#eradicus

Void Fearmonger mini painting

Why don’t you like Ella. What did she do to you.

Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling/vice versa:

Eradicus. He can fight with it upwards of five. minutes. before finally getting fed up and just blasting the thing open. Ella is so very tired.

Who doodles little hearts all over the desk with their initials inside them:

Eradicus again. And then should someone discover him doing it he will promptly panic and lie very badly about it. Anything from “They’re secret, ancient symbols used in a ritual to unlock devastating power, no they aren’t hearts!!” to “I wasn’t doodling. I don’t see anything. What’s a desk?”

Who starts the tickle fights:

Ella, surprisingly. Eradicus is hopelessly ticklish right behind his wing joints, which incidentally are spots he can’t reach to save his life. If she starts in, he’s rendered almost completely helpless. It comes in very handy when she needs to negotiate something with him.

Who starts the pillow fights:

Eradicus, which is why Ella doesn’t join in on his and Bob’s pajama parties. A pillow fight is still a fight, which means E-Rad is out to win. Bob’s indestructible and can take that kind of abuse; Ella likes keeping her bones in one piece.

Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smile:

Eradicus is a lot bigger than Ella, so their sleeping arrangements basically amount to him curled around her like a really big puppy, with her using him as a pillow. He usually falls asleep pretty quick, and she’ll sort of pet his beak until she drops off too. He’ll nuzzle into her hand as he sleeps.

She guesses he’s not so bad…

Who mistakes salt for sugar:

Eradicus. Its stuff like this that makes Ella wonder if they’re actually dating or if she’s just a glorified babysitter.

Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1am in the morning:

Eradicus, but it’s not from him being inconsiderate (for once). He’s just a dumb bitch who doesn’t fully understand how to use the microwave.

Who comes up with cheesy pickup lines:

Eradicus. He’s… not as smooth as he likes to pretend he is. I can’t find the post for the life of me, but there’s a thing that sums up how this typically goes for him perfectly. In essence:

E-Rad, noticeably fidgeting: “I-if I looked up you in the dictionary, there’d be a picture of cute— I-I mean, um, if I looked up dictionary in cute, there’d— no, wait, um, if you looked up cute in the dictionary, there’d be a picture of me—” [fumbles his notecards] “I-I- um—” [visibly blushing and trying to disappear into the floor] “th-the dictionary thinks you’re cute…?”

And then when Ella finally takes pity on him and acts flattered, he immediately perks and totes himself as a master of charm whose wit is unmatched.

Who rearranges the bookshelf in alphabetical order:

Eradicus is a control freak of the highest order, and if he can’t quickly and easily locate something, he flips his nut. That said, he can also be a bit flighty, so while he’ll freak if he can’t find what he’s looking for the second he starts looking for it, he also has a bad case of “eh, I don’t need this anymore, I’ll just set it wherever, oh what I need it again, WHY ISN’T WHAT I NEED WHERE IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE?!”

So to save herself a headache, Ella rearranges everything to be in alphabetical order.

Who licks the spoon when they’re baking brownies:

Bob.

Who buys candles for dinners even though there’s no special occasion:

Eradicus. For all the nonsense he puts Ella through, he does try. He’s just frequently bad at it.

Who draws little tattoos on the other with a pen:

Chucky to both of them when they’re asleep. Dicks aplenty!

Who comes home with a new souvenir magnet every time they go on vacation:

Eradicus, because he’s fucking old and he thinks they’re cool.

(Granted, Ella’s not much better; she buys mugs. She argues that at least her vacation-collection has a useful purpose, though.)

Who convinces the other to fill out those couple surveys in the back of magazines:

Comet Lord Emissary

WIP Lady of Arcana

Miniature Display at Noble Knight

WIP GW Plague Marine