#eva labn

like as much as jeva is one of the few things i genuinely ship, i don't think this tragedy makes sense if it's a tragedy just about them. jasper is trying with everything he has to keep eva alive against a force he cannot fight and it is not enough, because this is so much bigger than him. he clocks the end of this tragedy in her way back, and he's doing everything he can, but he's not the one pushing the tragedy wheel forward, so he doesn't really even get the opportunity to stop it

i've seen people take eva's words in the last episode to mean "you are inherently bad for me/you bring out the worst in me", but i don't think that's actually what she was saying?

like. control is eva's primary theme as a character, and it's one that vtm as a system lends itself well to - both in the fact that mind control abilities are so commonplace among kindred, and also that fundamental question of how much control do you have over yourself? eva even as a human, we know she was a hippie, she was addicted to psychedelics, she was a bi woman in the 60s who ran off with her female lover, she has never liked being controlled. even worse because she got turned and then was faced with the existence of maximilian strauss. he wants ultimate control over everyone below him and he's so much more powerful than either eva or katya, so she was stuck in one of the worst and most damaging environments ever, which turned her natural rebellious spirit into someone with a massive trauma response to even the idea of not being in control of herself

(something absolutely fine and not harmful for a vampire to have in any way, she's fine)

and i don't know how many people actually pay that much attention to katya, i haven't seen much content around for her but also i got into this fandom after it finished airing, maybe there was more back in the day. but katya used to be like eva! she wasn't always beholden to the ivory tower. i presume she was embraced into the camarilla (and she's much older than eva, so who knows how long she was stuck there), but she hated the place, she couldn't wait to get out, and her turning eva was part of her rebellion and her escape

and really, that's where the tragedy cycle starts. almost 30 years before jasper was even born

katya can't handle being controlled by strauss, so she runs away with a girl who understands her, who can help her through this terrible situation she lives under. but by doing so, she inadvertently gives strauss control over eva as well. the two try to be free together, and it doesn't work, he finds them, and he hurts one of them to punish both of them, far worse than he ever has before. as far as eva knows, katya is dead because of her, and she's going to carry that with her for the rest of her life. as far as katya is concerned, she brought this all on eva, so she'll take whatever punishment strauss has to give if he just leaves eva alone

decades of strauss' abuse manifests in katya as someone who is too afraid to break the rules anymore. shayne eastin does a magnificent job of playing someone who has so clearly been broken by what she went through, who's an antagonist only because she can't imagine standing against the person who hurt her without him destroying her life and the life of everyone she loves. and eva knows it too, when they do finally meet again at the end of s3, she's horrified by the fact that katya is barely recognisable. it's worse than if katya was dead, because it means someone's been hurting the person she loves for over 40 years to the point that person is almost entirely gone, and she didn't do anything to stop it

eva meanwhile has spent those 40 years in this horrendous yo-yo of fear and desire. the way she lives most of the time is so counter to the eva we know she used to be, but it's simpler. if she doesn't try to be a real person with real feelings, if she doesn't involve anyone else, then she doesn't have to deal with the guilt of her mistakes killing the people she loves. but the part of her that's still human still wants the same things she used to want. that's the part of her that falls in love with jasper

but then because of this life she's lived, isolating herself for over half her time on this planet, so much of her relationship with jasper is haunted by katya! she made the link between the two, by giving him katya's ring (was a part of her hoping she could just rewind time back to then and everything would be fine?), but in doing so she also declares to strauss exactly what jasper is to her, and therefore risks jasper ending up the exact same way. and every time he gets close to falling in that trap she really can't tell whether she's more mad at him or herself

and then we get rodrigo.

eva does not kill people, ever. it's one of the hard rules she made for herself to stay in control, because she's learned in far too many gruesome ways that not having control is unthinkable (she and jasper are very alike in this way, though got there through complete opposite situations). but she's so scared, and so angry, she just learned that strauss knows exactly who jasper is to her and that means he's going to find him and torture him and once jasper has no strength left to resist kill him and it will be because of eva. (she's angry with jasper too, for not running away from it all, for continuing to be exactly who she fell in love with even though it's gonna get him killed)

rodrigo is here, and he's close to death already, and he's one of the people who hurt jasper, who almost took him away from her. she doesn't want to be the person who summons lightning to finish him off, but she does. (technically she doesn't even kill rodrigo, jasper gets there first, but that's not what matters. she was out of control, and she's horrified by it)

and the dominoes start falling. aurora is looking for her brother, looking for who killed him. strauss has moved katya into play to set eva off balance while he's hunting for the secrets of the labyrinth, and it's working. katya wants eva to be safe, but the only way she knows how to do that anymore puts eva more on edge than ever. jasper wants eva to be safe, but he can barely do any better. eva wants strauss dead so she can finally stop being so scared of him ripping up her life again, and she's willing to put her own life on the line repeatedly to do it. better her than anyone else

(she's out of control and she knows it, she knows she's scaring jasper, but she has to protect him from herself, keeping him safe is why she broke her own rules in the first place so it's fine, it's justified, she can solve this problem and he'll be okay)

the worst part is she realises at some point that the best way to get there is through katya. i'd love to know exactly what eva went through over her time undercover, because like. her façade was she broke up with jasper and she hates him now and she got back together with katya instead. a lie she was telling to everyone except jasper - including katya. she spent an unknown amount of time in a fake relationship with the unrecognisable shell of the person she used to love most in the world so she could get close enough to kill their mutual abuser while that person believed they were together again and everything was going to be fine now. we didn't really get time to explore it but how does that fuck someone up?

does she feel guilty every time she has to pretend like katya's still her entire world, because she remembers when that was true? does she miss how katya used to be more than ever? is some part of her still hoping katya can change, can find herself again, that they'd run away together like they always talked about? if she's doing this to save jasper what if she can still save katya, too?

but she can't. because katya is trying to save her, from the mistake she made with rodrigo. katya knows that aurora has identified eva as the person who killed her brother, and nothing will stop aurora from killing eva over it. unless katya kills her first - which she does, at the cost of her own life. for real this time, solidifying the reality that eva tortured herself for decades over

eva's words in the finale read to me as "i've tried in every way i can think of to solve this problem and everything i've done has only made it worse. i am out of control and i don't know how to find my way back to control but i cannot let you die for me"

so she grabs for the only avenue of control that she's sure she has left. (is there an argument to be made that this is more likely to get jasper killed, given his general reckless tendencies and the fact that you're one of the only things he had left to hold onto? sure. but i think in eva's mind it's a chance of him dying if she does this vs a surety if she doesn't)