Jan 28, 2023
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when the word love appears nowhere in every part of the animal (2017) despite it being a 50k fic with a ship tag. and also when death cab for cutie said "i'm thinking of what sarah said -- that love is watching someone die. so who's gonna watch you die?"
my epota pitch
when in epota dean loves cas enough to ask him to kill him and cas loves him enough to oblige when sam doesnt love dean enough to kill him when cas doesnt love sam enough to kill him when nobody loves cas enough to kill him. sam slams dean with an axe then leaves him for dead cas slams sam with an axe and leaves him for dead the angels claw cas up and leave him for dead . hrrrghle
wrhririrjrj when. When the angels in epota. Are blind creatures scraped raw with broken limbs who can only hear. When cas. Trying to escape. Unseeing every part of him scraped and bloody. Arm beside him Broken and dangling listening listening listening
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i got a question for you that i think youre gonna like answering its about epota. is it worse than ack not in quality but in the terms of the horrors. ?
Yeah. It made me so fucking nauseous. you can feel the story closing in around everyone. There were several points where I’d read maybe ten pages and then have to stop for the day because it was so heavy . Lots of dread in that. One. I don’t remember what my reaction was the first time I read ack but the second time. Reading it felt like I was walking down a hall knowing with 100% certainty someone was going to jump out at me but not knowing when it was gonna happen. Epota is like. You are walking down the hall and you are certain that there is nothing to jump out at you but you also know you’re walking towards a meat grinder and you can dawdle and paw at the walls but the meat grinder is still there and there’s nothing really to do but walk into it. Ack is a haunted house where stuff jumps out at you epota is a saw trap
When the gay angel gets mean
when cas asks "It's Castiel. Brother, do you know me?" trying to suss out the other angels and when sam attacks dean because he's disoriented and gunshot-deafened in the dark and. brother do you know me. okay
I feel so ill. That entire 30 pages or so is just back to back to back whallops. The way that they both side eyed cas for being like this injured kid is going to slow us down and is impossible to maneuver. but when it’s dean. sam walks off and Cas is the one who sits with him through the worst of it. The entire fucking. Cas’s everpresent knee jerk reaction of I can’t fit my wings are too big. My wings will break. Versus. The angels who are well and truly broken. And are too big but keep trying to crawl in anyway. And how he’s so uncomfortable with being human but has to chant it to himself to keep from losing it.