(OC: Date [13-08-2016] Day[Saturday])
A very strange start to the day. Everyone had gathered and started talking about their adventures with sex in duty. It was very odd to listen too. This carried on until we left to escort supplies from the city. On the way we were ambushed. We managed to stop the orcs ambushing us. They must have been desperate. I think I killed one by mistake when I hit them with my shield.
We reached the final village and rested with some food. The food had a substance that caused me to have unpleasant… well they were pleasant visions. I did not like this. I tire of seeing the things I want as visions and not as reality. But that is why I fight. To make the peace and legion free world a reality.
Taryane came by and gave me a potion. She asked me for my opinion of it. So I told her and gave it back again. However according to elder Ma’azembi, I was supposed to take it. Because I didn’t, I am to bring doom to my warband. Because I didn’t, I fear the unknown. Lies. I did not take it because it was not mine to drink. It was Taryanes and she only asked me for my opinion, not to drink it. I do not fear the unknown. But the troll felt it necessary to curse me anyway. He says I am cursed to not find love or happiness. And I must make sacrifice to break it. But this is a curse I have been living with since I lost everything. This curse means nothing. Taryane drank the potion and laughed. She kept going, it must have been a pleasant potion. But once she saw me, she stopped and left. I think she is beyond the point of forgiving me for my past actions. I cannot blame her. If she wishes to move on without me then that is her choice. I lost her friendship for a reason and it is her choice if she wants to give it back. But it seems not.
I left for the coast line to think, but shortly after Ata’ni found me. We spoke about the legion. But we also spoke about myself. I think she seems to think that I have no emotion. That I fight without drive. I assured her that I don’t and I use my emotion to drive me in combat. She also assures me I am not cursed. So I will take her word for it. She also seems to take a small issue with me always seeking orders. Why? It is what I joined the warband for. To fight for the horde and in these times I am needed more than ever. I train and I fight. Its all I do. Its all I can do. What else do I have apart from my duty to protect my people and the horde? I fight for the same reasons as everybody else. The only difference is I have nobody to go back to once I have finished. I traveled from place to place. I would arrive, do my duty and leave because I have nothing to go back to. The warband changed this. Now I have a place to stay and fight alongside people with my own goals. I thought this was enough but it has only changed the problem. Now I have nothing to leave for. I have no family to see when I am off duty to the warband. I have no close friends to share my time with. I have my father but he doesn’t want to get close because of what he is.
For now, I will stay the same course. I need to fight or we will all die. The legion needs to be stopped. I have no time for anything else right now. I need to focus on the invasion and stopping it. There is no time for these smaller issues I am having. And it would be selfish to even think about anything like this in these times. Azeroth and its people come first no matter what.
