#enjoyherself

The August heat in Encino is a living thing. It presses down on the neighborhood, a heavy, wet blanket that smothers the pavement and makes the air thick enough to drink. Long after the sun has dipped below the horizon, the brick houses of your street still radiate its warmth, holding onto the day's heat like a secret.

Your room is your only sanctuary. The windows are thrown open, trying in vain to coax a nonexistent breeze from the stagnant night. A small fan on your dresser hums a constant, monotonous drone, doing little more than pushing the hot air around. You’re on your bed, wearing a thin, pink cotton nightgown that clings to your skin, trying to read a book, but the words keep swimming into a meaningless jumble. The only sounds are the drone of the fan, the distant rhythmic chirp of crickets, and the occasional rumble of a car on a faraway street.

Then, a new sound cuts through the night. It’s small and precise, a series of chirps that are almost, but not quite, like the real thing. A perfect mimicry. Chirp-chirp-chirp. A pause. Chirp.

A smile, wide and involuntary, spreads across your face. You close your book, the forgotten story thudding softly onto your quilt. You slide off the bed, the worn floorboards warm under your bare feet, and go to the window that faces the side yard.

He’s there. A shadow in the deeper shadow of the old oak tree, a graceful silhouette against the dark leaves. You can just make out the pale oval of his face, turned up towards you.

You lift the sash of the window, the slight scrape of wood on wood loud in the quiet night. “You’re gonna get us caught doin’ that bird thing,” you whisper, leaning out, your heart giving its familiar little flutter at the sight of him.

He grins up at you, a flash of white in the darkness. “Nobody knows a sparrow’s call better than me. M’ a professional,” he whispers back, his voice a low, warm murmur that seems to wrap around you. He starts to climb, his movements fluid and silent, an effortless grace that still takes your breath away. He uses the sturdy branches like a personal staircase, avoiding the one that creaks, and in a moment, he’s swinging a leg over your windowsill and landing on your bedroom floor with the softest of thuds.

He’s wearing a worn-out t-shirt and a pair of loose-fitting jeans, and he smells of outside, of night air and the faint, clean scent of the soap from his bathroom. He straighten up, running a hand through his hair, pushing it back from his forehead.

“Told ya I could do it,” he says, his smile triumphant. He’s close enough that you can see the flecks of gold in his dark eyes, the way they crinkle at the corners when he smiles.

“I never doubted you,” you say, though you had, a little. “My dad’s a light sleeper, though. You’ve gotta be quiet.”

“M’ always quiet,” he says, but it’s a lie, and you both know it. He’s the source of most of your laughter, a loud, uninhibited sound that you have to stifle with a pillow whenever he’s over. Your room feels different with him in it. Smaller, somehow, and brighter. The hum of the fan seems less lonely.

You talk for a while, sitting cross-legged on your bed, your voices low and intimate. He tells you about the new choreography he’s been working on, his hands moving in the dim light, tracing the shapes of the dance in the air. He gets so animated, so lost in it, that you just watch him, mesmerized by the passion that ignites him from the inside out. You tell him about the fight you had with your mom over your grades, how she doesn’t understand that you just want to paint, to spend your days with a brush in your hand instead of a textbook. He listens, really listens, his head tilted, his full attention on you, making you feel like you’re the only person in the world.

After a while, a comfortable silence settles between you. The fan drones on.

“M’ bored,” he announces suddenly, flopping back onto your quilt with a dramatic sigh. “Let’s do somethin’.”

“Like what? We can’t go anywhere,” you point out, gesturing vaguely at the oppressive darkness outside your window.

His eyes scan your room, a mischievous glint in them. They land on the corner, where a stack of board games is gathering dust. His face lights up. “Twister.”

“Twister?” you laugh. “Michael, it’s one in the mornin’. We can’t play Twister in my bedroom.”

“Why not? ‘S perfect,” he insists, sitting up. “It’s quiet. It doesn’t require any electricity. And it’s a test of skill.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “And M’ very skilled.”

You can’t help but laugh again. “You’re ridiculous.”

“So you’re scared you’ll lose?” he challenges, a slow, sly smile spreading across his face.

That does it. “Oh, you are so on, Jackson.”

He slips off the bed and retrieves the battered box, the lid barely hanging on. He spreads the plastic mat on the floor, the bright colored circles—red, yellow, blue, green—looking garish and cheerful in the dim lamplight. He spins the arrow, and it lands with a soft clatter.

“Right foot, red,” he announces, a smug look on his face.

You bend and place your foot on a red circle.

“Left hand, green,” he says, spinning again.

The game begins. At first, it’s simple. You contort your bodies over the mat, your limbs crossing over each other, a delicate, giggling balance. Your pink nightgown brushes against his worn jeans. You can feel the heat radiating from his body, a warm, familiar presence that sends a pleasant shiver down your spine, despite the summer heat.

“Right hand, blue,” he says, his voice close to your ear. He’s reaching over you, his arm a long, lean line, his fingers splayed on a blue circle right next to your hand. Your faces are inches apart. You can see the fine stubble on his chin, the way a single curl has escaped to fall over his forehead. You hold your breath.

“Your turn,” he whispers, a grin playing on his lips.

The arrow spins. “Left foot… yellow.”

You have to reach. It’s a stretch, a high one, and you can feel your muscles protesting. Your nightgown rides up your thigh. You’re wobbling, your balance precarious.

