#esilypuck

TEXT MESSAGES

Puck: On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad is an article about your fiance having a romantic beach outing with her ex boyfriend while she was suppose to be at Disney and TMZ posting a story about it? I'm going with 10, 10 for murder.

Puck: I should also probably mention that Cedes has texts  where Sam tells her he loves her.

Rachel: 25 to life, Noah.

Puck: But what if I murder Sam and no one finds the body?

Rachel: Though I think we’d make an excellent Bonnie and Clyde tag team, I truly do not want to be an accessory to your murderous rage.

Rachel: Where are you?

Puck: If I don't tell you where the body is you can't be an accessory.

Puck: I'm at the Morrison

Rachel: I listen to My Favorite Murder, Noah. The FBI will pull my phone and text records and then where will we be.

Rachel: Is that a hotel?

Puck: This is why we need burner phones, so many perfect murders are ruined thanks to the FBI.

Puck: It's a pub

Rachel: Do you want some company?

Rachel: We could discuss details of a murder you won’t commit in person.

Puck: Yeah, I do.

Puck: Commit, not commit, we'll play it by ear.

[ a short pause ]

Rachel: Give me a few. I’ll catch an Uber.

Rachel: Is it alright if let Quinn know where I’m headed?

Puck: Alright, see you soon.

Puck: Figured you would, since you two are buddy buddy

Rachel: Okay. Be there soon.

Rachel: Order me whatever you’re drinking.

Puck: Whiskey, got it.

After the TMZ exclusive went viral, it didn’t take long at all for the news to spread around their group of friends. And while Rachel knew she hadn’t exactly been paying attention to much beyond the bubble she had been sharing with Quinn, she was still caught off guard. She knew gossip sites would run with whatever story would earn them the most hits, but Puck had disappeared, and call it her sometimes psychic tinglings, but Rachel felt uneasy. She was trying not to jump to conclusions, to draw her line in proverbial sand until all parties involved had said their piece, but her heart ached for Noah anyway, and the fact that she was in an Uber headed across Los Feliz to meet him in a pub said enough about where she stood.

Entering the Morrison, Rachel’s gaze flitted around the tables before she spotted Puck sitting on a stool at the bar. The stool beside him was open, so Rachel didn’t hesitate in walking over to claim the spot as her own. She let her elbow slide across the bar top until she could nudge Puck. “Anyone bothering you?” Since the engagement had been announced a couple weeks ago, Rachel knew Puck had been recognized. And with today’s top entertainment news story...  “I know I look small, but I’m all muscle. I can scare them off for you.”

After seeing the article on TMZ Puck knew he couldn't stay in the same house as Mercedes or Sam that night. If he did his actions would probably end up on TMZ and the morning news. Puck stuffed a change of clothes in his backpack, grabbed the guitar Sugar had gifted him and walked until he came across a pub. Walking inside he sat down at the bar and began to alternate between beer and whiskey. After an hour of mopping by himself he texted Rachel and she agreed to come keep him company, an action he'd probably thank her for poorly as the evening went on.

Felt Rachel's nudge and chuckled softly at her question. "No, I think I look like I'm gonna kill someone or sing a shitty version of All By Myself so everyone is leaving me alone." Nudged Rachel back and nodded. "Oh I know, one punch to the throat and anyone that crossed you would be down for the count."

“I’ll allow that slight about my height just tonight, Noah Puckerman,” Rachel teased, even if it didn’t really fit the somberness of the occasion. The bartender then set down a small glass with two fingers of what Rachel assumed was whiskey, and she looked toward Noah as she took the drink in her hands. “Are we shooting or are we sipping?” She hadn’t planned on really drinking too much after Vegas, but she’d do it for Puck if he needed a friend to get drunk with.

"Depends on what you're drinking to", Puck replied before downing the shot in front of him. "If you're drinking because you're happy, sip, if you've got something to get off your mind, shoot."

With that, Rachel eyed her drink for another moment and then tossed it back. She couldn’t help but grimace at the burn that lingered even as she set her glass down and used the palm of her hand to smack the bar twice. “Another!” she announced. That’s how they did it in movies, right? And as she waited for her drink to refilled, she turned her head to look at Puck, hesitated for only a moment, and then gently asked, “Have you talked to her at all?”

