: 3.6k (there will be a pt 2)

°⭒₊ content: fluff and smut. fem reader. bathroom sex. reader is toxic and insane (do not do anything she does). denial of feelings. jealousy. unhealthy relationship dynamics. fake dating. secret pining. being bent over the bathroom counter at a party. not cumming LMFAOOOO.

PATREON PREVIEW BELOW

“Did you fucking pay some guy to show up at my work and claim he was my lover yesterday?” 

“No,” you scoffed, crossing your legs underneath the table as you brought your coffee up to your lips. 

Your coworker actually did it for free. 

All you had to do was get fake STD results printed for him to wave around angrily and swear that he’d given him gonorrhea in front of half of his office. 

“God, what the hell do you want from me?” Your ex-boyfriend glared at you, throwing the paper at you as you shrugged your shoulders. 

“Nothing,” you hummed, picking your purse up off the floor and tilting your head to the side. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

“Yeah, right,” he sarcastically grumbled, gritting his teeth as he slid into the booth across from you. “You always want something.” 

“I moved on,” you half-lied, apathetically dragging your eyes across from his unfortunately still-toned body. His crisp button-up was clinging to his chest, an expensive watch wrapped around his wrist, his sleeves all rolled up to draw your attention to his veiny forearms. “You should really do the same.” 

You didn’t really want to date him again. 

But rage baiting him was your favorite hobby. 

Why should you give up something that gives you joy? 

“You’re insane,” he accused, brows scrunching together all tight. 

“Says the guy who is clearly stalking me and showing up when I’m trying to eat my breakfast in peace,” you retorted, lazily shrugging your shoulders as your eyes swept past him to the previously quiet cafe you enjoyed the pastries from. A few other people were staring, whispering between each other as they eyed the two of you together. 

But you couldn’t quite bring yourself to care. 

All attention was good attention in your book. 

“You eat here every day,” he snapped. “And you're still sharing your location with me.” 

“Oops,” you hummed, pulling your phone out of your pocket and scrolling through your contacts before hesitating over his name. But you had to follow through, clicking a few times to turn off sharing despite the fact you’d deliberately left it on before. “I thought I had you blocked.” 

“Do you really expect me to believe that?” He deadpanned, chin tilting down as he attempted to stare through your soul like it would get you to admit your even a single instance of your wrongdoing. 

“I don’t know what you expected me to say,” you chirped, finishing off the last sip of your coffee before standing. 

“Were you trying to get me fired?” He demanded to know, all indignant and frustrated as he followed you over to the trash can.

“If I wanted to get you fired, I’d fuck your boss,” you argued back. 

“I don’t think she’s into women,” he casually countered, lips pinched together as he shook his head in sheer disbelief. He could act all he wanted, but you could see the hard on through his slacks, the bulge that was certainly not work appropriate clearly outlined. 

“So?” 

That had never really been a problem for you before. 

Women, men, who wouldn’t fuck a crazy bitch? 

All it took was fluttering your lashes the right way and coaxing them with a few soft words and tender touches, pressing your palm against their chest and purring their name, and they were yours.  

Just like he still was. 

“Well, it didn’t work,” he snapped, as if you were supposed to be upset about it. Did he want you to act like some cartoon villain mourning over a ruined plan? 

What you really wanted was to annoy him.  

A great success in your books judging by the irritation etched into his harsh features. 

“It sounds like you’re not over me if you automatically assumed I had something to do with it,” you pointed out, arching up an eyebrow. 

“I assume it’s you because I know you,” he sharply retorted. 

Fair enough. 

It was far from the craziest thing you’d done to him. Didn’t really compare to the time you called his mom and cried to her that he’d cheated on you with her best friend. Or when you posted his address on craigslist promising he was giving away all of his furniture and mentioning where his spare key was kept. 

In your own defense though, he had pissed you off prior. Who the hell turned their phone off during boys' night? Or conveniently forgot to text you back after leaving for the weekend to visit his family?

Honestly, you had been sorta surprised he didn’t dump you after all of that. 

But no, the straw that broke the camel’s back was less dramatic. 

One of his friends posted a photo of him at a bar, a girl smiling by his side in the background – and you promptly responded by going out and posting one of your own with a guy gripping your waist.

It wasn’t like you made out with him. Or fucked him. 

But instead of your typical blowout fight, he had the audacity to just block you. And okay, he unblocked you two days later, but the damage was done. You’d cut out all most of the parts of him from your heart. Gone through the five stages of grief the second he had the audacity to make you feel embarrassed for loving him. For making you feel desperate for his attention. 

Still, were you supposed to just let it go?  

Him and the disrespect? 

Accept your (on-and-off again) boyfriend of four years dumping you via telepathy? Assuming it was over because the only way he expected you to contact him at first was via email? 

Even you wouldn’t stoop that low. 

Could he really blame you for getting creative in your…retaliation? 

“I’ve got better things to do than wait around coming up with ways to fuck with you,” you sighed, starting towards the door with him still on your tail. 

“Like what?” He retorted. 

“For your information, I am seeing someone,” you lied. 