“Don’t fall,” he murmurs, his breath warm against your cheek. “You fall, you lose.”

“M’ not gonna fall,” you grit out, your fingers straining against the plastic mat.

Just as your toes touch the yellow circle, a heavy footstep echoes in the hallway. A floorboard groans.

Panic, cold and sharp, shoots through you.

“‘S my dad,” you gasp, your eyes wide with terror.

Michael freezes. For a split second, he looks like a deer caught in headlights. Then, the performer’s instincts kick in. There is no hesitation. He moves with a swift, silent grace that defies logic. In one fluid motion, he untangles himself from the mat and dives for the closet. He slips inside, pulling the door almost completely shut, leaving just the faintest crack. The Twister mat lies abandoned on the floor, a chaotic splash of color.

You scramble to your feet, your heart hammering against your ribs. You smooth down your nightgown, grab your book from the bed, and dive under the covers just as your bedroom door creaks open.

A large silhouette fills the doorway. It’s your dad, in his pajamas, his hair a mess. He squints into the semi-darkness.

“You okay in’re?” he asks, his voice a low, gravelly rumble. “I thought I heard somethin’.”

“Jus’ me,” you say, trying to keep your voice steady, casual. You hold up the book, a flimsy shield. “Jus’… reading.”

He squints at the book, then at the open window. “‘S hot as Hades in’re. Why’s th’ window open?”

“I was tryin’ t’get a breeze,” you lie, your pulse racing.

He nods, seemingly satisfied. “Well, keep it down. N’ close that window before you let all the mosquitoes in. Night, kiddo.”

“Night, Daddy,” you whisper.

The door clicks shut. The footsteps retreat down the hall.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. You wait a full minute, two, listening to the silence. Then, you slide out of bed and creep over to the closet. You pull the door open. He’s folded up inside, a gangly collection of limbs in the small space. He looks up at you, his eyes wide and full of a wild, exhilarated fear. A slow grin spreads across his face.

“Close call,” he whispers.

You’re both shaking, but it’s not from fear. It’s from the sheer, unadulterated thrill of it. The danger. The secrecy. The shared conspiracy. A bubble of laughter escapes your lips, a muffled, hysterical sound. He joins in, a low, choked chuckle that you have to stifle with your hand.

“Okay,” he says, when you’ve both quieted down, his eyes dancing with mischief. “New game. Silent Twister.”

“Silent Twister?” you whisper, incredulous. “How’d you even—”

“Shhh,” he says, putting a finger to his lips. He slips out of the closet and spreads the mat again. “You spin. You point. No talkin’. First one t’make a sound loses.”

It’s the most ridiculous, most brilliant idea you’ve ever heard. You agree.

The game resumes, but this time it’s different. The silence makes everything more intense. Every rustle of fabric, every soft scrape of a hand or foot on the plastic mat sounds like a gunshot in the quiet room. The tension is no longer just about winning; it’s about the silence, about the shared risk.

You’re tangled together again, a knot of arms and legs. Your cheek is pressed against his shoulder, the worn cotton of his t-shirt soft against your skin. You can smell him more clearly now, not just the clean soap, but something else, something uniquely Michael—a warm, slightly spicy scent that makes your head spin. His breathing is slow and steady, and you find yourself matching its rhythm, inhaling when he inhales, exhaling when he exhales.

You can feel the muscles in his arm, tense and strong, as he braces himself. His fingers are just inches from your own, splayed on a green circle. You want to reach out, to lace your fingers through his, but you don’t. You stay perfectly still, savoring the moment, the proximity, the secret, electric charge that hums between you.

The game ends in a stalemate, a silent, giggling collapse onto the floor in a heap of limbs and laughter, which you muffle into each other’s shoulders.

You lay there for a long time, the Twister mat a forgotten, colorful web beneath you. The fan drones on, the crickets chirp their relentless symphony. You talk, your voices barely above a whisper, about nothing and everything. About the future, about dreams, about the terrifying, wonderful unknown that waits for you both after high school. He tells you he wants to see the world, to perform for people in every city, in every country. He tells you he wants to build a house with a giant slide inside, a zoo in the backyard. You tell him you want to have a studio in Paris, to paint the city from a garret window, to drink cheap wine and eat fresh bread every day. As you talk, you realize that these two dreams, once so separate, have started to weave together, becoming a single, shared hope.

The night begins to fade. A sliver of pale, pearlescent light appears at the edge of the sky, a subtle hint that dawn is coming. The magic hour is almost over.

“I should go,” he says, but he doesn’t move. He’s lying on his side, propped up on an elbow, looking at you. The dim light catches the side of his face, illuminating the sharp, clean line of his jaw, the soft curve of his lips.

“I know,” you whisper.

There’s a long, heavy silence. The unspoken things hang in the air between you, thick and tangible. All the stolen glances, the accidental touches, the late-night phone calls that went on until sunrise—they all lead to this moment.

He sits up, running a hand through his hair, a familiar, nervous gesture. He looks at you, and his eyes are so full of everything—affection, longing, a sweet, shyness that is so at odds with the confident performer he is on stage.

You sit up too, your pink nightgown pooled around you. You don't think. You don't second-guess. You just lean in.

You press your lips to his cheek. It’s not a passionate, dramatic kiss. It’s a soft, gentle, lingering thing. A promise. His skin is warm, a little stubbly. He smells like him. You can feel the sharp intake of his breath, the slight tremor that runs through him.