Smiled for the first time since the news broke, when Rachel threw her drink back. "That's exactly how they do it in the movies and since I'm buying you can do that as many times as you want", he replied. "No, I mean on the set of The Real and shit all day and she's filming Blackish tomorrow. Hard to find time to ask her what's up with love confession text messages and a secret beach date with her ex when we're the ones that are getting married in a few days."

Her drink was refilled and even though Rachel knew she should probably wait another few minutes for downing it, back it went. If she had something in her mouth, she didn’t need to talk yet, and right now she wasn’t exactly sure what to say. She didn’t know why Puck wouldn’t have gone to wherever Mercedes was this evening and demand answers or to talk. But as the alcohol burned again -- though this time in a slightly more pleasant manner -- Rachel did admit to herself that Puck likely didn’t do that because he didn’t embody the penchant for dramatics that she personally did.

With her drink downed and now swallowed, Rachel nodded as she pushed the empty glass back and forth between her palms. “Are we going to have to go all Bonnie and Clyde? Or Thelma and Louise? Drive the bus off a cliff?”

"Pretty sure Finn would follow us into the afterlife and kick our asses if we drove the bus off a cliff", he added before signaling the bartender for another drink. For a moment he looked at the menu in front of him, figuring they should eat something if they were going to be drinking as much as they were. "Want some fries?" he asked in a poor attempt to avoid addressing the issue at hand. "I… I really don't know what to do. We haven't been talking a ton and maybe, maybe this whole wedding thing isn't suppose to happen."

“Fries. Yeah, I can do fries.” And Rachel wouldn’t even inquire if the fryers were shared with meat products. At least not tonight. Pushing her glass away -- she knew she should get some food in her stomach before the next drink, otherwise Puck would have to be carrying her out of the pub, Rachel turned on her stool to face Puck. Her knees bumped against his thigh, but the added closeness seemed right, to keep their conversation between just them.

“Not to state the obvious, but talking does seem like it needs to be your top priority...” Then, cautiously, “Are you... Noah, are you just going through the motions now because that’s what you think you have to do? What’s expected of you? Or because it’s what you want?”

"Talk, so easy to say but not all that easy to do sometimes", he sighed. Puck ordered them each an order of fries, his with parmesan, hers without. "Is it bad that I don't really know? Before this trip I thought I was doing the right thing, marrying who I was suppose to be with my entire life. Now? The love is still there, I love Mercedes, but...I don't know if I'm in love with her."

“So what’s changed? Besides the not talking stuff, of course.” Because if Puck thought what he was doing before the trip was the right thing, how had that spiraled into this...mess in less a month. Rachel tried to rack her brain about certain events that stood out to her, but aside from the day they visited the military museum and the uncomfortable awkwardness that followed, there really wasn’t a particular incident she could point to.

"Well for one I think she's in love with Sam, never really stopped being in love with Sam. And I know Sam loves her", he blurted out. "And well maybe we were never in love, more in love with the idea of being in love", Puck admitted for the first time to himself and outloud. "

Lips pressed into a thin line, Rachel did recall hearing about the radio interview Mercedes had given where she was asked about first loves and she had been so candid, and in some ways cavalier in her response about Sam, especially considering her pending nuptials. “You have options, Noah,” Rachel started as she reached forward, her hand coming to rest just above his knee to offer a soft, supportive squeeze. She couldn’t make this decision for him, she couldn’t tell him what to do, but she could offer her support. Maybe all this boiled down to cliched cold feet, and if so, “Postponing the ceremony. Taking the time to figure out exactly what you both want.”

He had options, but all of them had a downside, several had pretty big downsides. Still he had to do what was right. "I can't marry someone that's in love with someone else and who I'm not even sure I'm in love with", Puck replied. "Have you have been so into someone that you thought you were in love? That everything seemed to come so easy and feels perfect? That's what I felt with Mercedes before we went on the road trip. I'm not sure I was ever in love with her, but I was in love with the thought of loving someone and someone loving me."

