#evilronaldweasley

Harry’s *Point of View*

“Don’t worry Percival, I’m not really friends with Potter, I’m just pretending” said a voice.

My so-called best friend, Ronald was discussing some very shady business with two of his siblings in the boys dormitory.  Unbeknownst to Ronald, I was hiding in the wardrobe, under my invisibility cloak.

I wanted to leap out of there and surprise them, but my instincts told me not to.  At least, not yet anyway, so I stayed put, and put my hand over my mouth so that I wouldn’t give away my advantageous location. I listened intently.

“Good.” said Percival

“Father wants you to encourage Ginevra to get close to the idiotic brat.  You see, he want’s Potter’s fortune.  The only way he is going to get it is if Ginevra marries the little shit.” he concluded.  

“WHAT?” Ginevra shrieked.

“Gin, don’t worry.  All you have to do is persuade him to marry you, knock you up, leave you and the child everything in his will and then he’ll have a ‘Quidditch accident’ and die and you’ll get his money and we can live like kings!”

I heard Ginevra take a deep breath and then she shrieked

“I WON’T DO IT I WON’T I WON’T! I DON’T WANT TO BE LADY POTTER I DON’T WANT TO BE LADY POTTER I WON’T I WON’T DO IT I WON’T I WON’T!”

I chose that moment to leap silently out of the wardrobe, punched Percival in the nose, kicked Ronald as hard as I could in the ‘nards, before I turned to Ginevra and said “I WOULDN’T MARRY A FILTHY DIRTY DISGUSTING BRUTAL BOTTOM-FEEDING TRASHBAG HOOOOOOOO LIKE YOU IF YOU WERE THE LAST WITCH… NO THE LAST WOMAN ON EARTH.” Ginevra looked appropriately scandalised. Someone hissed “NOW” and the “boy’s dormitory” vanished and all of a sudden I was in The Great Hall at dinnertime.   Several hundred stunned faces took in the scene before them.

“BESIDES WHICH I’M GAY.  I AM COURTING SOMEONE AND I AM VERY HAPPY, AND BY THE WAY GINEVRA, YOU CAN TELL ARTHUR AND MOLLY THAT HARRY POTTER IS ON TO THEM AND THEY WILL GET THEIRS IN DUE TIME.” I roared.  I didn’t care if The entire Great Hall or the entire wizard world heard me.  I would not tolerate being treated like a puppet anymore. “Arthur isn’t our father” said Percival in a muffled voice, he was trying unsuccessfully to stem the flow of blood from his nose where I hit him.

“Ronald, Ginevra and I are Dumbledore’s kids” “Congratulations Percival, you have just succeeded in making my wrath a hundred thousand times worse! I am going to deal with this and neither of your parental units will know what hit them!”

“What are you going to do?” Percival whimpered,

“As if I’d tell YOU that” I spat venomously.  

Hermione had heard everything.  She came over to me and said “Harry, I’m afraid it gets worse… Dumbledore paid the three of them to befriend us, Draco told me that this morning and Fred and George verified it.  and that’s not all, Harry sit down, I am about to drop a bombshell”

“Not here, let’s go and see Severus.  You can tell us both at the same time.”

“OK, good idea”

We got up… I kicked Ronald in the nuts again and glared at Dumbledore, “You rotten old goat, you’ll get yours.” I hissed and Hermione and I turned and walked out of The Great Hall and went down to see Severus.

“Harry” he said “What’s the matter?”

“Oh nothing… except that Ronald betrayed me and Hermione has something worse than that to tell us”

“Let’s sit down” Severus suggested and he summoned an elf to bring us refreshments.  

“OK Hermione, go on, tell us”

“Well… Draco, Fred and George confirmed this earlier… Harry, Lily Evans was not your mother.  Dumbledore used the Imperius curse to hoodwink her into believing that she was married to James Potter and was your mother, but she wasn’t.  You’re not an only child either, you’re a twin.  Remus and Sirius are your biological parents and… we went to Malfoy Manor and spoke with Lucius and Narcissa.  Draco is your twin brother.  Lucius is infertile because Rodolphus Lestrange hit him with a curse when he was fourteen years old.  It was the Avada Maxima Curse.”

“So… Dudley isn’t really my cousin?” “Yes he is, you’re just not related to muggles that’s all.  Dudley is Nymphadora Tonks little brother, he was kidnapped and put into another situation as well.”

“Dumbledore?” “Dumbledore”

I took a moment to attempt to digest that.  I was absolutely reeling.  I felt Severus squeeze my shoulder.

“Is my name really Harry Potter?” “No, it’s Perseus-Orion Black-Lupin” said Hermione “and Draco’s real name is Romulus-Xerxes Black-Lupin.”

“oh… so my whole worthless life is a total and utter lie?”

“Perseus, this changes nothing between you and I”

“Are you sure Sev? You fell for someone who is basically a lie”

“It gets worse” said Hermione “Dumbledore did the same thing to me.  I’m not an only child either.  He stole me from my parents as well… and my big sister.  My mother is Professor McGonagall and my father… is Tom Marvolo Riddle.  I’ve never even met him.  My sister is… or rather was lead to believe that she was Bellatrix Black-Lestrange.  A person that doesn’t even exist.  My real name is Natasha-Jane Riddle and my sister’s name is Persephone Rose Riddle.  Tom Riddle is the real Headmaster of Hogwarts.”