“Oh yeah?” His mouth twitched down, and perhaps it was, ah, self-centered, and certainly a little delusional, but you were sure you detected a hint of jealousy in that clenched jaw and annoyed scowl of his. 

“Mhm,”  you murmured, determined to win this game of nonchalance no matter what you had to say to sell it. 

“You’ve got a new boyfriend?” He pressed, as if he couldn’t comprehend someone could be crazy enough to date you. 

“Did you lose like twenty IQ points since we broke up?” You scoffed, tilting your head to the side. “I already said yes.” 

“Why don’t you bring him Saturday then?” He snarkily asked. 

Shit.

FULL FIC ON PATREON HERE (also features a wide assortment of other oneshots/series!)

✧ warnings: obsessive yandere behavior, stalking, nsfw content, cheating, angst, creep behavior, jealousy, grabbing, sexual acts

✧ a/n: you guys wanted both the yan royalty and yan cheater so imma do both ‼️ i’ll post the royalty one later cause you guys are in for a treat

not proofread but enjoy! (ty for the love on the last post as well <3)

part 1 - part 2 - part 3

cheater bf who sleeps with your friends behind your back. it’s not like you were anything special anyway, he just tolerated you so he could get closer to some real women

cheater bf who makes you beg for the bare minimum: giving you his jacket, holding your hand during a scary movie, etc etc but does all those things for your friends with a charming smile

cheater bf who says you’re overreacting after he holds your friends hand during a scary movie instead of yours

“hey don’t be selfish, poor girl looked like she was gonna cry. what kinda friend are you?”

you miss the way his fingers trailed up her thighs halfway through the movie when you squeeze your eyes shut. terrified of the unfolding movie scene as your bf comforts another girl

cheater bf who has fucked your roommate in your dorm room bed. oh you’re asking why they look sweaty and tired? they were trying to move your bed cause she dropped something behind it ofc.

cheater bf who finally gets caught a year into your relationship after you walk in on him mid-thrust into your ‘friend’ after they both excused themselves to the bathroom during your hangout.

cheater bf who zips up his pants and runs after a sobbing you to explain but stops half way, what was there to explain anyway? you would be heartbroken yes, but he had got what he wanted didn’t he? ignoring the dull tug on his heart he returns to his dorm

ex bf who throws himself on his bed while thinking about you. finally he picks up the lingering sent of you on his bed and various items that belong to your littered across the room. little gifts to him and cards wishing him happiness. maybe you’d become more intertwined in his life than he thought

ex bf that drops your stuff at your new dorm in a cardboard box, unluckily for you, you open it at the same time and are left staring at each other. like a cat you quickly dart out, grab the box, and retreat after locking the door can’t you just look at him once?

ex bf who feels empty after your breakup, he misses your cooking, your nagging for him to take care of himself, your smiles. fuck. what was the point of being free to fuck whoever he wanted if all he could imagine was you?

ex bf who stalks your socials, irritated that you removed him from your posts and blocked him on everything. and one day when he’s on his burner stalking you, a new story pops up. it’s innocent enough, a picture of you at dinner with a small caption “dinner out”, but then he notices the masculine hand on the table across from you wearing a watch not quite made for a woman.

his blood is boiling. you’re his. his girl.

yandere cheater who scours his room for anything that reminds him of you, finally finding a shirt in the back of his closet that he didn’t find earlier. suffocating his face with the soft fabric, moaning as he sniffed the garment

yandere cheater who hurriedly ruts into his hand as he hold the fabric up to his nose, cock leaking as he fucks his hand to your scent. he cums hard, harder than he had with any of your bimbo ‘friends’

yandere cheater who finally realized what he was missing: you. he caves in and incessantly messages and calls you, showing up at your door to win back your love.

yandere cheater who grows tired, he’s always been impatient. he knows what he did was wrong, especially to an angel like you but everyone deserves a second chance right? after all you were his soulmate

yandere cheater who shows up at a cafe you’re at and sits across from you like nothing is wrong. when you get up to leave, he forces you back into the seat. whispering in your ear to not make a scene. pulling out his phone he reveals intimate pictures of you from your relationship.

“it would be a darn shame if anyone saw these hm? your poor mom would be so disappointed that her dear daughter was just passing these around”

your eyes widen and you beg him to delete them, you’ll do anything!

“just come back to me and all these will be gone”

he grins, to wide to be kind. he wouldn’t send them out anyway. your body was his alone to see. but fuck did it have a effect on you, your big eyes fill with caution.

“please there must be-“ he cuts you off.

“there’s no other way than back to me sweets”

once you shakily get up, he throws his arm over your shoulder, keeping you pinned to his side as you both leave the coffee shop. your hot coffee long forgotten on the table as the chilly air hits your faces. your body further fills with despair as you pass the ally next to the shop, spotting the date you were going to meet. face bloodied and body limp against the red brick.

your ex was always far stronger than you, far stronger than anyone else you had met too. his dedication to martial arts was one of the things that had drawn you to him. but now, his vice grip on you as he guides you to his car isn’t to prove his strength to protect you. it’s to intimidate you into giving in to him

and if you didn’t, there would be consequences.