#engineertilly

“You know... to tell you the truth, I haven’t actually been on a working starship before. Do you... ever get used to it? Being all the way out here?” 

He nodded, somewhat distant, somewhat distracted. He’d hardly had a moment to think that she hadn’t thanked him. It didn’t matter to him, if she did or didn’t. He didn’t do it for her to thank him. He did it so she would be safe, and she was, and that was what mattered. Because he couldn’t have her death on his shoulders, because it would be on his. More than that, he didn’t want to lose her. As much as he was unwilling to confess, she was dear to him. Important to him. Mouth opened, and then it closed. There was so much to say, but he didn’t know where to start. Didn’t even know how to start. This never had been his area of expertise, and he doubted it ever would be, but it was a necessity at the moment. There were things that needed to be said.

Sylvia stomped out of the house with a huff. Her mother drove her up the wall! She never listened, she was self absorbed, and she-

The teen turned the corner and ran straight into another person. She fell with a yelp, and before she could even get up, she was apologizing to the stranger.

His eyes moved to the planet, transfixed on what he had done. The beauty of the soft, purple glow. “We,” he said, voice soft. “We did.” He couldn’t have done it without her. Any of it. He may not say it, may not ever say it, but it was true. He couldn’t have done any of it without her. Even Straal never thought it would work, never wanted to try it, but-- He wished he could see it. Wished he could have been there to help him. He wondered if he would have liked Tilly. He wondered a lot of things. Things he couldn’t possibly answer. Things that were insignificant in front of the planet. Their planet. He let out a gentle, amused huff. “And it is...very fucking cool.” 

Extra rest did sound good, but he didn’t like taking time from the day to sleep. To do anything. He preferred to spend his time keeping himself busy. Which was, of course, the reason he hadn’t been able to sleep as well as he would have liked. His mind didn’t slow down the way he wanted it to, the way he needed it to, and so often it wouldn’t slow about how much it hated the empty bed. How it longed for the presence of a man who was dead. He hesitated a moment on her suggestion, eventually giving a small nod. He didn’t want to sleep, but he could take a break. He could rest, if not sleep. Have some coffee, which he hated, but had been drinking more of the less sleep he had. He had found that tea didn’t cut it most days, anymore.  

Pike had let Tilly into the ready room for what he thought would be a talk about him taking back the Enterprise. Instead, the younger woman was moving closer to kiss him. At first, he was too stunned to kiss her back, but slowly, he let himself give up that tight control and kissed her back. His arm pulling her close with one arm around her back. 

“I think this will be the best goodbye I’ll get from this crew,” he said as he laid his forehead on hers.

Pike looks up with a half smile. "Yes Tilly?"

Even with his rapid-fire brain, there’s plenty about the world that Jim doesn’t understand. At seventeen that’s hardly unexpected, but Jim prefers to believe there isn’t anything anyone can tell him that’ll still surprise him. Perhaps it’s the belief that he’s all-knowing and invincible that gives the universe motivation to fuck him over time and time again. In all the classic stories Jim reads it’s hubris that falls heroes, although, Jim can hardly be called a hero -- he’s more of a public menace than anything else. 

Hubris is hardly an explanation for why he wakes in someplace entirely new after hitting his head particularly hard. At first Jim thinks that maybe he got too drunk and ended up catching a shuttle all the way to San Fransisco; however, that’s soon proven false by the news headlines and the star date. A trip to San Fransisco would’ve taken him a day, maybe two. At the very least, a few hours would’ve passed since his memory blacked out. Instead, when Jim stumbles towards the city center, he realizes that -- at most -- fifteen minutes have passed since he fell and hit his head. 

The next couple of weeks are strange. Jim does research, nabbing a PADD from some unsuspecting pedestrian before making a home for himself in some internet cafe where he could get off the street for a bit. The world he entered is so similar to his own, including their very own Jim Kirk (this Jim Kirk does seem to be well on his way to becoming a hero). Somehow he jumped universes, as unbelievable as that feels, and he’s got no way of hopping back to his own timeline. During all this digging is when Jim realizes that his best bet is joining up with Starfleet. It’s not his first choice by any means, but getting home sounds a hell of a lot better than staying here. Living under his dad’s shadow was bad enough; living under his own sounded like hell on earth. He’ll need a fake identity and a change of clothes, sure, but that’s nothing that can’t be accomplished with a little bit of help. His research goals change then as he seeks out a (hopefully) kind-hearted cadet who’s bright enough to give him a hand. 

Jim’s research leads him to Cadet Sylvia Tilly, a brilliant first year student with a fast-track to a starship if she keeps up the good work. One shower and stolen cadet uniform later, and Jim’s ready to plead his case. He spots her during class turnover, minding her own business in a peaceful way that almost makes Jim regret interrupting with his bizarre request.