#everything grows

Hey again, everyone!

First, thanks to everyone that has been trying to help me recover Synchronicity. I've got it all now and have a good method of getting it posted back to AO3. That one is the hardest one because the only place I had it posted was AO3 and I wrote most of that before I switched from Microsoft Word to Google Docs.

As for other stories (Everything Grows, Speed Date, Etc) they'll be back, too and are much easier to recover since they're still hanging out on my FF.net account.

This sense of urgency to give something humanity never gave me

The thing was, I’ve never wanted to receive anything, I just wanted people to allow me to give them my love

I wanted to cause a change

I want to cause a change

I will cause a change

Maybe I’ve done things wrong

Maybe I’ve said things that shouldn’t even have been thought

Maybe all the maybe’s add up, and destroy how much I’ve preached love

The thing is..I’m not perfect, I have flaws

I recognize them

I work on them

Things take time, things take love

I believe the world expected me to be “perfect”, because they perceived me that way

How? Why would they would think I’m “perfect” when they all hate me?

Well..they think I’m “perfect” at first, because of the things I say or do, they like me for a certain amount of time

Then they see my flaws

They see I’m really not perfect at all, I’m just simply..kind

It doesn’t mean I’ve reached “perfection” or “superiority” that’s just stupid, I’m just another human

I hate that people feel so insecure, they shouldn’t, I hate that they compare themselves to me

Or that they think I’m always trying to be “too perfect”

I don’t try to be anything, I show what I am, and they don’t realize, they also have that potential

Maybe even more

They are so mesmerizing, I love humanity

I just hate how they don’t allow themselves to be seen for what’s real

I understand them though

I also try to be my “best version”, but that doesn’t mean I’ll always be kind, it doesn’t mean I don’t fall apart

I break, I break a lot

I break for others

I’ve broken, because I didn’t love myself

I didn’t love what I saw in the mirror

I thought I was my vessel

I thought I was just a body

I’m far more than that

I’m a whole galaxy

I was given the most rare heart, I’m one of a kind, but that’s also my curse..in someway divine

Even the people who misunderstand me now, have said it before

The thing is..everyone recognizes my beauty

People seek for things to be a certain way forever though

“You’ll never find the same person twice, not even the same person”

People change, people either grow or don’t

But they are never exact

Life is about evolving, changing

I actually used to be so terrified of it

I hated change

I hated how things fall apart at the worst times

How things don’t stay the same

I loved people though, I loved seeing them grow

That made me realize, life was also just as beautiful as humanity

Life was a gift given to us after all

Sometimes things fall apart, because they had to

The lesson had to be made

Sometimes things fall apart, but that doesn’t make them less beautiful

Sometimes things change, but a change doesn’t mean they’re not the same, it means they evolutionized

Life is a journey

Maybe it can sometimes be seen as “purgatory”

I believe we see it that way, because we don’t like acknowledging things

We don’t like breaking

We don’t like hurting

But hurting proves we’re real

Hurting, crying, screaming shows how much we really feel

Of course we need to learn to moderate these emotions, sometimes they can break things

I’m still learning

I’ll always be learning, just like everyone else

Humanity is beautiful, it’s gorgeous

It has me mesmerized, I’ll never get tired of it

Humanity also has shattered itself, please let yourselves shine

You’re so much more than your bodies, all your vessels are so gorgeous, but your hearts, your hearts were once pure

Please give your inner child a chance

Let yourselves shine

I promise things will be alright

I won’t ever give up on you guys

I won’t leave you to die

I’m going to give what everyone was to afraid or lazy to provide

I’m “Tokyo3smëe”, but you guys are in my hearts, call me “Es”

I’m your blue princess, who adores you without needing you to give me reasons

I see you, I hear you

I love you, I admire you

You are such a preciously divine creation

Continue shining🩵

TBRainbow Alert: Historical Fiction

Any Old Diamonds by KJ Charles (Published)

Lord Alexander Pyne-ffoulkes, the younger son of the Duke of Ilvar, holds a bitter grudge against his wealthy father. The Duke intends to give his Duchess a priceless diamond parure on their wedding anniversary—so Alec hires a pair of jewel thieves to steal it.

The Duke’s remote castle is a difficult target, and Alec needs a way to get the thieves in.…

So not sure if you’re into Nicholas Sparks, but I read “Counting Miracles” awhile back and when I saw the line “Look what our love has made,” it made me think of the epilogue of “Everything Grows” when Katniss is holding Zuri and she says “Look at what we made Peeta” to him. I still reread it all these years later. I hope you are well!

Hello! I’ve not read this, but I love it so much! I completely forgot I wrote a line like that in Everything Grows so thank you for that reminder. That story still means so much to me and I’m really glad that it still resonates with folks all these years later and is good enough for re-reads!

I’m doing well, just so busy with life and work these days. I hope you’re well too!

Take care!