#especially asmodeus

table of contents:

1- hell in general

2- the kings

3- my king

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1- hell in general

so firstly, i loved it so much. my memories of hell contain no bias based on sexuality or gender- speaking of which, gender wasn't really... a thing? at least not in the way it is for humans. nobody cared who you were with (so long as it wouldn't start wars, etc)

i'll admit, the social/economic classes were dreadful. not exactly capitalism, but there were stark differences. i was lucky enough to serve very closely under my king, and i enjoyed luxuries many other demons probably didn't. i'm thankful for that.

i'm guessing i resided in goetic hell, or at least partially there, considering i interacted with mostly goetic nobles. they were usually very proper, some were pretty nice to me, even though i was basically a lapdog.

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2- the kings

i mostly saw other kings, as i followed king paimon around everywhere. asmodeus and bael stand out to me. asmodeus has visited me in dreams at least twice that i can remember in this life. in the first, i was summoning him during a dream but had to wake up, and he said we would meet another time. sure enough, a few months ago (2-3? maybe?), he showed up again. he helped me construct a massive temple in what was i guess my part of the astral? it was dedicated to him and paimon.

i have some connection to king bael/baal, i'm not sure exactly what it was though. he hasn't contacted me or been as prominent in this life as paimon and asmodeus.

asmodeus roared his name when someone questioned it, and it stands in my mind very strongly, and it always has. he views me fondly, from what i can feel and remember. he was certainly harsh to many others. he and my king seemed cordial at best.

i named one of my geckos after king beleth. i can't remember them well, though it seems in this life they have granted me some good luck in terms of romance.

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3- my king

the most glorious being besides lord lucifer and father satan himself. my king calms me during this life and has spoken to me in times of extreme distress. i don't know what a "burnt out angel" would sound like, though at times he certainly did sound very tired. his voice was like molten gold- beautiful, glamorous, but incredibly dangerous if he chose to be so. it's true that he has a feminine face- in fact, he often looked very androgynous in such an incredible way. he looked regal, sometimes queenly, sometimes kingly. 

i know that before i began serving him closely, i worked to torment souls sent to be tortured. it's important to note- the souls that are "damned" are not gay or trans kids, not witches or jewish people, none of that. actually bad people go to hell. pedophiles. rapists. abusers. they all deserve the worst possible treatment.

my king took me under his wing, like a teacher of sorts. over decades, possibly centuries, we grew close, to the point where i was a sort of pet, perhaps? companion. that's the word. i was a companion. and he trusted me enough to take me right outside lucifer's door. i remember the light that shone from within. i hope i never forget.

i understand why people who are close to him get jealous when another tries to work with him. he has that power, that air to him, and rightfully so. it's best to keep in mind that if he is close with someone or will work with someone, it's because they are worthy of him.

WOW i wrote more about hell than i ever do for school. but yeah! i love my king and hell and all of it.