#engvsindia

That's how you shut the mouth of those haters..

Love you so much gillyboy..😭♥️♥️♥️♥️🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

So so sooooo proud .

Couldn't have asked for better, pillpuri scoring centuries together ..🥹♥️

At the end of the Australian summer of 2006-07 the England cricket team came crashing down faster than Andrew Flintoff’s consciousness after a pint-drinking contest. Less than 2 years after dramatically capturing the Ashes from Australia for the first time in a generation, they were humiliated in a 5-0 whitewash at the hands of the old enemy. Ponting, Gilchrist, McGrath, Warne and company spanked England harder than Max Mosley would in a hotel room.

Fast forward 4 years and things are looking decidedly rosier for the men’s team that represents the country generally considered to have invented the great game of cricket. They have consecutive Ashes series victories under their belt, home and away, and have risen to number 3 in the Test rankings.

This has not just happened on the back of some superlative play. The captain Andrew Strauss and coach Andy Flower have methodically planned for each Test series and have provided stoic leadership. These are characteristics that are normally about as likely to be associated with England as clear blue skies and objectivity in the media.

India on the other hand have played the most consistent Test cricket over the past 5 years. They have risen to number 1 in the world rankings on the back of their once in a generation line up of world-class batsmen, top-class spin bowling and serviceable seam bowling.

On top of their stellar play, India’s rise has been assisted by the fact that they control world cricket, they refuse to play by the same rules as everybody else (e.g. rejecting the Decision Review System), they have more money than Lakshmi and have built a giant laser on the moon that is calibrated to alter the path of any cricket ball destined to trouble the great Sachin Tendulkar.

This week these two teams begin a 4 Test series in England at Lord’s. The series will decide who will be the number 1 Test nation in the world. Granted England need to win the series by 2 Tests to claim the number 1 spot, but it is there for the taking if they are good enough.

Because lists are fun, here are my top 6 intriguing sub-plots that could decide the series:

  1) Sachin

This series is all about Tendulkar for India. The little master has gone through a resurgence over the last few years greater than John Travolta’s movie career did after he informed us that the French call a ‘Quarter Pounder’ a ‘Royale with Cheese’. Not that Tendulkar was at a particularly low point to resurge from.

If England can stop Sachin then they will go a long way to controlling India. Tendulkar currently sits on 99 international centuries (Test and ODI) and there would be no better place than Lord’s in the first Test to notch up century 100. However, his previous best at Lord’s is just 37.

  2) Graeme Swann vs the Indian batsmen

Swann is the best spin bowler in the world and is one of England’s key strike bowlers. The Indian batsmen are the best players of spin in the world.

Swann will need more than his ‘Sprinkler’ dance to trouble the Indian batsmen. Bizarrely, if Swann can at least perform serviceably, say 15 wickets for the series, England would probably chalk that up as a win.

  3) Zaheer Khan vs Andrew Strauss

Strauss has struggled against left-arm seam bowling as of late and is out of form. Khan will be looking to expose Strauss at the top of the order with a nagging line just outside off-stump. Though I suppose any bowler should be doing that against any batsman.

  4) Limited Decision Review System (DRS)

India have conceded some ground and parts of the DRS will be in place for the series. Hot-spot and audio-tracking will be available but not Hawk-Eye. Swann has been a big beneficiary of the DRS so this could impact England.

However, I do get the feeling there is going to be a big wicket someday soon that would have gone India’s way had the full DRS been in place. Though that may be the masochist in me talking.

  5) Duncan Fletcher

This series marks the first time Duncan Fletcher has returned to England since his departure as coach. Now at the helm for India, he left in unceremonious circumstances in 2007 and has a particular distaste for the English press.

The English press do respect Fletcher but they generally consider him to be so miserable that you need to turn him upside to get him to smile. How he handles the media and how much insight he can provide on the English side could have a big bearing on the series.

  6) England vs themselves

As always, England’s biggest obstacle will be themselves. Simply put, England have a history of imploding just when things are starting to go well. Not necessarily this group, but the trauma of yesteryear can sometimes rear its ugly head in the present.

They need to continue their mental strength in order to be competitive. India will pounce on any mental frailties quicker than Salman Butt on a multi-bet.

All in all this is shaping up to be a thoroughly entertaining series of top notch Test Match cricket from start to finish.

My tip? I’m picking England to win the series 2-1. This will mean India retain the number one spot. In response to the series loss I’m predicting the Board of Cricket Control in India will build a second giant laser.

    England vs India

1st Test at Lord’s, London. 21st-25th July 2011.

England (from): AJ Strauss (Captain), AN Cook, IJL Trott, KP Pietersen, IR Bell, EJG Morgan, MJ Prior (wk), SCJ Broad, GP Swann, CT Tremlett, JM Anderson, TT Bresnan.