You pull back, your heart pounding a frantic, joyful rhythm against your ribs. He’s looking at you, his dark eyes wide, full of a dazed, wonderstruck surprise. A slow, shy smile spreads across his face, and it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.

He doesn’t say anything. He just gets up, his movements a little clumsy, a little dazed. He crosses the room to the window, the silent apology for leaving already in the set of his shoulders.

He turns back to you, one hand on the windowsill. “G’night,” he whispers, his voice husky, full of everything he didn't say.

“G’night,” you whisper back.

He swings a leg over the sill, and then he’s gone, a shadow melting back into the shadow of the oak tree. You watch him descend, a silent, graceful ghost, until he disappears into the pre-dawn mist. You close the window, the latch clicking softly into place, the room feeling suddenly empty, suddenly quiet. But as you get back into bed, pulling the quilt up to your chin, you can still feel the warmth of his cheek on your lips, a secret, invisible brand, a promise that the sun will, eventually, rise again.

nyle’s roster - - @angelofmikes @mjssolocup @king-mila @pheebsglow @camillemonroe @neverstreett @imeatingheehee @cottonkhandyy @loveposiie @khxna @luvs4harrington @snoopyreincarnated3 @jusforbey

The library at UCLA smells of old paper, floor wax, and the faint, anxious tang of a thousand sleep-deprived students. Michael loves it. It’s a fortress of normalcy, a place where he’s not a celebrity, just a student with a mountain of reading to do. He’s wearing a worn-in UCLA hoodie, the hood pulled up, wire-rimmed glasses perched on his nose. He looks like any other forty-something trying to blend in, if you ignore the fact that he can still feel the phantom weight of a microphone stand in his hand when he gets too stressed.

The class, “Post-Colonial Voices in African Literature,” is exactly what he wanted: challenging, obscure, and full of students who are genuinely passionate about the subject. Well, most of them. He can see a few in the back, clearly here for an easy credit, their attention drifting to their phones. But not you.

You’re sitting two rows ahead and one to the left. You’re not a kid. There’s a weariness, a seriousness to your posture that the younger students lack. Your hair is pulled back in a simple, practical knot, and you take notes with a furious intensity, you pen scratching against the pages of you notebook as if your life depends on capturing every word the professor says. He recognizes the look. It’s the same one he sees in the mirror after a sixteen-hour recording session. You’re here to work.

He gravitates towards you after class, the two of you forming an unlikely island of maturity in a sea of youthful chatter. “That was… a lot,” he says, by way of an introduction, gesturing with the heavy anthology.

You look up, and for the first time, he sees your eyes. They’re a deep, expressive brown, and they’re filled with a flicker of the same overwhelmed awe he’s feeling. “Tell me about it,” you say, a small, tired smile gracing your lips. “I thought I was prepared. I was wrong.”

That’s how it starts. You become partners by unspoken agreement. You sit together, compare notes, and save each other seats. You discover you live only a few miles from each other, a coincidence that feels like fate. Study sessions move from the sterile library to the quiet comfort of your respective living rooms. You swap not just ideas, but annotated books, your handwriting—a neat, careful script—and his—a fluid, looping scrawl—dancing in the margins of the same pages.

He learns about you. He learns you put your education on hold to work, to help your family, and that this return to school is a victory hard-won. He learns that you pour every ounce of your being into your work, that your ambition is a roaring fire inside you. He also learns about the crying.

The first time, it’s over a particularly dense passage in Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart. You’re both on the floor of your living room, surrounded by books and empty mugs. He’s trying to explain a point about oral tradition, and he sees your bottom lip start to tremble. You try to hide it, turning your head, but a fat, hot tear escapes and rolls down your cheek.

“Oh m’God, I’m s’sorry,” you whisper, swiping at it furiously. “I don’t know why M’ cryin’. ‘S just… it’s s’beautiful. And s’sad.”

He doesn’t laugh. He doesn’t tell you to pull yourself together. He just gets up, comes back with a box of tissues, and sits down a little closer. “It is,” he says softly, his voice gentle. “‘S okay. I get it.”

It becomes a pattern. He learns your emotional tells—the way you pick at the cuticle on your thumb when you’re stressed, the slight quaver in your voice when you’re passionate about an argument, the welling of tears when you feel overwhelmed by the sheer weight of a topic. He never makes you feel ashamed of it. In fact, he starts carrying a travel pack of tissues in his backpack, right next to his pens and highlighters, because he knows. He learns that your tears aren’t a sign of weakness, but a measure of how deeply you care. He starts keeping a box of your favorite chamomile tea in his kitchen cabinet. After long nights at the library, he’ll make you a cup, the warm, fragrant steam a silent comfort.

He’s the one who rubs your back in slow, soothing circles when you’re convinced you’ve failed a pop quiz. He’s the one who sits with you in comfortable silence on your porch after a particularly brutal group project meeting, not pushing you to talk, just being a solid, steady presence until you’re ready to untangle the knot of frustration in your chest.

And you, in turn, become his anchor. You never once mention his other life. You treat him like just Michael, the guy who gets tripped up by post-structuralist theory and has a terrible habit of leaving half-empty mugs of coffee everywhere. You make him feel normal. You laugh at his dorky, private jokes. You listen to him ramble about music theory, not because you understand it all, but because you love the way his eyes light up. You see the man behind the icon, and you seem to genuinely like him. He finds himself looking forward to your study sessions more than the lectures themselves. You become the best part of his day.