With a pat to his leg, Rachel shifted on the stool, hoping the dim lights of the pub wouldn’t draw attention to the way her cheeks had warmed, since at the mention of being into someone so much that you thought you were in love, she thought of Quinn. Because there was a time that summer when Quinn had cut off all contact that Rachel tried to convince herself that her feelings were born from nothing but infatuation, an intense girl crush from spending all the time that they did together. But she knew that was a lie -- perhaps like how Noah seemed almost sure now that the opposite was true for him.

“Love’s a tricky thing,” Rachel began, eyes straight ahead but a bit unfocused as moments from the past few weeks with Quinn played on a reel in her mind. “You kind of get stuck in a bubble and reality...it can twist. You don’t know what’s up or down.”

"Love is fucked up, that's what it is", he said bluntly. "How did I get to this point? Sitting in a bar, mopping about a girl not being in love with me. High school Puck would have just have gone out and found someone to fuck."

“But you’re not high school Puck anymore. None of us are who were then.” Even if it had been all too easy to slip into familiar patterns over these past few weeks. “I don’t want to say you’re a better person,” Rachel continued, pausing to lick her lips and think over her words, “because I adored high school Noah Puckerman. He was a pretty great guy.” Even when he slept with Quinn, Rachel couldn’t blame him, and she only saw red (and then green) for a couple of days.

“And you’re a great guy now, too, but we’re all...” Rachel paused again, fingertips drumming out a rhythm against the bar for a few beats before she picked up her train of thought once more. “We’re like snakes, Noah. Each year that passes we shed another layer and we learn a little something more about who we are. We’re one step closer to becoming the people we’re meant to be.” It wasn’t the best metaphor, but Rachel wasn’t sure an onion Shrek reference was suitable for this moment.

"You could have fooled me, some of this shit feels way too high school to me", Puck committed. He nodded his head in agreement, he'd hoped he'd changed, that he changed a little every year. "I really didn't know what I was doing with this relationship did I?" he asked earnestly. "I went into it full force and never paused, never thought that things wouldn't be like they were at the beginning." Saying  it outloud made Puck realize just how naive he'd been. "So much for first love."

She never had to announce her hugs with Noah, so Rachel just leaned over, really leaned into him, and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. It seemed like he had perhaps come to a decision of sorts through talking, working out his feelings aloud, and really all she could do was support him. “First loves aren’t your only loves. I know from experience.” Though perhaps Rachel had briefly entertained the idea that maybe her first love could potentially be her last, but she and Quinn weren’t even close to that point in their rebuilding of their friendship. Relationship. Whatever they were doing.

Rachel pressed her lips against Noah’s cheek just like she had four days ago when they were celebrating in Vegas, and it was so crazy to think of how everything had seemingly changed since them. “And I’m not sure it’s entirely possible to know what we’re doing when we have two parts of us that sometimes want to guide us in different directions.” Another kiss and a squeeze. “Write some music. Make your heart and your head talk to each other.”

Put his arms around Rachel's waist and kind of melted into the hug. "You know for someone so tiny you can hold up a lot of weight. The weight of a grown man full of alcohol", he said with a slight laugh. "First love, last love, whatever way  you want to put it."

Rachel's mention of writing made Puck realize that he hadn't shared his news. "So on the front that doesn't involve a break up I've got some news for you. I kinda got offered a writing and recording deal from a label in New York."

“Get out!” Rachel’s tone had dramatically shifted from what it was just a second ago as her hands pushed off Puck’s shoulders so that she could look him in the eye. “Are you serious?!” And then she was hugging him again, well, hugging and shaking because the mood had sort of shifted. “You know if I was financially able I’d be buying a round for everyone right now in your honor. I’m so proud of you, Noah.”

Couldn't help but laugh and then grin at Rachel's reaction. "Seriously, someone posted a video of us singing at the open mic night, the label saw it and they liked what they heard. I'll be signing the deal next week", he replied. "Oh I know you would and you'd go to each and everyone of them and tell them just how proud you are."

“You know I expect a dedication on your first album’s booklet.” Rachel didn’t care if it was in actual print or just a PDF. “And a signed copy. And a seat front row and center at your first show. Aaaand, if you feel like using a certain brown-eyed girl as inspiration for writing the next big hit...” Rachel’s nonchalant shrug grew into a wide grin. “Have at it.”

