#esper posting

A clothed octopus, telerporting in the middle of the cesspool.

Are your communicators working? Are your fleshy ones alive?

I am communicating, as embassador of Esper.

We have techonology and the means, of repairing your vessel and any equipment that was destroyed in your crashing to Kadlheim.

We also offert food and refuge, in our plane.

You know how life works, so I will be honest. We are curious for your technology, and whatever homeplane you came from.

I swear for my body and soul. That none of your crew will experience harm.

I say farewell.

--Zochixil, etherlich from Esper

My direction: @ethersworn

Y-yes. all al!ve & accounted for. Thank you for your cons!derat!0n.

You say you can help f!x our sh-sh-sh!p? that's great! We would of course be obl!gated to tell you how !t works! (plus, anyth!ng you need about the Edge).

We hope to hear from you aga!n1

Her propiertor, an matured goblin, was hasty with my "remodelations" plans. Untill I promised an undeniable deal. An all-brawl, with amazing pyrotecnin, served by yours truly. I can see the goblin`s thopters, flying around the arena.

I am sit, with legs crossed, my favorite weapons in front of me. My axe and cannon-gun. I had five shoot on my persona, each taking ten second for recharging. Ten letal hits.

The bombs? Set under the seats and the walls of the arena, fours wick in the four directions. Close enough, to ignite them with my spells.

Now, I must to wait, for my pursuers.

They arrived. Damn, they are a lot. I am so desired, across the planes?

Humans of red hair, climb the walks, an duo. Sisters maybe. They wear clothes of leather with fuzzy coats. Kaldheimers.

An solitary figure arrived from the south. An metal claded humanoid, brandishing toga of purple and lavender, depicting an deceased elf queen. Je, an mournfull widower eldrainan.

An small hint of ozone, from the north gate. An artificer, judging by the ridiculous contraption on his back. Too extravagant to identify their plane.

"So then. Are you all Shregesha friends?" I ask confused. I am just an stupid orc, waiting for an brawl.

"I fear that your friend, wont arrive, beast." Responded the metal clad. An eldrainan, giving the grandiloquent wording. "For today, you will pay for your transgression, against the innocent workers that you terrorized. So say the great Sir Black Geese!" He raise his two handed sword, with one hand. An gloryseeker idiot. The idiot can`t even raise his weapon above his shoulder.

"You bounty? No, no" Retorted the kadlheimer, who had an scar over her left eye. "This orc is ours, to the sisters Grease and Flame" Her sister nodded. The due wielded an mace covered in marfils of beats, alongside axes with runes of red. A bit uncreatives on name, but maybe they can pose an problem.

"And what about you sparky?" I asked to the dwarf woman, who had clothes more appropiate for the inside of an foundry, than in the middle of an arena.

"Uh. Can we just share the bounties? There was an reward for each head of the pirates and the barabrians" She tried to calm down the humours of the belicose idiots, while she pushed a few button of her backpack-machine. It`s started to roar, as ozone smell invaded the arena.

"My crew. My crew. Of course. They are just a few kilomenters, on the south" I poited to the east. "To the norht" Then south. "Or whatever planes they went. Cause they aren`t here anymore. What, you really tought that I would risk my dummies to save my own skin" I finally stoop up on the arena, as I grabbed one axe.

"Um. Loyalty for you soldiers. What a shame, that you dont see the valours of numbers, you beast!" Mocked sir Geese. Well, its dead won`t be such tragedy.

"Yes. Yes, I knew for day one, that fighting against an army of dishounorables would be ridiculous" As I monologued, I snapped my finger. A small flame had ignited the wicks. "Lets admit. Even I, Blazen Pelt, wretler of dragons, have a limit against how many foes I can take. " The sisters could only smiles, as they observed the rest as preys. I snapped once again, to the wick of the north. "So, one solitary aren. An space only filled with my enemies. An no escape for me." The roar`s of the artificer machine, was getting louder.

