#eo fic

She pulled out her phone and began to go through her contacts list. She pressed Elliot's contact and took a hasty breath, before dialing him. It rang a few times before he picked up.

She pulled out her phone and began to go through her contacts list. She pressed Elliot's contact and took a hasty breath, before dialing him. It rang a few times before he picked up.

"Liv, hey... What's going on?"

"I-I need you..." Her voice broke over the phone, her bottom lip quivering. "Can I come over?"

"Yeah, of course. I get a few days off from being undercover. We can catch up some." He could tell something was wrong.

"See you soon..." She ended the phone call and shook her head, trying to fight back tears.

The only thing that played through her mind was that song - the song that he used to groom, not only her but others.

I

Olivia approached the door to his place, knocking a few times. She heard the knob rustle, watching the door creak open and appeared Elliot. She skewed the left corner of her lips, walking in. There was pure silence.

"Where's Bernie?" Olivia questioned.

"Kathleen took her to see her cats. Eli's at a friend's house."

Olivia nodded and pointed at the nearby kitchen table, "May I sit?"

"You don't have to ask, Liv. Make yourself at home." His voice reassured. She nodded again, pulling the chair out to sit on. She gulped nervously and shifted her attention to his eyes. "Elliot, I really screwed up..."

Elliot knitted his brows together, tilting his head in concern. "What do you mean?" Crossing his arms to his chest.

"I slept with someone the other night." She bluntly said, looking away for a moment. "Not just someone, he was the man I was engaged to when I was seventeen."

Elliot watched her unload herself. "I'm not going to lie, it felt good. Then, I found out he was a sexual predator. He groomed so many women, some were underage, others were employees. How can I forgive myself for that?"

"Liv, you can't blame yourself. You didn't know. He practically groomed you all over again. You were his victim but you overcame him." Elliot tried to comfort her but watched her shake her head.

"I'm still his victim. He was the first to make me a victim and he sure wasn't the last one..."

Elliot tilted his head, furrowing his brows, "What do you mean? Are you talking about that one prison guard?"

She smiled amusingly, "I never told you what went down?"

"I did a lot of digging, which was wrong of me but I'm protective of you." Elliot admitted, watching Olivia grow irritated. "If it's comforting, he got killed years ago."

"I know, I caught up... Then, I guess you knew about me getting held hostage?"

He blinked a few times, "I wasn't able to catch up on you. Whenever we did come to town..."

"You came back here?"

There was pure silence for a moment. He sighed slightly as he began to nod, "We never saw anyone but my mother. Kathy wanted it like that. I asked and she blew off the idea."

"What years did you come?"

"2013, twice. 2016, twice."

Olivia looked at Elliot in disbelief, "Did you even call Cragen to ask about me?"

"No, Kathy told me updates about you. Each one was the same. Olivia is doing great this, Olivia is doing good that, so I stopped asking."

Olivia became silent and nodded, understanding where Kathy came from. She knew that she was nearly the reason why they almost got divorced, most likely.

"What didn't Kathy tell me?"

Olivia looked down, trying to just scoff away the pain but felt tears coming again. She muttered to herself. She looked back up and used the sleeve of her coat to wipe the tears.

"A lot, Elliot. A lot."

Olivia's voice broke more, sighing. "I loved and lost. First, it was you leaving. Then, it was me. Can't forget about my late brother, Simon."

"I'm sorry, Liv. I didn't know..."

"There's a lot you don't know."

"I'm here now, okay? You can yell and punch at me, you can tell me how much you hate the world, I'm here for you." Elliot stammered, placing his hands over the table to caress her forearm.

"I never had my own biological son - I found Noah on the streets. He'd been abused. His mother was a drug addict and his father was a sex trafficker. Both of them are dead..." Olivia revealed, speaking with urgency. "I went through a lot to adopt him. They tried to frame me and make me out as the bad guy. They tried to take him from me. They thought I was abusing him and it didn't help that Cassidy worsened the matter."

"Cassidy? As in Brian?"

Olivia nodded, "He's been in-and-out of the picture for years but we just weren't meant to be. I told him that, though he proclaims that he's in love with me... I know he'll find the one."

"When I came back in town, I went to lunch with Fin. He talked about there being a man in your life, who was it?" Elliot suddenly wondered, dragging his teeth against each other as he finished speaking.

