Eremin week: singer x fan
Armin’s fidgety hands only stilled once Mikasa took a hold of them.
“Sorry. It’s just the cold,” he told her and chuckled stiffly. The outside queue to the concert arena was bothered by a chilly breeze, but both of them knew that wasn’t why Armin was shaking.
“Sure. And I’m the front singer of Shifter Lines.”
“If you were, I’d be pissing my pants right now.”
They looked at each other and laughed. Mikasa stroked his shoulder and gave him a quick hug.
“I’m sure he’ll be cool,” she said. “They’ll like you.”
Armin hoped she was right. He had daydreamed of this opportunity for years. It was crazy to think the day had actually arrived.
“I can’t believe I won us backstage passes. I never win anything!”
The butterfly activity in his stomach was intensifying as their turn to present tickets drew closer. In a matter of minutes, they’d get to see the band. THE band. And its lead singer.
The guard raised his eyebrows as he inspected their tickets. His eyes fixed on Armin’s deluxe edition Eren-shirt from 2013.
The backstage area was a lot more cluttered than Armin had envisioned. It looked like several productions were sharing space: racks of feathery costumes, random props and wooden set pieces were everywhere. The staff of today’s concert seemed to hang out mostly by the small kitchen area, where the feathers receded to walls covered in band posters and signed records hanging in important frames. The guest sofas were torn and leathery and placed in front of the minibar. And in them - Armin saw them the moment they were admitted from the opposite end of the hallway - the band members.
None of them looked their way as the door creaked open, yet Armin’s heart was going wild in his throat all the same, and he stopped in his tracks.
“Armin?” Mikasa put her hands on his shoulders and pushed. “Be cool,” she whispered, nudging him to follow their escort. “You’ve read their interviews. Eren’s as people shy as you.”
“I don’t know what to s-“
Both of them went rigid as the buzz cut drummer called for them from the sofa. All four of the stars were looking their way now. Armin’s eyes searched - and his legs went limp like boiled pasta as he met the eyes of the singer. The guy was hiding his expression behind long, dark hair. Though, his eyes peered clearly through the strands, and although he couldn’t see the green from where he stood, Armin knew them well from all the posters he owned: Eren’s eyes were green and gorgeous - and apparently of a Medusa-esque nature in person.
The eye contact felt ages long, and intense almost to a suffocating degree, but eventually the singer broke it to reach for a can of coke.
“Are you the VIPs?” the drummer continued. “Come sit with us!”
Mikasa managed to shove Armin forward - until he got his legs back in order and he proceeded as if on stilts, over to the second sofa. My god, they were sitting down opposite his four mortal gods!
“I won the tickets,” he said, lamely.
“Congrats!” The guitarist with the long face was talking now. He came off like a douchebag in most of the interviews, but Armin was convinced he was a good guy underneath. “You bigs fans?”
Armin felt his cheeks burning when he saw Eren looking at his shirt.
“Uh-huh. Yeah... big. Big fans.” He crosses his arms and looked at Mikasa. The heat was getting to his brain.
“He’s your biggest fan, actually.” Mikasa was taking a bullet for him now, and he was thankful. “He has all your albums and merch. He even wrote you all fan letters once. Your music got him through some bad years.”
“We’re honored,” Jean said.
“You got a favorite song?” the girl, Sasha, asked.
Armin nodded and fought for his words. “Yeah. Or. Well, it’s hard to- to choose...” Jesus, he was so nervous. He looked at Eren again, but the guy wasn’t talking, only staring silently behind his coke and curtain of hair. Armin worried he was boring him already. He bet he was. But this was his chance. “... I really like ‘unconditional’. It... it really resonated with me.” He was looking at Eren and Eren alone. He wanted his words to meet this guy, to mean something. “I know you must hear this all the time... but y-yeah. I lost my mom too, and your song helped me... a lot...” He wiped his hands on his knees and felt a lump grow in his throat. “I just wanted to say... well. Thank you. For that.”
“Man, sorry to hear it,” Connie said with an honest frown. He picked a can from the minibar and threw it. “Here.”
“Do you want us to sign something?” Jean asked awkwardly. But before he could get a reply, Eren said: “did you get an answer?”
“... I’m sorry?” Armin’s stomach was in a knot in under a millisecond. They were locking eyes again, and his mouth was dry with nerves. Don’t say the wrong thing, don’t say the wrong thing.
“... your letters. Did we write you back?”
“Oh!” Armin knew he was hot red now, the heat was unmistakable. His hands were back on his knees and he was praying his shirt wasn’t dark with pit stains. “... No... But- but I understand! You must get fan mail every day! You can’t possibly to get all of them.”
“It’s not an excuse.” Eren’s voice was dark and serious. “You pour your heart out and I don’t even answer. I’m sorry I didn’t.”
The other band members tried to lighten the serious mood, but eccentric Eren Yeager seemed inconsolably angry with himself until it was time to get ready for the stage. The conversations eventually found a natural flow, but Eren wouldn’t - or couldn’t - entertain the more casual. He seemed to be weighted by what he’d been told. And just before showtime, he pulled Armin into a dressing room for a word in private. Armin was ready to pass out, but mustered the strength to follow - with his heart in his throat and his guts it a knot.
The room smelled of indoor cigarettes and spilled booze, and for once, Eren didn’t fit in with the bad boy scenery; his hair was behind his ears and his frown read softly of sincerity and compassion.
“Armin, I feel really bad,” he told Armin, leaning with his back both hands against a makeup station.
Armin shook his head and hugged himself. “I didn’t come here to hold anything against you,” he said. “I love your music because you say what’s important through it. I got all the answer I needed in your songs...”
Eren sighed and shook his head down. He shoved a hand inside his pocket and pulled out a note Armin had seen him scribble just previously.
Eren gently took Armin’s hand and held it out with its palm upturned. He put the note there and looked intently at Armin. A phone number.
“Write me a new letter. And I promise, I’ll write you back this time.”
Eren would keep his word, turns out. More than once. The texts soon became a regular occurrence, then FaceTime was a thing. And two years later, the album ‘Ocean eyes’ dropped. The tabloids would have it that the famously sullen singer, finally looked like a man in love.
Mikasa said the same about Armin.