#erica...

If you knew how much you deserved, you'd be there getting served. If I could tell you how much you meant, you'd say it was something I'd dreamt. If only it were that easy, but no, life went and got sleazy. People push each other around, maybe it's so they won't have a surround. People lie, some try; some really hide what they are inside. Some are sorry, Some don't worry. I hope you know that my words only flow with what I think is true, because you're part of that special few. You deserve to know that you're beautiful; pretty; amazing; the best in the world and nothing can make my thoughts become unfurled. To you, I can only say exactly what I think, and sometimes those thoughts are exactly what make my stomach sink. But, you're one topic of thought; one that doesn't pull my stomach taught. You're one I could think about every day- is that because I wish you'd stay? This is something I don't know how to say well, but, "I think you're swell..." I wish I could say it in a higher form... but that might receive some scorn...

"I'm going to sleep"- you say without a peep- I answer goodnight; hoping you'll be alright. I watch your icon change and fade; and it makes me think, "what've you made?". I wait & wait, sitting by the screen; hoping you'll be fine, and make no scream. I try to hold my thoughts at bay, because sometimes I don't know if you'll be okay. I wish I could worry less; but you make it so hard & such a mess. I want you to sleep well; but when you're not okay, it's like, "what the hell". I wish I knew how to make everything better; but am I not a place setter. Sometimes you're easy to read; but then- maybe you're just following the bead. I wish I knew if you were you; it would make you so much easier to advise or to shoo. I will always want you around; but without any context... you're never there out loud & you’re never surround’. I wish you didn't hide yourself behind that wall; and that you gave it your obvious all. I wish you knew how your confidence would change; if only your conscience was half your brain. But alas, it's full of sass. It says what we want to hear; but it seems to never let you get clear. I long for when that light goes green; because then at my computer screen, I'll know you're alright; and you made it through the night.

When I say i'm here to stay, you're not one to shy away. you looked me in the eyes and without a sway, said to me, "i hope you mean what you say". And how could I not, I'd rather get shot, than to hang onto a lie and deceive until I fly. That's not what I try, that'll never get me by. I want to stay, it's my one way, to see you every day, to make sure you're okay. I hope you stay safe sweetie, stay that way for me. I don't want this to be a plea, and I don't want you to flee. I just wish you knew how much you meant, to me and to you, you're the most amazing bird who ever flew; you can soar to new heights, higher than most kites. You mean so much more, that this could only make you sore. We're too attached for me to leave now and not feel attacked. I don't know how you feel, but hopefully this will sweeten the deal; I hope you are okay, and I want to be with you every day, just to make sure you make it through, without feeling like.... no one loves you. Because we both know that's not true. I love you.

The cuts we pain ourselves with are but the bane of our ability to smith a stitch from within our soul, forcing us, on the edge of our cliff, to fall into the abyss.   If only I could see, that it was only a sea, I could float to the edge and flee. But I drowned myself in never ending worry and for what it was worth, I tried to end yours, sorry. It's not that you always listen, it's more that you never glisten whenever I mention that you are amazing; amazing you may be, and amazing you are, you never quite accepted yourself as that thing on par. Perfect isn't out of your reach, that, I am trying to teach; teach requires what you do best, but I'm sure you know the rest. It's not like you don't understand, you just act like you know can't stand; can't stand to be told, can't stand to scold, can't stand to see sold, what is most dear to you. You have to tell yourself, that you should be on the highest shelf, for that is the only way that you'll make yourself stay.

Hope will find you; hope is kind to you. There’s not much that can happen; not much that can’t be shapen. I’m hopeful that you can succeed; and you shouldn’t be hateful if success isn’t the thing for you. Those small beliefs are what keep people going; never slowing; always doing what they want; without cluing others into hope. I hope you can love you; and I hope you can help you. I can try and love you; but that’s worth nothing if you can’t love you. You’re amazing; you’re good at the thing; this will be everything I’m hoping. If only I was as good as you; help make a better mood with you.

beauty overflows, never slows. you follow another, and they don’t stop each other. you’re amazing, i hope we’re not a thing. i love you, and i wish you’d love you. you’re beautiful, and i’m just full; full of myself, but never on the right shelf. you’re the best, and no one can contest. beauty lies within, but within is hidden by makeup; people lie here-in, this is something i can’t make up.