#eve's notes

i’m jeering, of course. i do adore harley’s type of characters the most and i aesthetically love awful, old men in fiction. peak hot stuff, right there. they are so terrible, that i need them to be loved and to yearn like a crazy evil person they are. but objectively, it’s always some guy who is waaaay, waaay too good for them, who has a rather deep damage himself, which makes this whole thing click so well. two wrongs don’t make a right, but a wrong and rightful wrong can make something rather compelling. 

either way, i’m merely blaberring, since finishing writing the next chapter for DexM made me think about how it all will evolve further down the line. and how it’s ironically changes a lot for harley, but doesn’t really change harley himself. well, not in a way, that changes his nature, at least.

and this in return, made me track back to that idea that i had awhile back about harley and angel meeting during the young geniuses program. and how the only thing, that would have been different is that technically, they would have had a happily ever after, since harley would have declined an offer to work at playtime co, but he still would have sucked so bad in this, haha. calling dibs on angel from the get-go and pretty much making sure, that he won’t go anywhere (not that angel would have tried, really) and won't ever get super close with anyone else (also not like angel would have done it, anyways). all while elliot is horrified by how he kinda made all of this happen, since harley needed a friend and elliot picked him one, and harl never let go of said 'friend' ever again lol.

with all the talks about a poppy playtime movie ... i sure hope, that if we will have a glimpse at harley, they'd find someone like this to play him. an older man, who isn't objectively handsome, but quite striking.

kinda funny, how the second i saw this gentelman on screen, i was like ohh, he would have made such a cool dr. sawyer. hence, this specific movie is nothing short of antient, and this good fella right here was dead for years, i magine, but oh well.

i really enjoy how unforgiving harley is toward those, who hurt him (elliot). it doesn’t mean much to him, that the intention behind said hurt was good. i really love a character, whose pain grows teeth of its own, esp if said character was already a ‘bad apple’ to begin with. to make an enemy of such a person is just bound to end up in a murder. 

in comparison, angel’s hurts are more melancholic. he doesn’t really reflect on it. not in a way, that most people would do, but it does make things harder for him. it’s like dragging a chain, that is bound to you and you don’t know how to get rid of it, so you just make peace with it and try to ignore its weight, since with time, it becomes kinda a part of you. the guilt makes it impossible to even entertain the idea, that you didn’t deserve it. 

in everyday life you often have to hide your teeth to get by, but what if you didn’t have to do it? or rather didn’t fully realize that it needed to be done? what if your impulsive reaction was always stronger than your control? there was always going to be some sort of terrible freedom in that. in being awful person and kind of knowing that you are, but never fully caring.

i love that harley has no typical hold ups most of the time. he has manners, but only he choosen when to use them and if to use them at all. aside from people, who are above him in ranking he can be just as bristly as he wants to. this comes with side effects too, of course. but i don’t think, that him putting on some friendly face would eventually make him less lonely. it’s not about the amount of chatter you get or hang up you have, it’s about the quality of those things. 

so for him to be actually liked by someone (and like them back) is such a big experience. and the kind which he didn’t even fully conceptualize. angel coming into his ivory tower, not with sword (as harl still very much a dragon of this story), but with intentions a knight usually have for a princess ….