#ep 2.04

eugh. henry. please don't turn irving into a horseman. isn't this blackmailing, henry????? you're despicable. don't fall for his tricks irving!! aughhh please please please irving don't. D: NOW YOU REALIZE THAT YOU SIGNED IN BLOOD THAT HE TOOK YOUR SOUL??? augh poor guy D:

what. sadistic larceny. oh ichabod. ICHABOD YOUR FACe. AHH ABBIE WIPING THE CREAM OFF HIS FACE. AHH HOW TERRIBLY DOMESTIC. i love it. oh god did ichabod really chug all that. wow. 

nick. hi. what you doing. who is that? what is going on. is the buyer moloch? i see hands. BUT WHOSE. human moloch? HESSIAN TATTOO?? who is it?? i think it's human moloch. oh it's henry. booo. i got excited. why is he crushing the bone flute?? DON'T TASTE THAT.  WHAT. DON'T CUT OFF THERE.

omg abbie willingly gave ichabod her keys. omg. ICHABOD DRIVING. he has come so far. *wipes away lone tear*

MAMA LANCASTER STOP. this is gonna mess your daughter up so much dude. yep i don't think the daughter will forget how her mom tried to sacrifice her to a demon ninja assassin. 

MOTHER DAUGHTER REUINIIIOOOOOOONNNNN~ oh hi there dad. ..... there's something fishy about the mom i think? :T 

hehe look at ichabbie walking into the archives all badass. PFFT ICHABOD AND THOSE NOISE CANCELING EARBUDS. AHAHAHAHA. look at him being amazed by technology. i love it. oooh there WAS something fishy about the mom!! "if you would perform the logging ceremony" omg ichabod. you're priceless. 

look at all these missing lancaster girls. oh no. o h n o . D:

hehehe abbie bribing nick with the bone flute. and there's ichabod all like "lieutenant nooo". HAHA. "when do we leave?" ICHABOD'S EXPRESSION. nick vs ichabod never fails to amuse me.

HI IRVING. BB YOU AIN'T LOOKING TOO GOOD... is this a dream sequence? o__o what is happening?? HE HAS DEMON EYES?! why didn't he get a horse like war and headless?? that's not fair. AT LEAST GIVE HIM A HORSE.

more trippy walking through the woods. ughh i want nick to BELIEVE. WHAT IS THAT IN THE GROUND! THE ENTRANCE TO HELL? or just a basement? oh abbie you fearless queen you. 

something is gonna pop out in that tunnel i feel it. BONES BE EVERYWHERE. ahhh it's the girl!! still breathing too that's good. OH SWEET LORD NICK WHAT IS THAT YOU FOUND? MEAT? OF THE HUMAN VARIETY?!?! i may have watched the walking dead s5 premiere the other day

ichabod. what. whatchu doing there, sir. wow he has beef with lancaster also? WAS THERE ANYONE YOU GOT ALONG WITH, ICHABOD? pfft worst b&e ever, ichabod.  

is that blood on that tree? YES IT IS. did the girl die? what is happening? ARE THOSE SPIKES IN THOSE WOODS? oh just jagged trunks. BONE? CANNIBALS. oh it's a flute. what. no. ichabod WHAT ARE YOU DOING? THAT THING HAS BEEN ON THE GROUND GOD KNOWS HOW LONG. good grief. think of all the germs. watch him get sic- ABBIE WHAT IS HAPPENING TO YOU?? ICHABOD NOTICE HER. GOOD LORD YOU PERSON. ABBIE NOOOO. WHERE YOU GOING?! good you stopped her. that's what happens when you play strange bone instruments left in the dirt for ages.

okay is this another freaky deeky haunted house? oh, no? CREEPY CHILD. NO. THIS IS THAT PIED PIPER SHIT ISN'T IT? little girl you gonna be dead. 

ichabod. hi. gg monologuing. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG ICHABOD IN A CAR. BEST MONOLOGUE EVER. ooh he's been practicing with jenny? LOL. the odometer doesn't lie, ichabod. pfffft. yep, ichabod should definitely be in the next fast and furious movie. 

WHAT IS THIS. A HEARTFELT ICHABBIE MOMENT RIGHT AFTER THAT DRIVING SCENE?!?!? GRACE ABIGAIL MILLS RGLAKERGA. FUCKING DAMMIT ICHABOD. ABBIEEEe. AUGH. IT HASN'T EVEN BEEN FIVE MINUTES YET. JFC. THESE TWO NEED TO STOP BEING ADORABLE.