#eternalonging

April and May were painful, lonely months for me because I couldn’t talk to you. I never knew that spring could be so painful and lonely. Better to have three Februaries than a spring like this.

“I don’t know, it’s stupid being 20,” she said. “I’m just not ready. It feels weird. Like somebody’s pushing me from behind.”

“OK, so I’m not so smart. I’m working class. But it’s the working class that keeps the world running, and it’s the working class that get exploited. What kind of revolution is it that just throws out big words that working-class people can’t understand? What kind of crap social revolution is that?”

I was always hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it - to be fed so much love I couldn’t take any more. Just once. 

I was at ease in everything, yet satisfied with nothing. Each joy made me yearn for another.

What if I’ve forgotten the most important thing? What if somewhere inside me there is a dark limbo where all the truly important memories are heaped and slowly turning into mud?

And every night I thought of you. Now that I can no longer see you, I realize how much I need you.