“Where is your father?” I asked “Perseus I have a bombshell of my own to drop on you.  Tom Riddle is the real Headmaster of Hogwarts. He raised me.  He didn’t adopt me — but he raised me after my bastard muggle father Tobias Snape murdered my mother Eileen Prince in front of me and Lily, he was sent to jail for a really long time. He raised Lucius as well.  He’s Lucius’s godfather.”  

The Floo rang, snapping us all out of our reverie.  It was Mrs Malfoy.

“Cissy? what’s the matter? Come through”

“Lucius is not himself Severus and I am worried.” “How can we help?”

“We need to find Tom” “I’m already on that” said a voice from the door”

“Metatron?” “Yes Severus it’s me.”

“Is Tom OK?” “Yes he’s fine, Serendipity is helping him explain everything to Minerva and to fix things with her.”

“Find Draco, Fred and George, then I need you to bring Lucius through”

“OK”

“What about revenge?” “Don’t worry Perse. We’ll get Dumbledore.”  

Metatron gathered everyone in Sev’s living room with a flick of his hand.

“We all know the truth now so it’s revenge time”

“Let’s form our own Mafia”

“OK Perse”

“I WANT PUBLIC REVENGE”

“Yes, so do I” said Romulus “Let’s hit Dumbledore where it hurts the most… his vaults at Gringotts!”

“Funny, I thought I heard him groan when I kicked his son Ronald in the nuts earlier tonight” I said with a sly grin.  

“You kicked Ronald in the nuts?” asked Lucius

“Yes.  He deserved it too.” I concluded “Hell, I should probably have aimed a crucio down there as well but oh well”

“Damn I wish Rodolphus Lestrange hadn’t been kissed the day after he attacked me.  I’d have loved some revenge” “I kicked him in the nuts after you were taken to the Infirmary” Narcissa admitted.

“That’s my witch!”

All of the males in the room, except for Metatron winced when Narcissa admitted to that.

“What?” said Metatron “I’m as anatomically impaired as a Ken Doll.”

“Next time I see Dumbledore I’m going to kick him there while wearing a steel toe-capped boot!” said Lucius

Everyone including Metatron shuddered at that!”

“Right… it’s show time… come on follow my lead.  I am forming my own mafia”

“Let’s go and give Dumbledore his comeuppance!”

We went upstairs.  Arthur was waiting for us.  He was furious.  

“Molly just told me every little thing that she’s done.  I’ve had her arrested and…” He collapsed, foaming at the mouth and twitching.

Severus sprang to action, took a phial of purple potion out of his pocket, added some of Arthur’s blood to it and cast a Timer charm.  After three minutes the potion turned a sickly yellow colour.

“He’s been poisoned” said Sev.  he conjured a stretcher and he and Lucius took Arthur to St Mungo’s but it was too late.  Arthur died not long after arriving at the hospital.  Lucius and Severus came back just as Sirius and Remus arrived at Hogwarts.  I had contacted them.  They performed a blood adoption ceremony, adopting Arthur’s four boys — Charlie, Bill, Fred and George.  Molly screamed and yelled but was ignored

“YOU ABUSED THOSE BOYS MOLLY PREWETT! YOU IGNORED THEM. YOU TREATED THEM LIKE A BURDEN” Sirius yelled “THEY ARE NO LONGER YOURS.”

“You’re just in time I’m about to take care of the goat problem” I told Remus “By forming my own mafia”

“I knew letting you watch The Godfather was a bad idea Harry” he said. I ignored him.

“Dumbledore isn’t going to know what has hit him”

Several hours later, Severus and I were cuddling on the couch, Sirius and Remus were sitting cuddling on the other couch.  A loud shrill scream was heard coming from Dumbledore’s office.  I had asked Dobby to leave him a little gift on his bed.  Obviously he found it.

“What did you do?” “Oh nothing, I had Dobby leave a horse’s head in Dumbledore’s bed.”

Everyone gasped and Severus said,

“Remind me never to cross you Perse"  

The next morning, As I entered the Great Hall, Dumbledore stood up.

“If it’s a war you want Mr Potter” he sneered,

“It is a war you shall have.”

I walked right up to him and slapped him right across his wrinkled old face as hard as I could. “MY NAME IS NOT HARRY POTTER YOU EVIL OLD GOAT! THE HORSE’S HEAD WAS JUST THE BEGINNING OF MY REVENGE… I AM GOING TO WREAK A TERRIBLE VENGEANCE UPON YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.  YOU WILL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS”

I clicked my fingers and Lucius gave him The Kiss of Death before I clicked my fingers again and the Aurors flooded in led by Amelia Bones.

“Albus Percival Wolfric Brian Dumbledore, you are under arrest for embezzlement, fraud, kidnapping, endangerment of minors and impersonating a ministry appointed official” she said.

All kinds of merry hell broke loose…