#epoem

i've learned to love quietly, to feel and not claim, to hold something precious without calling its name

i've learned to feel deeply without crossing a line, to carry a heart that still knows what’s mine

you felt like my soulmate, or maybe a sign, a moment that taught me what love might define

sometimes, i think i came a bit late, or perhaps just in time to learn that not everything meant for the heart needs to be mine

i know what the sun does to wings like mine, so i learn to admire it from a safer sky

.... and now i carry it, quietly my own; because some feelings are meant to be felt, not shown

Is it wrong to watch people smile while I’m stuck in my own mile? I’m not jealous- no, I swear- I don’t wish them less, I don’t wish them small, I just feel like there’s more I could give, more I could call.

Miserable, yet not at all, like I’m empty behind a wall. Hopeless; I ask- am I depressed? ,or just too tired to do my best?

Lost, like sand in a burning sea, no paths, no shade, no way to be. I want more than just to survive, I want to feel, I want to be alive.

But here I am, still in between- of dreams fading and an echo of what could've been

Maybe I’m not as strong as they say,

I flinch when the world leans the wrong way.

I smile, but sometimes it’s just a mask

Is it enough to simply ask?

Maybe I’m lost more than I show,

I laugh too loud so they won’t know.

I carry dreams I’m scared to chase

What if I break, what if I waste?

I trace my steps, unsure, unsure

Was I made soft, or meant to endure?

My name means light, but I feel dim

A flicker fighting to stay in.

But still I rise, though I don’t know why

Some part of me won’t let me lie.

Maybe I’m not brave... and yet,

I haven’t given up. Not yet.

Growing up, I never really find myself attractive, nor pretty, or charming

I've always envied how other girls can be effortlessly appealing

Looking in the mirror has never been an easy task, a task that is too much to ask

where flaws linger, with a smile to mask the mistake that I see in myself, alas

Everyday is a torture, bearing with myself is nothing but torture,

Everyday wanting a distraction, there's nothing to nurture

Everyday, losing myself, I measure

how much I can despise this person like it's a nature

Looking in the mirror, I just wanna get better.

now I know why people cry at weddings,

its so hard to find love that is genuine, you cry "finally" someone who's gonna put you a ring,

you cry for a love that never falters, you sing

the melodies containing of what could have been,

turned into a love that will always be here

Who would have thought in a day so mundane,

an outbreak would barge and ruin our lives.

Tragedies happen every single day,

amidst the chaos, fighting to survive.

Quarantine has become a common word,

to a world that revolves around people.

With every household that studies and work,

all of us have started to grow feeble.

Online class, never dreamed it would happen,

three years have passed, still no signs of progress.

Students still suffer again and again,

with poor receptions, red button, they press

Stuck in a time where all we do is loop,

it's time for us to unearth a new route.

you set my heart ablaze

illuminating my world while I stand amazed

you gave me reasons to gaze in your eyes, I wasn't dismayed

'til you left me in a maze

i became astray

'guess it was all just a game

i was fazed

lost in my old ways