#ep51

Three helicopters are chasing after them high in the mountain skies.

Chris: "My father sent them to catch us!"

Sonic jumps off the bike.

"Chris, you give up?"

"..." He shakes his head. "No!"

Sonic smiles "👍 Okay, wait a second."

And hijacks the car dude, forcing him to drive them.

It's interesting how Sonic is enabling being a runaway.

And it comes back around. It always does, with this show.

The conception of family in this show, is far more open, than just blood. And Simone is a part of it now, just like Indie, Bashi, Atcham, Lou, and more, — she has been since day 1.

Once a part of the Crepin-Jurgen family, — always a part of the Crepin-Jurgen family. No takesies backsies.

He likes them with an equal amount of pain.

And, it really was an insane crossover.

This suggests to me, that even after this, he has met Atcham and Indie multiple times...

With Atcham's involvement with Julith, and her high position in Brakmar, — as well as Indie's high rank in Bonta, — it is natural for me to assume, that Kerubim going to a war against Brakmar was somehow connected to those "challenges".

Perhaps he worked together with Indie, — maybe they were allies, in the face of those two, — which is the different taste and feel he is talking about.

...It's also very interesting that the pronoun "us" might include Atcham. At least subconsciously. He didn't say "Indie and I", after all.

Joris not normal moments #9999999. He relishes in chaos, he relishes in confusion, and he wishes he had a brother who would kill and beat the shit out of him.

But seriously, — it's sad how isolated Joris is. Kerubim is all he has. Obviously he yearns for more connection, even if it were to be flawed.

And Kerubim understands what he means, what he feels. He's been there himself.

(putting on my tinfoil hat, probably for the last, or second to last time in this show's runtime) I think this says a lot about the way Kerubim views family, as someone who was orphaned. Anyone can be family. Even someone who hates you.

It's a philosophy borne of a lifetime of having messy relationships with those around him, as well as a desire to connect, — if this is his view of brotherhood, then even his bonds with Atcham and Bashi are still somewhat intact.

Most of his relationships are bad. But they are what he kept living for, — as a child, then as an adult, and now as an old man, — no matter how bad things got.

The main thing is that they stay close-by, and keep thinking of him.

Kerubim's idolization of his bonds with other people, — found family, relation by blood, romance, brothers-in-arms... — yet the unity he sees in relationships being a horrible, painful thing and a reason to live... It's both sad and beautiful.

There is a need he has to alleviate every relationship, to something far greater than the sum of its parts, — something that can't end, even if it's coloured by hatred or death, — it would be a flaw, if it weren't so lovely, if it weren't so befitting of his future, as someone immortal!

He loves other people, so, so much, and he hates having to say goodbye. He just wants to live quietly with Joris, for as long as he can, and keep remembering the past he can't return to.

But he's old, and he's about to outlive everyone. And Joris is growing, and then he'll outlive everyone too.

The anime makes Jude a little more sympathetic. He looks heartbroken when Lucy pushes past him and runs, and he leaves, seemingly realizing he’d fucked up once more. In the manga, Jude is still furious. Which makes sense-- they did just have a big angry fight, people don’t just stop being overemotional. Lucy doesn’t run in the manga-- she tells him to leave, and he does, begrudged. 

Both are good, honestly. The anime implies he’s trying his best to grow and failing, and the manga shows he’s still got a long way to go, which justifies Lucy’s desire to burn the bridge. 

The manga ends this scene here (none of that going home and getting cheered up by Natsu and Gray stuff), it skips straight into the next day after this. I like this better because Lucy didn’t run away from her father again (that was the whole cause of the Phantom problem,) she pushed him away, standing her ground despite still being afraid of her father and hating him for his neglect.

But she knows that this isn’t solving the problem either, and it leaves her miserable. She can’t enjoy her current life if this sustains, because it’ll continue to come back and haunt her.