"You get a whole page and a crate of records, who knows you may be one of 20 people that actually like my music. A front row seat will always be for you and I'll have a song called 'Rachel' so no one can confuse just who the song is about." Puck thanked the waitress when she dropped off their fries and proceeded to dunk a few in ranch dressing. "When you drank you first shot, you downed it, that means you've got something to get off your chest", Puck commented. "You listened to me go on about love so I'm all about welcoming you to my metaphorical couch."

Rachel easily could play off downing the drink like a shot in nothing more than solidarity and commiseration, but she figured with everything Puck had just divulged, the trust he had put in her hands, she could return it. So after sprinkling her fries with malt vinegar and dunking two in ketchup, she admitted, “I think you’re maybe a little bit psychic, too, because Quinn and I have sort of been doing a lot of kissing lately.”

"I knew it!", he said with a mouth full of fries. "You really into her or just having some fun on vacation?", Puck asked before signalling the bartender for another beer.

Mimicking the motion Puck did -- this wasn’t the time to slam her palm on the bar top again -- Rachel ate a few more fries as she considered just how much she wanted to share. But with a pint glass in front of her to match her very own-pintsize, and knowing in her heart that Noah was one of the safest people she could tell her secrets to, “I’ve been into her since high school.”

Puck was a bit surprised by Rachel's admission. She wasn't big on dating and aside from a date with a chick he thought was hot, he'd only ever known her to have dated Jesse. "Since high school? And you two didn't act on things until now?"

Rachel was sure she may have audibly gulped, so she grabbed her glass and downed nearly a third of the pint. “Oh my god, Noah!” A grimace contorted her features for a moment as she willed the taste of beer from her tongue. “How can you drink this?” But then Rachel took another swig, maybe for the courage, maybe to just have another few seconds before saying, “Something happened the summer before senior year and it kind of screwed up everything. We’re only just now figuring it all out so, I know this goes without saying, but please don’t say anything. Or do that eyebrow waggle thing you do.”

"Easy, you chug it", Puck said before downing the rest of his beer. "This is why didn't go to many keg parties together in high school, you would have been useless to me at beer pong", he added. "Well shit, why wasn't I told all about your sexy lady times? I would have wanted details and a little stick people flip box." Thought for a moment and remember that there was some weirdness between Quinn and Rachel senior year but chalked it up to weird chick drama that he wasn't about to get himself into. "You know I can't control the eyebrow waggle, my eyebrows have a mind of their own."

“Control them or I’ll go all 90s teen romcom on you and you’ll wake up to no eyebrows,” Rachel teased, and then softened her tone. “Are you coming back to the house tonight?”

"How dare you!", he huffed. "Probably gonna get a hotel room. Not ready to face the music just yet."

It was understandable that he wouldn’t return to the house, but still, Rachel worried. “Will you at least text me wherever you end up?” And then, after she realized, “Or I could go with you? Unless you just want to do whatever on your own...” Rachel just sort of shrugged, not wanting to impose, but also not wanting to abandon Puck, either.

"Don't worry I'll keep you in the loop", Puck replied before finishing his fries. "Probably just gonna get a hotel room nearby. You're welcome to come, that is if your lady isn't waiting for you back at the house."

“She is,” Rachel admitted. They also had plans for morning and the rest of the day, though Rachel wasn’t exactly sure how she felt about the set tour anymore. “But I just don’t want to abandon one of my best guys in his time of need.” She shifted on her stool again, leaning in close to Puck, and softly sang, “If you need me, call me. No matter where you are, no matter how far, don’t worry, Noah. Just call my name and I’ll be there in a hurry, you don’t have worry.”

"I'll be okay, Rachel, I'm not gonna do anything crazy or get arrested." Puck leaned in and gave Rachel a hug. "Thanks for coming out and making things not suck as much."

“Always. I love you, Noah. And again, I’m so proud of you.” And Rachel meant that not only about his new contract, but also for just taking the time to sort through his feelings, to talk things out. High school Noah would have been punching walls. And possibly Sam. “One more drink?”