"I had a few different boyfriends over the past few years. The first one was one of the ADAs, it didn't last long. The most serious one recently was with..." Olivia began but began to trail off. She smiled to herself for a moment, remembering how much she and Elliot hated his guts back then. "The last person I was involved with was Ed Tucker."

Elliot was surprised, taken aback if he were being honest. "As in Internal Affairs Ed Tucker? Are you just playing with me, Liv?"

"No, we got involved... He was a different person once you got to know him. I'd like to think that I helped bring out the goodness in him." Olivia admitted, remembering the last time she spoke with Tucker.

"What happened to it, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Mutual break-up. He went on to get married and ended up killing himself."

Elliot's eyes widened, "I'm sorry..."

"It's okay, he didn't want to worry his wife with the burden of his diagnosis. He had brain cancer. It was killing him so he wanted to go out on his own terms." Olivia didn't shed a tear, though part of her wanted to.

"Well, that's good... Not good that he's dead but you know what I mean, Liv..." Stabler rambled on, trying to word it properly.

"I get what you're trying to say, thank you..."

There was another brief period of silence but it erupted.

"Liv, what's going on? You can tell me..."

She chewed the inside of her cheek, bringing her eyes back to him. Her dark brown eyes just dared him - she was terrified to tell him. She didn't like telling people about what happened. She didn't like to consider herself a victim, more of a survivor but after everything that happened in the past few days, she couldn't stop thinking about that day.

"I just need you to promise me you won't get mad. There isn't any reason for you to get angry because the man is dead." Olivia stirred out.

He sighed but nodded cautiously, "I'll try my best, Liv..."

WIth that, she began to unload the nightmare, "In 2013, we had arrested a man by the name of William Lewis. He'd raped this one lady and we connected him to the attack, so both Fin and Rollins went to arrest him. It was a whole ordeal but we looked at his chart. He'd committed multiple rapes, some aren't even reported..."

Elliot could hear the emotional strain in her voice already building up.

"Well, he ended up being let go because somehow he was able to flee from the charges... Then, I came home and he had broken in. He held me at gunpoint and kidnapped me. He became obsessed with me after the interrogation..." She trailed off, clearing her throat. "...He burned me with lots of cigarettes and heated keys... He forced me to ingest sleeping pills and vodka... He'd force his loaded gun down my throat..."

Olivia clenches her eyes shut as her eyes begin to welt. "He tortured me so much. He never raped me but assaulted me, forcibly kissed me... It was so awful, Elliot. You know what he made me do?"

He stayed silent but his glaze at her grew stronger.

"He forced me to watch him rape women. It hurt so bad... At one point, I was tied to a bed and just looking at the door. I was expecting you to come through and to be my hero..." Her voice breaks and it kills Elliot, he looks away and holds back tears himself.

"...But he told me that no one cared. Eventually, I got loose and proceeded to bash his head. I wasn't myself at that moment but I was scared. The squad found me and Lewis survived..."

Elliot knitted his brows together, "How did he die?"

"A year later... When he faked a heart attack, he escaped and raped a teenager and kidnapped her little sister. He used them to get to me. I went to him by myself. It wasn't a good idea but I did. We end up in this abandoned building... He said that he could either rape me first, then the little girl... Or her first and then me. I told him to rape me. However, I didn't show the struggle and that didn't get him off. That proceeded to a game of Russian roulette and the last bullet was aimed at me but he framed me by using his non-dominant hand and shot himself in the head... I went through hell...." Olivia's voice drifted off and she shook her head. "I didn't wanna be considered a victim again because I thought I got over that area but after this whole ordeal with my ex-fiancee... It's bringing back bad memories."

Elliot felt his mouth part open, not expecting her to reveal all of this. He knew in a couple of days that she'd be telling him to forget about everything she said but he didn't care. He was gonna be here for her in this moment, no matter what.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't there and if I was, I would've skinned the son of a bitch alive..." He began, his voice beginning to crack. "I know sorry isn't enough and I know that me not being there must've been so hard. Believe me when I say that I'm sorry..."

She gazed at him and smiled a bit, "I know and you're forgiven, though - there's not really a reason for you to say sorry. It wasn't your responsibility but... I just really need you right now, please...."

"Whatever you need..."

She stood up and looked down at him, "Hold me..."

He looked up at her, blinking a few times, in shock by what she said. However, he stands to his feet and walks to her. She stares back into his eyes and just embraces him. She tucks her head into his shoulder and cries. Elliot freezes up but soon holds her close.