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Entertainment Today with a special bulletin. Over the past few days law abiding citizen’s have been returning home to find their mailboxes DESTROYED while they were being upstanding members of society working hard for our economy. However based on a social worker whom was home sick we have an insider report on the possible motive: “So...I was pl- sleeping off this cold when I heard a big noise outside my building. I was so shocked I just ran outside without thinking about how sick I was and like...nobody was there and a string of mailboxes were destroyed. If it was a bunch of villains I thought some heroes would have captured them on the news but like nobody was arrested” We here at Entertainment Today have to ask the question; what if they are being destroyed to raise taxes through the ‘Damage Control act” in which the government happily pays for small scale levels of destruction. Limiting the damage to mail boxes would indeed be trivial but be obnoxious enough to for residents to agree to a tax hike. We reached out to the Government body in charge “Damage Control” for further comment, however they so far have refused to comment. 

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“Rumi Usagiyama is the fifth oldest of a nest of seven siblings. She was born through a love that reached beyond borders between her beautiful african-american mother and japanese father. Rumi had a relatively normal childhood taking interest in both wrestling and volleyball from a young age in which she won at quite a few district tournaments in middle school.” “With her sights set on living life to its fullest and like many others inspired by the Symbol of Peace, Rumi enrolled at U.A. doing her best to pass not only the exams but other tests such as the provisional license exam. However around that time Rumi’s physical strength grew tremendously due to a late growth spurt and she became known for her brashness and a confidence to take on whatever is thrown at her without any hesitation; a real firecracker, getting into reckless behavior during training” “Enter Best Jeanist, the current number three hero. His guidance during her internships helped her to ‘thread her spirit’ along the line of recklessness and bravery to the point she was hailed as one of the best of her class. We reached out to Best Jeanist for further insight to this time period however he seems to still be unavailable for interviews; we here at Entertainment Today are still hoping for his full recovery” “After graduating with many prospects, Miruko seemingly rejected them all, determined to be a hero without restricting her personal freedom to protect everyone she came across without hesitation. Fading from the public eye by denying conventional wisdom and going independent. Working earnestly for justice all around the country and Miruko built a small grass roots following as she traveled. After All Mights retirement however, this following took to the internet to show its support of the physically strongest heroes to date propelling Miruko along with her hard work from a respectable standing to the very peak of heroism!” “Now we wonder, what lies in Rumi’s future next will she make history by being the first number one hero to NEVER have a sidekick? Maybe she will finally find someone to share her burning passion with at midnight or perhaps a special interview with yours truly on this show…I’m only joking” “Ohh that was smart Susan; but what if she dates one of the greatest heroes in the country, such as Hawks, Edgeshot or Crust? Talk about a number of possible power couples; my bets on Hawks they are both young and hate the red tape we all endure, plus you saw the photo, even if they aren’t together that was a romantic flight” Susan pouts slightly, she worked really hard on fitting her name between the woman Rumi had been sighted with recently, she had neglected the obvious story of Hawk’s literally sweeping her off her feet and having had a picture of the couple in the sky. “In that case, I would really hope that Hawk’s treats her with as an equal and protects the people dearest to Rumi with the same passion Rumi protects us all with” “I can understand how you feel Susan, she is quite the woman…I bet there would be quite a few men who might even abandon a life of crime to be in her arms or better yet between her-” “Please just end the segment Brad” she pleaded as her face sunk deeper into her hands covering her face as she was watching her chances go up in flames “Sadly viewers we have clearly gone overtime, usually Susan is quite good with these scripts but it seems she could not help herself with this special. From everyone at Entertainment Today we wish you a happy birthday Miruko and hope you have a wonderful birthday weekend!”

“Up next, we have a special on an upcoming birthday, why not talk about it tomorrow? Because airing birthday wishes twice gets twice the views” art by lamon-art 

If there’s ever a time in the future where a hero disobeys an order and it puts their colleagues and my men in danger, then they would be removed from the situation and replaced with someone more capable to keep things running smoothly.” 

Who will be next to declare affection? Who has been left lonely? Is the trend of higher amount of crushes and higher amount of air time on tv networks a myth? We here at Entertainment Today urge you to find out today!