The semester builds towards its crescendo: a twenty-page research paper on a topic of your choice, worth forty percent of the final grade. You both choose your subjects with the intensity of generals planning a campaign. You decide to work on separate papers but be each other’s primary editor and sounding board. The next few weeks are a blur of caffeine, highlighted articles, and the soft glow of laptop screens late into the night.

You work tirelessly. He sees it in the growing dark circles under your eyes, in the frantic, driven way you annotate your sources. You’re confident, but nervous. You’ve poured your entire soul into this paper, a complex analysis of femininity and resistance in the works of Buchi Emecheta. The day the professor posts the grades online, you’re in the middle of your shift at the small bookstore where you work part-time. You sneak a look on your phone during your break, your heart pounding a frantic rhythm against your ribs.

You log into the student portal. You click on the grade for AFR LIT 450.

And you see it.

C+.

The number feels like a physical blow. It’s a punch to the gut, an ice bucket dumped over your head. The world tilts on its axis. The cheerful indie pop playing over the store speakers sounds tinny and distant. A C+. It’s not a failing grade, but for you, it might as well be. It’s a glaring, neon sign flashing “FAILURE.” It’s a ruinous blemish on the transcript you were hoping would get you into a decent graduate program. All those hours, all that passion, all that work—for what? A mediocre, forgettable C+.

You manage to finish your shift, but you’re moving on autopilot. You say your goodbyes, grab your purse, and get into your car. You’re not really thinking, just driving. The city streets are a blur of red taillights and green traffic lights. The essay, the one you printed out this morning just in case, feels like a lead weight in your bag. You can feel the professor’s comments, the red ink like blood, seeping through the canvas.

The first tear escapes as you’re turning onto your street. Then another. And another. Soon, you’re sobbing, great, heaving, gasping sobs that make it hard to see the road. You pull over, gasping for air, your forehead pressed against the steering wheel. You’re a mess. Mascara is streaking down your cheeks, your face is blotchy, your nose is running.

You don’t know how long you sit there, lost in a spiral of self-recrimination. You’re not smart enough. You’re too old. Everyone else in that class got it, but you didn’t. You’ve wasted your time, your money, everyone’s patience. You’ve failed. You’ve failed.

When you finally start driving again, you’re not heading towards your own small apartment. You’re on a familiar road, a path your car seems to know by heart. You’re driving to Michael’s.

You pull into his long, winding driveway, the engine of your old car coughing to a stop. You sit there for a moment, the engine ticking as it cools, the marked-up paper clutched to your chest like a dead bird. You look like a wreck. You shouldn’t be here. You should go home, take a hot shower, and pull yourself together.

But you can’t. You can’t face the empty silence of your apartment right now. You can’t be alone with this failure.

You get out of the car, your legs feeling like lead. You walk to the front door, your shoes crunching on the gravel. You raise your hand to knock, but you can’t. You just stand there, crying, a pathetic, crumpled mess on his doorstep.

The door opens. Michael’s standing there, wearing a simple black t-shirt and jeans, a book in his hand. He takes one look at you, and his expression shifts from surprise to deep, immediate concern. He doesn’t say a word. He just opens the door wider, a silent invitation.

He takes your backpack from your shoulder, his fingers brushing against yours. He closes the door behind you, and the quiet, familiar warmth of his house envelops you. He leads you to the living room, a spacious, comfortable room filled with books, comfortable sofas, and the soft, warm light of lamps.

“Sit,” he says, his voice gentle. “I’ll b’right back.”

You collapse onto the couch, the crumpled essay still clutched in your hand. You bury your face in your hands and let the sobs take over. You’re mortified, but you can’t stop.

He comes back a few minutes later with a steaming mug of tea—your chamomile—and a glass of water. He sets them down on the coffee table. He goes to a closet and comes back with one of his hoodies, a soft, well-worn thing that smells faintly of him—a clean, warm, comforting scent. He drapes it over your shoulders. It’s huge on you, the sleeves completely covering your hands.

Then he sits down next to you. He doesn’t say anything. He just waits.

You finally manage to choke out the words, holding out the paper. “I gotta C+.”

He takes the essay, his eyes scanning the red-inked comments. He reads it with a quiet focus, his brow furrowed. He’s not dismissing it. He’s taking it seriously.

You watch him, and the dam breaks all over again. “I ruined everythin’,” you sob, the words tumbling out in a torrent of self-loathing. “My GPA s’ ruined. I’ll never get into grad school. I spent months on that paper, Michael. Months. N’ f’what? A C+. The professor said m’argument was ‘unfocused.’ That my analysis was ‘superficial.’ ‘S because M’ not smart enough. Everyone else in that class is s’much smarter than me. They all get it, n’ I jus’… I don’t. M’ a fraud. I’m a thirty-something-year-old fraud pretendin’ to b’a student.”

You cry until you’re hollowed out, until the only sounds you can make are small, hitching hiccups. You’re exhausted, your head aching, your eyes swollen and sore. You finally quiet down, the storm of your emotions subsiding into a dull, miserable ache.

And then the embarrassment sets in. You look at him, at the damp spot on his t-shirt where you’ve been crying. You look at the crumpled tissues littering the coffee table. You look at the ridiculous, oversized hoodie you’re wearing.

