#even ground

Look at me be a real narcissist and read my own stories, jeez. But see I found a new comment on Even Ground and I decided to go pop in to reply to it and see how the story was in the meantime as I was already there. I can't believe it's been like 3 years since I made it. Time really flies! Now I'm finishing my uni degree, a nightmarish three years I didn't think would ever happen to me, and back then, three years ago, I was so happy. I was so happy writing this story.

But anyway, as I got to the last chapter, oh... I hate myself. Why the FUCK did I write an ending like that? It doesn't matter it's an "alternative" ending if you read it and you have it existing painfully in your mind for all eternity. Anyway, I just wanted to say if you read that chapter and you got through it, you're a real trooper honey! Here's some a hot cocoa for you, you hang in there kitten.

John and Bruce are a'okey, don't ya worry, just a sleeping together in a cloud of loving whiteness and purity, finally together, safe and happy. Nothing can harm them anymore.

Yeah...

That's what's up over here. How are you?

Secretariat wasn’t a terrible looking animal, in fact he’s the only racehorse I ever actually liked haha he had a solid structure, a bit long in the neck but that’s pretty typical for a TB. I’d have to have a list of “famous” horses to determine which one I feel is built best. In the meantime look at this gorgeous specimen that was sent to me a few weeks ago

So uh, the last chapter (the alternate ending) of even ground, chapter twenty-six, is here. Yeah. Here it is now. Finally, yet, unfortunately.

I also thought about possibly killing Bruce in Even Ground. However, I don’t see anybody else killing him except Joker y’know and then him killing himself right afterwards or something. So no, not for this fic.

Anyway, I reckon some of you might feel like I only have a soft spot for John/Joker but actually I really feel for Bruce as well. He’s a real sweetheart despite all the shit he has had to go through in his rough life. Think about it – all those tragedies and all those punches laid on him as he just tries to make his home a better place for everyone. There’s no way he doesn’t take some of that negativity targeted towards him in himself and feeling conflicted about what he’s doing and if it’s really the right way. He dresses as a Bat after all, there has to be a sturdy moral behind a decision and dedication like that.

And he’s so very pretty too! Influential, wealthy, well-mannered and more than anything, emphatic despite all of the hardships he has already gone through and the traumas he’s collected on the way. The people he’s surrounded by can’t help but take advantage of that and at times he can’t help but give.

Bruce’s whole life is a real tragedy if you look at it from a certain angle, just wrapped in gold (I think they display this fairly well in the Gotham series). Everyone thinks his life is so beautiful and wonderful when it’s just the facade to the sad and steadfast truth.

Yet Bruce will never become corrupt (that’s why I’m not a fan of Snyder’s films) as those tragedies have also acquainted him with pain he knows he could never let, never mind make, anyone else suffer through. However, that also makes him terribly vulnerable as it makes him stronger than everyone else.

Alfred knows what Bruce’s life is like and tries his best with him but also finds himself sometimes maybe enjoying the ride as well or on the other hand not liking at all and being too judgmental about it due to the lack of knowledge to Bruce’s passion making it easy for him to misunderstand his motives and get in the way in some ways. 

That’s why Joker has become rather exceptional. I think he sees all of that in Batman, he sees behind the cowl in his own way. Yet his willing to accept it entirely but also show Bruce all the wrongs about his right to make a point about how crazy this whole damn world is and that Bruce is a part of the madness as much as Joker loves it and wears it like the Bat wears his cowl. Due to his unrelenting willingness to take Batman as a whole, and in turn Bruce as well, only the Joker Bruce is ready to hear about the different shade of truth he doesn’t usually wear himself. However Bruce doesn’t necessarily believe him at first or will admit to ever understanding. But there’s a connection between them nevertheless, and so as long as Bruce wants to play the hero, Joker will play his assigned part as his perfect villain. 

this like, my usual updating schedule so now you know how bad I am at this. but honestly, I’ve been under a lot of stress as of late so writing something so angsty was basically impossible because it really drains the energy right out of you. honestly, I was sobbing while I wrote it for real. I don’t know if it’s gonna be that bad for you because I was also listening to some fuckking saad aasss songs at the same time so it was... it was bad.