#entheogenic

“Our culture, self-toxified by the poisonous by-products of technology and egocentric ideology, is the unhappy inheritor of the dominator attitude that alteration of consciousness by the use of plants of substances is somehow wrong, onanistic, and perversely antisocial.

New Ayahuasca Documentary

a two-year cycle is slowly closing out. where actually the two culminates in 29 years under the grey shadow of the Lord of Karma. his eyes were always set on me and his chains morphed into long and winding neuropaths in the brain, while every single day ended with "what ifs" and "whys". the grip never loosens; it instead devours you ravenously and soon enough your whole identity becomes a mere reflection of the fear that comes with being so close to the Father of time and control. this Guardian at the Threshold has been badly bruised and combusted by the Sun. the never-ending diametrical clash of the core principles in opposition makes it so hard to overpower the cold chills of depression. it becomes just like breathing - automatic and necessary. the ego starts to identify itself with the lows and the restrictions. scaling the face of memory to find all the proof you need to continue to feel aversion and denial towards yourself, until one day the weight pushes you to the other side of the threshold where you no longer wish to live in the shadows. now you have this inkling, this sense that there is more. now you f e e l that it might be worth the effort. the only time you get to escape the iron grasp is when you decide to take flight into the ἔνθεος — the action of becoming your own elated god-like self from within. the entheogenic bliss of finally being free. this is the only time you really feel alive and one with the joy of simply being here. because when Saturn grabs you by the throat you learn to live your life in deeply-rooted suppression and regret. every chance you get to escape the reality of the 1st towards the 12th is taken as a breath of fresh air and it can never be taken for granted. what other people tend to run away from, you tend to unconsciously strive for, a.k.a. complete dissolving of the self, a breaking down of reason. because "hell is the final solution for those who have no faith in this life" and you know the taste of it with every active receptor in your body. oversaturation to the point of flat indifference. ...then suddenly your master grants you this cardinal opportunity to free yourself a bit more - through re-thinking and re-inventing your basic anchors. the final test is the golden opportunity. this is why you had to go deep within and be willing to come out a different person. the longing for a return to the primary state of being one, despite fearing the chaotic blur of all boundaries: this is where you feel at home. meditation and prayer; a tendency to run away - straight into the open arms of Σαβάζιος. this is not hoping for immortality; this is the yearning for brand new experiences that have nothing to do with the cloud pagodas of the past. "Give us an hour for magic We of the purple glove We of the starling flight and velvet hour We of arabic pleasure's breed We of sundome and the night Give us a creed To believe A night of Lust