“Oh, god,” you whisper, fresh tears welling in your eyes, though these are born of shame, not despair. “I’m s’sorry. I’m so, s’sorry. I’m such a mess.”

You start apologizing over and over, a broken record of self-reproach. “I’m always like this. I get s’worked up over everything. I’m t’much. I must be s’exhausting t’be around.”

You look down at your hands, twisting the hem of the hoodie. “I’m surprised you haven’t gotten tired of me by now,” you whisper, the words so quiet they’re almost lost in the vast, quiet room.

Those words stop him.

He’s been listening, patiently, quietly, letting you spiral. But this. This he can’t let stand.

He turns to you, and his movement is so deliberate that you look up, startled. He gently takes your face in his hands, his thumbs stroking your tear-streaked cheeks. His touch is warm, firm, incredibly grounding.

“Hey,” he says, his voice low and serious. “Look at me.”

You do. His dark eyes are boring into yours, full of an intensity you’ve never seen before. It’s not pity. It’s something else, something much, much deeper.

“You’re not ‘too much’,” he says, enunciating each word with quiet force. “Don’t ever say that about yourself again.”

He wipes away a stray tear with the pad of his thumb. “What you call being ‘too sensitive,’ I call carin’. You care s’much. About everythin’. About the books we read, about the characters in them, about getting things right. You care about people. You feel things s’deeply, s’completely. That’s not a weakness. That’s… that’s one of the most rare and beautiful things I have ever seen. It’s a kindness.”

He takes a breath, and his gaze softens, but the intensity remains. He looks vulnerable, as if he’s about to say something he’s been holding back for a very long time.

“I need t’ttell you somethin’,” he says, his voice dropping even lower, becoming a raw, intimate whisper. “I’m in love witchu.”

The world stops. The ticking of the grandfather clock in the hall, the hum of the refrigerator, the beating of your own heart—it all fades into a sudden, profound silence. You stare at him, your mind refusing to process the words, certain you must have misheard them.

He continues, his thumbs still caressing your cheeks, holding you captive in the moment. “I didn’t fall f’you because you’re perfect. I fell f’you because you’re unapologetically, passionately you. I fell in love with th’ way you chew on th’ end of your pen when you’re thinkin’. I fell in love with th’ way your whole face lights up when you explain a theory you’re excited about. I fell in love with th’ way y’cry at the beautiful, sad parts of books, and the way y’laugh at my stupid jokes.”

His voice cracks, just a little. “I’ve been in love with you f’months. I was already in love with you th’ first time you cried over Achebe. And I couldn’t bear t’sit here for another second and listen t’you talk about yourself like you’re anything less than th’ most incredible person I’ve ever met. The person I look forward to seeing more than anyone else in the world. One grade, one stupid C+, could never, ever change that.”

He lets out a shaky breath, the confession hanging in the air between you, fragile and breathtakingly real. He searched your face, his own expression a mixture of fear and hope, waiting.

The silence stretches, long and full. You can feel the frantic, fluttering beat of your own heart against your ribs. The C+ feels like a lifetime ago, a distant, irrelevant memory. The only thing that’s real is him, his hands on your face, the truth in his eyes.

And you realize, with a stunning, soul-deep certainty, that you feel the same.

You’ve been in love with him too. For months. You’ve just been too scared to name it, too convinced that someone like him could never see someone like you in that way. You’ve treasured the friendship so much that you buried the love, fearing its power to shatter everything.

But here it is. Not a shattering, but a revelation.

You lift a hand, placing it over his where it rests on your cheek. “Oh, Michael,” you whisper, your voice trembling with a new kind of emotion, one that has nothing to do with sadness. “I’m in love with you too.”

A slow, radiant smile spreads across his face, transforming it, washing away the last traces of seriousness and replacing them with a pure, unadulterated joy. He lets out a soft, disbelieving laugh, a puff of air that brushes against your lips.

“Yeah?” he whispers, as if he still can’t quite believe it.

“Yeah,” you whisper back, a watery, happy laugh escaping you.

And then he’s kissing you. It’s not the gentle, tentative kiss of a new couple testing the waters. It’s a kiss that’s been months in the making, a kiss of deep, abiding affection and overwhelming relief. His lips are soft and sure, and they taste of your salt-stained tears and a future you suddenly can’t wait to start. He kisses you like he’s been starving for you, and you kiss him back with everything you have, all the unspoken words, all the secret glances, all the quiet moments of comfort poured into this single, perfect embrace.

When you finally pull apart, you’re both breathless. He rests his forehead against yours, his eyes closed, a contented sigh escaping him. You’re curled up together on his couch, a tangled heap of limbs and shared secrets. Your forgotten textbook is lying open on the floor, the C+ essay, the source of all your torment, is crumpled and abandoned on the coffee table.

The tears are gone. In their place is a quiet, profound peace. This is it, you think. This is what it feels like to be home.

“You know,” he says, his voice a low, happy rumble, his eyes still closed. “F’someone who’s worried about bein’ ‘too much,’ you feel jus’ right.”

