#ev09

10. “Competitive, focused Rumi, who tackles every new task or hobby with all the single-minded concentration of an especially competent border collie.” THIS LINE DUDE THIS LINE. THE AMOUNT OF CHARACTERISATION IN ONE SENTENCE. First of all we've got ‘competitive’ which could potentially be seen as negative, but then it's mediated immediately by the word focused, which is much more positive, as if even in Mira's MIND she can't think something moderately negative about Rumi without immediately following it with something she likes about her. The amount of tolerantly frustrated love you pack into this whole sentence is inSANE. ESPECIALLY COMPETENT BORDER-COLLIE is just such a vivid explanation of Rumi's character and says so much about the fond exasperation Mira has for her. She's great at everything she does, she's enthusiastic, she's cute and Mira loves her even when she's being a competitive little dick. Just, such great descriptive characterisation.

9. “Zoey’s cold all over and Mira’s gone so still she could be made of glass or ice or something equally as untouchably beautiful, equally as prone to shattering.” I've said it before and I'll say it again but I think your use of repetition is so solidly beautiful. Here it's the juxtaposition of those two things, the beauty and the fragility of her and the repetition sets it off so so good. I love that the metaphors are both cold in nature - they're both having the same reaction to the situation, Zoey is recognising their similarities in the moment. It's also just really pretty wording and made my heartspace hurt.

8. “Zoey is left alone, and she hates that this is the most familiar anything has felt since she got on that plane” I had to add this one because it punched me in the face when I first read it. Again it's just another example of the well thought through, well rounded and vivid character descriptions that you're so so good at - it leans on what we've learnt so far about Zoey during that plane scene to show us exactly how lonely she's felt through her life and how difficult she's found that, and then punches you in the eyeballs with Zoey's palpable fear that any hope she had that she would have people, she thought she had soulmates who were with her but they've met her for two seconds and it's already going wrong they've only just met her and she’s already proven that she's not good enough and she's been left to sit in that spiral by people she thought might be hers.

7. “It’s one of those spring days where it feels kind of like the weather is regressing back to winter” I love this for multiple reasons. It's a completely understandable vibe, that everyone reading can immediately relate to. It says so much about the backdrop to the scene to follow without being a cliche or a generalised statement. AND THEN it's coming immediately after the first moments of fluff when then girls are starting to trust each other, but things are backsliding and feeling worse again??? Like the spring is their budding relationship and they're the ones regressing???? BEAUTIFUL.

6. “Mira hates that nod. Mira wants to bite that nod. And the person doing it. Not in a fun way.” I just love this line it cracked me the fuck up the first time I read it. Wanting to bite a nod???? The sort of cuteness aggression that is mostly aggression aggression but still in a silly, loving way??? A+++ banger few sentences I love them so MUCH.

5. “Namsaek’s kindness is palpable, patient and ever-infinite. She is gentle as rumbling thunder, the kind you fall asleep to, observant and serene and tender. When she reaches out to Rumi, it is with a dry sort of wit, good-natured. Oh. Of course it’s you. It always had to be you, didn’t it?” I don't think I even need to explain why I love this one so much. Everything about these few sentences. The love and adoration and admiration in every word. Just the beauty with which Rumi thinks of her, the lightning imagery that you use for Mira (which !!!!) coming back again. She knows that she's capable of the anger that Rumi is faced with later already but in the soul of her she knows that there's so much tenderness of feeling beneath that anger. The repetition of both the oh of realisations that they keep having about each other, and the repetition of it's you it always had to be you didn't it. The soulmate vibe of it. These few lines are EVERYTHINGggG.

4. “Zoey’s heart hammers in her ribcage. She’s sure her jaw is slack with shock, with feeling. Mira looks similarly affected in her own subtle way, dark brown eyes so very wide, a light, delicate flush forming high on her cheekbones. Stunned. Stunning. (Stop that.)” This one made me laugh and also scream about how adorable Zoey is and also Mira. Zoey has fallen so hard so fast. The ability to take that word stunned and immediately turn it around on my feelings???? Get lost ev just GO AWAY. And this was such an impactful parenthetical. I'm weak for how these girls think about each other but everything about this is SO SOFT. She just loves Mira so much but she's trying not to be because she's TOO MUCH OBVIOUSLY. Kill me now.

3. “There is Mira, not an ounce of judgement in her eyes, no questions on her lips. There is Mira, watching her with frank assessment, calm and steady. There is Mira, the slightest hint of worry drawing her eyebrows together...” THE STEADY PRESENCE OF THIS. yes she's concerned but first of all she's THERE and she wants Rumi to know that immediately, without asking anything of her, without needing to put her own feelings into the situation, just being there and being someone Rumi can start to rely on. UGHHHHHHH.

2. “Beautiful in the way that lightning shines” we're back to the lightning / storm analogy for Mira. I've banged on about why I love that already but I love that this is a common theme in your Mira descriptions and I LOVE this phrasing it's so her and so lovely and says so much about her character and how she's thought of.