"Unless, for an little detail" I smiled to the knight, as he charged with the swords. As I remindiced, the roads of the city. If I could see the face of the foolish knight, as his blade hitted ashes.

At least, I won`t witness such violent ends. As the whole arena jumped to the skies!!!.

As I return, from the blind eternities, in the paved roads of Kylem. I can see an small pillar of smoke, far from the distance.

Well, that solve one issue. The plan, the original one, was that I reunited with my dispersed crew, back to Ixalan.

I heard an faint humming, in my back. Ah, an thopter.

It must be one of the owner`s one. I wonder if she is taking images of my faces, as evidence of this incident.

Should I allow it? Nah, I have enough problem with Alara. I better deleta all the evidence. As I extend my hand, I felt like an tincling. An uncomrfotable one. As it numb my hand. The rest of my idiotic body, soon follow it.

Wasn`t this exaggerated from the goblin? It was an small explosion.

"That was dessapointingly easy" An robotic voice, an feminine one, spoke from the roofs. As it levels to the ground, I can only see half of her frame. An strange work of art, of silver metal, with too many holes.

"An orc pirate, captain of an crew, dealing with an group of petty bountyhunters. Enough evidence, to identify you, as the Kind Blazen Pelt of the Brazen Coalition. Wasnt it? Can you confirm it?" I can only mumble in protest, trying to wish her to poison in sea water. She only laughs. "Well, sorry. I forgot that the outer-planeners are completely babbling masses of mud. Don`t worry. I am sure that the mentalists of my bosses. Will pryvi the locations of your friends. " That is bad. How stupid of me. What use was to assure their escape, if these blue mens will know it once they dissect by brain! This bad, too bad.

Of the thousand ways, that I could be captured. The tragic end of my life. The final nail to my tomb.

I report to be un the posession of three infants and four young adults of their planes. They were on their own world "searching for treasures and artifacts in the lich's tomb". I am sending this message, hoping that their familias or legal guardians come to retrieve thems.

They are safely resguarded in the guest's room. Being feed with goop with all their nutritional need, and fruits from Naya.

Now, I shall behind with the description, due to these "adventurers" refusal to share their names or any personal information.One tall and male, of pale skin young adults, with long ears. An kid and girl, wich an green blue uniforme. An strangely small adult, with hair over it's face. An-

ALERT. ALERT. YOU ARE ABANDONING THE GUESTROOM. RETURN FOR YOUR SAFETY

You are the representant of the Esper nation, correct?

Well, I demand an explanation as the why your "metalic bugs" are invading the sacred grounds of Krothuss!

It`s rude that you are exploring our seas whitout our permission.

With love."

---Annie Stromkirk

Indeed. I am for now, the only medium of Esper with the wide multiverse.

I apologize for the sudden intrusion of my colleague. We were given the hint, that our stolen artifacts, were lost in your planes.

And XYXYXYX.... It`s confirmed. Our lost artifacts is found within your seas.

First, an aviskhari dared to enter to my lair. As soon they shared their goals of retrieving the kids, I shoved all the infants to their charge.

I trust, that Aviskhar have the means to return these kids of their homes, and are more capacitated to take care for their kiddy necesities.

(Sidenote, build an barthroom for the biological necesities. Not everyone, have updated their bodies to discard the disposition of trash)

Second, I somehow gaine the reputation of an "raid boss"? What does that word even means? Why are all these thieves assaulting my house? I don`t have artifacats, only my collection of drakes figurines!!!

Oh! So clear and concis.....

My brethrens confirmed the return of the device. That make you tale credible. How curious, that such merry band, decided to transport across the sea`s of the nightmare plane....

I will send the coordinate, to the people who are the propietor of such artifact. We will test, if the coordinate are correct.

She adopted an ridicously plain moniker, Six blasters or Four Bladed, in Thunder Juction.

She seemed unnaturally exhasperated with the unrule chaos of the outer-planes tought, trought our communicators. Her latest job ended in humilliation, it seems.