You laugh, a real, uninhibited laugh that feels like the sun coming out after a long storm. You snuggle closer, burying your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent. He wraps his arms around you, holding you tight, and you realize that this, right here, is the beginning of everything. What started as two older students, a little lost and a little out of place, trying to survive college, has quietly, beautifully, become the beginning of the rest of your lives. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

nyle’s roster - - @angelofmikes @mjssolocup @king-mila @pheebsglow @camillemonroe @neverstreett @imeatingheehee @cottonkhandyy @loveposiie @khxna @luvs4harrington @snoopyreincarnated3 @jusforbey

pervybsf𑁤michael : who saw it for the first time by accident. You were both at Hayvenhurst, lounging by the pool in the late afternoon sun. You’d just gotten a new, high-cut one-piece, and when you shifted on your lounge chair to get your book, the thin fabric pulled tight, outlining the tiny, glinting jewel at the apex of your thighs. He choked on his fruit punch, a spray of crimson landing on the pristine white concrete. He spent the next ten minutes pretending to be intensely interested in a floating leaf, all while his mind replayed the discovery in a frantic, silent loop.

pervybsf𑁤michael : who spent the next week in a state of low-grade, obsessive torment. He’d see you, and his eyes would, against his will, dart down. He’d imagine the little silver barbell, feel a phantom tingle in his own groin. He started carrying around a worn copy of The Great Gatsby, not because he had any sudden interest in Jazz Age literature, but because its slim hardcover was the perfect size and shape to strategically hold over his lap during your movie nights.

pervybsf𑁤michael : who finally broke down and asked you about it, but with all the subtlety of a brick through a window. You were in the kitchen of Hayvenhurst, you, making sandwiches, him leaning against the counter, trying to act casual. “So,” he said, his voice a pitch too high. “That thing. Down there. Did it… hurt?” You paused, knife in mid-air, a slow, wicked smile spreading across your face. You knew exactly what he was talking about. “Why, Michael?” you’d purred, dragging the word out. “Are you thinking of getting one?”

pervybsf𑁤michael : who, after your teasing, became a man on a mission. He didn’t just want to know about it anymore; he wanted to be an expert. He went to the public library, a baseball cap pulled low over his face, and checked out a stack of books on body modification and female anatomy. He’d lie in bed at night, the lamp on, poring over clinical diagrams and artistic photographs, a strange, academic hunger warring with a much more primal one. He learned about types of jewelry, healing times, and the intricate network of nerve endings that made that particular spot so significant.

pervybsf𑁤michael : who started testing boundaries in the smallest ways. A “friendly” hand on the small of your back that lingered a little too long as you walked through a crowd. An arm draped over your shoulder on the couch, his fingers idly tracing circles on your skin, edging ever closer to the hem of your shorts. He was mapping the territory, a cartographer of your body, and every shiver, every goosebump, was a confirmation that he was on the right path.

pervybsf𑁤michael : who had a wet dream about it so vivid he woke up gasping, his boxers sticky, the image of you, arching your back as he touched your cunt, burned into the back of his eyelids. He felt a confusing mix of shame and burning curiosity. You were his best friend. But you were also this, this secret, glittering thing he couldn’t stop thinking about, a puzzle he was desperate to solve with his tongue.

pervybsf𑁤michael : who bought you a present. He’d spent an hour in a sterile, high-end piercing shop in West Hollywood, his face burning the entire time. He bought a small, velvet bag containing a tiny, delicate gold hoop with a single, shimmering diamond dangling from it. He gave it to you without a word, just thrusting the small bag into your hands one afternoon. Your gasp was sharp, your eyes wide and glittering as you looked from the jewelry to his flushed face. “Michael,” you whispered, and he thought he might die right there from the way you said his name.

pervybsf𑁤michael : who finally, finally gets to touch you. It happens after a movie night, the credits rolling silently on the TV screen. You’re both lying on the floor, tangled in blankets. The air is thick with unspoken things. He leans over you, his dark eyes searching yours. “Can I…?” he whispers, not even finishing the sentence. You just nod, your bottom lip caught between your teeth. His fingers are trembling as he traces the line of your panties, then dips beneath the fabric. He finds the little gold hoop, and the gasp you let out when he gently rolls the small diamond between his thumb and forefinger is the sweetest sound he’s ever heard. He’s utterly, completely ruined for anyone else.

pervybsf𑁤michael : who learns what it can do. The first night he touches you, he treats it like a delicate instrument, and you come apart so beautifully, so quickly, that he’s hooked. He spends hours, days, weeks learning every reaction. A soft flick of his tongue against the gold hoop has you whimpering. A gentle, circular pressure with the pad of his finger has you digging your nails into his back. He becomes obsessed with making you come just like that, with watching the way your body clenches and bows for him, all from that one, tiny point of contact.

pervybsf𑁤michael : who starts talking about it during sex. At first, it’s just hoarse, desperate whispers in the dark. “You like that, baby? Like when I touch your little jewel?” But as the last of his inhibitions shatter, it becomes a constant, filthy litany. He tells you how he thinks about it all day. How he sees it shimmering under the water at the pool. How he can’t focus on a conversation without picturing it. He describes how it feels on his tongue, how it looks when you’re wet and ready for him, until the only word you can say is his name, over and over like a prayer.

pervybsf𑁤michael : who buys you lingerie, but not just any lingerie. He becomes a connoisseur of fabrics designed to showcase, not conceal. Sheer mesh panels, satin ribbons that tie at the sides, crotchless panties made of nothing but lace. He loves the slow reveal, the way the fabric barely hides the treasure he’s so obsessed with. His favorite is a simple black thong with a single, strategically placed crystal that matches the one on your hoop, a promise of what’s to come.

