#evolutionary nonsense

So for those of you that don’t know, cetaceans (dolphins, whales, porpoises, etc) used to be... not that. Because evolution. And you also probably know that all life started out in the ocean, or at least were told that in school even if you don’t believe it.

So really, really early on, cetaceans were bony fish. And then life figured out how to Arm and Leg and Lungs, and eventually we got this:

Yes, indeed, that is a Very Early Cetacean. So they hung out on land for a while, doing Small Weird Rat Things, hunting and having babies. And eventually, Because Reasons, they started thinking about going in the ocean again. And then they turned into this:

I do not like looking at this thing, because it looks like some sort of fucked-up cryptid. However, this is sort of a proto-whale. And relevant to this. So here, I curse you with Protocetus, literally “first whale” because biologists highkey can’t actually name things, it just sounds fancy and pretentious because we’re using Latin.

And Protocetus continued to do Ocean Things for a long time, and then we sort of had a whale/dolphin that actually Looks Correct, called Basilosaurus. 

Which evolution eventually polished into this:

And this:

(Behold, a bastard)

And in case you don’t believe me, which is probably fair, because we went from a weird rat thing to dolphins and whales, your proof lies in the skeleton