pervybsf𑁤michael : who has you on your hands and knees one afternoon, the afternoon sun slanting through the windows of your bedroom. He’s behind you, one hand splayed on the small of your back, the other reaching around to play with you. He watches in the full-length mirror, fascinated by the sight of his long, pale fingers disappearing into your heat, the glint of gold visible between your swollen folds. “Look at us,” he commands, his voice husky. “Look how beautiful you are.” He fucks you with his fingers, his other hand rolling the little hoop until you’re a shaking, sobbing mess, and the image of you coming from just this, reflected back at him, is branded into his memory forever.

pervybsf𑁤michael : who, in a moment of quiet intimacy after you’ve both been sated, traces the shape of it on your skin with his fingertip. He’s not trying to arouse you; he’s just… memorizing it. “I used to think I knew everything about you,” he murmurs against your temple. “But this… this is my favorite secret.” And in that moment, you know it’s more than a piercing to him. It’s a symbol. A tiny, glittering proof that the best parts of you were hidden from him, and now he’s the only one who gets to cherish them.

nyle’s roster - - @angelofmikes @mjssolocup @king-mila @pheebsglow @camillemonroe @neverstreett @imeatingheehee @cottonkhandyy @loveposiie @khxna @luvs4harrington @snoopyreincarnated3 @jusforbey

Three nights later, the heat hasn't broken. It’s a different kind of quiet tonight, a heavy, expectant stillness that hums with unspoken possibilities. You’ve been replaying that last moment over and over in your mind—the soft press of your lips against his cheek, the look of dazed wonder in his eyes. The memory is a warm, secret glow inside you.

The familiar, perfectly mimicked sparrow call comes just after midnight. Your smile is instant. You’re already at the window before he’s finished the second chirp. He climbs with his usual effortless grace, but this time, there’s a new energy to him, a barely contained excitement that radiates from him in waves.

“Get dressed,” he whispers, the moment his feet hit your floor. His eyes are bright, dancing with mischief.

“What? Michael, ‘s th’ middle of th’ night,” you say, though a thrill goes through you.

“Exactly. Th’ best things happen in th’ middle of th’ night. Come on. Put some shoes on. I have a surprise.”

You look at him, at the earnest, pleading look on his face, and you know you’re going to say yes. You change out of your nightgown and into a simple, mint green sundress, the thin cotton cool against your skin. You slip on a pair of worn-out sneakers by the door, your heart thumping with a delicious, nervous energy.

He takes your hand, and you follow him out into the night, creeping down the stairs and out the back door, which you’ve carefully oiled the hinges on for just such an occasion. The cool night air is a welcome relief after the stuffy house. And there, leaning against the fence, is his pride and joy: a gleaming, black bicycle. And attached to the front is a large, wire basket.

You stop dead, staring at it. “You’ve got t’be kidding me.”

“What? ‘S perfect,” he says, beaming, patting the basket. “Climb in.”

“Michael, M’ not gettin’ in that basket,” you say, laughing. “M’ sixteen years old, not six.”

“Why not? ‘S a great basket. Very sturdy. I used it t’carry my sheet music all th’time.” He leans in, a conspiratorial grin on his face. “Besides, if old man Jackie can fit in it, I’m sure y’can fit. You’re much smaller than he is.”

The image of you wedged into a wire grocery basket is so absurd that you can’t help but laugh. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.”

“So ‘s that a yes?” he asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

You look at his hopeful face, at the basket, at the empty, sleeping street. And with a sigh that’s more for show than anything else, you nod. “Fine. But if I get stuck, we’re never doin’ this again.”

“Deal,” he says, triumphantly.

It’s a clumsy, undignified process. He holds the bike steady while you attempt to fold yourself into the basket. Your knees are practically up to your chin, your dress pooled around you. You feel like a prize-winning vegetable on display at a county fair.

“See? Perfect fit,” he says, once you’re finally settled.

You just glare at him.

He gets on the bike, and with a mighty push, you’re off, wobbling unsteadily down the street. The wind, cool and fragrant with the scent of night-blooming jasmine, rushes past you. He pedals slowly, carefully, and you cling to the sides of the basket, a strange, giddy laughter bubbling up inside you. You feel ridiculous, and free, and utterly, completely happy.

He steers you through the sleeping neighborhood, the world a blur of dark houses and streetlights. You pass Mrs. Gable’s house, her prize-winning roses a dark, silent silhouette in the moonlight. You glide by the park, the swings empty and still.

Then he slows down, pointing with one hand towards a house on the corner. It’s a modest little house, but the yard is a riot of color. Even in the dim light, you can see the explosion of flowers—roses and daisies and lilies and a dozen other varieties you can’t name.

“Wow,” you whisper.

“I know, right?” he says, stopping the bike and propping it up against a tree. “‘S like a secret garden. C’mon.”

He helps you out of the basket, your legs stiff from being folded up. You creep across the lawn, the grass soft and cool under your sneakers. You’re like two cat burglars, on a mission to steal a single, perfect flower.

“Which one?” he whispers, his eyes scanning the garden.

“That one,” you say, pointing to a beautiful, perfectly formed yellow rose, its petals curled tight in the moonlight.

He reaches for it, his long fingers gently closing around the stem. Just as he’s about to pluck it, a sudden, sharp hiss cuts through the night.

WHOOSH.

The sprinkler system erupts. A jet of cold water catches you square in the chest, soaking the front of your nightgown. You gasp, and another jet hits Michael, drenching his hair and t-shirt. For a second, you’re both frozen, stunned. Then you look at each other—him, with water dripping from his curls, you, with your nightgown plastered to your skin—and a peal of unrestrained laughter escapes you both.

He grabs your hand, and you run, slipping and sliding on the wet grass, back to the bike. You can hear the sprinklers still hissing behind you, a triumphant, angry sound. He somehow manages to keep a hold on the yellow rose.

You scramble onto the bike, you back into the basket, and he pedals away, both of you soaked and shaking with laughter, the yellow rose held aloft like a trophy.

You end up at the park, the one with the swing set. The sprinkler incident has sobered you, replacing the giddy energy with a quieter, more intimate one. He helps you out of the basket, and you sit on one of the swings, the cold metal chain a shock against your damp skin. He sits on the swing next to you, but he doesn’t swing. He just sits, looking at you.

The park is deserted, bathed in the soft, ethereal glow of the moon. The only sounds are the distant hum of a car on the highway and the gentle creak of your swing as you sway gently back and forth. He’s still holding the yellow rose, its petals now glistening with water droplets.

He looks at you, and his expression is serious, open, vulnerable. The playful, mischievous boy is gone, replaced by someone older, someone who understands the weight of the moment.

“I was thinkin’,” he says, his voice low, a little hesitant. “About th’ other night. When you… you know.” He gestures vaguely towards his cheek, a faint blush rising on his own.

You feel a blush creeping up your neck, and you look down at your hands, clasped in your lap. “Yeah?”

“I’ve been thinkin’ about it a lot,” he continues. “And I don’t wanna jus’ be th’ boy who climbs in your window. I don’t wanna jus’ be your friend who you play Twister with.” He takes a deep breath, and when he speaks again, his voice is clear, sure. “I want t’be your boyfriend.”

Your breath catches in your throat. You look up, and he’s looking right at you, his dark eyes shining with an emotion so raw, so real, that it makes your heart ache. You see everything in them—hope, fear, and a deep, unwavering affection.

You don’t say anything. You just nod, a small, almost imperceptible movement.

A slow, radiant smile spreads across his face. He stands up, taking a step towards you. He’s so close you can see the individual water droplets clinging to his eyelashes. He reaches out, his hand gently cupping your cheek, his thumb stroking your skin with a tenderness that makes your knees feel weak.

And then he kisses you. It’s not like the kiss on the cheek. This one is different. It’s hesitant at first, a soft, questioning press of his lips against yours. But then you kiss him back, and the hesitation melts away, replaced by a sweetness, a depth, a rightness that feels like coming home. His lips are soft, a little chapped, and they taste of night air and a hint of mint from the toothpaste he used before he came over. He smells of wet grass and the clean, sharp scent of the yellow rose he’s still holding. It’s a perfect, stolen kiss in the middle of a sleeping world, a silent promise whispered under the moon.

When you finally pull apart, you’re both breathless. He rests his forehead against yours, his eyes closed.

“Really,” you whisper.

“Really,” he echoes, a small, happy laugh escaping him.

You sit like that for a long moment, forehead to forehead, the world shrinking to the space between you. But the moon is sinking lower in the sky, and you know the night is almost over.

“We should go back,” you say, your voice full of a sweet reluctance.

“Yeah,” he agrees, but he doesn’t move. He just stays there, holding you, as if he can freeze this moment in time, make it last forever. Finally, he pulls away, but he takes your hand, lacing his fingers through yours. “Okay. Let’s go.”

The ride back is quieter than the ride there. The playful energy is gone, replaced by a comfortable, easy intimacy. He pedals slowly, and you sit in the basket, your head leaning back, looking up at the stars. He holds the yellow rose in one hand, steering the bike with the other, your hand still clasped in his. You feel a sense of peace, a quiet certainty that this is exactly where you’re supposed to be.

When you reach your house, he helps you out of the basket, his hands lingering on your waist for a moment longer than necessary. He follows you quietly up the tree, his movements as silent and sure as ever. He helps you through the window, then climbs in after you.

Your room is just as you left it, a small, quiet sanctuary in the pre-dawn light. You turn to him, your damp nightgown clinging to you, your hair a mess from the wind and the sprinklers.

“Thank you,” you say, your voice a soft whisper. “F’tonight. For… everythin’.”

He smiles, that slow, shy smile that you’re quickly coming to adore. He reaches up, gently tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “Anythin’ f’you, my girl.”

My girl. The words send a fresh wave of warmth through you.

He leans in and kisses you again, a soft, sweet goodnight kiss. It’s chaste, this one, a gentle promise of more to come.

“G’night,” he whispers.

“G’night,” you whisper back.

He climbs back out the window, a shadow disappearing into the night. But this time, he doesn’t leave empty-handed. On your nightstand, next to your book, is the yellow rose, its petals still damp, a vibrant, golden reminder of a midnight bike ride, a shared laugh, and a promise sealed with a kiss. You pick it up, bringing it to your nose, and inhale the sweet, fresh scent. You climb into bed, the rose held carefully in your hand, and you know, with a certainty that settles deep in your bones, that everything is different now.

nyle’s roster - - @angelofmikes @mjssolocup @king-mila @pheebsglow @camillemonroe @neverstreett @imeatingheehee @cottonkhandyy @loveposiie @khxna @luvs4harrington @snoopyreincarnated3 @jusforbey