Diesel: *in Duck's face* You are about this close to a complete idiot!
Duck: *backs up* Not anymore.
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Diesel: *in Duck's face* You are about this close to a complete idiot!
Duck: *backs up* Not anymore.

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Young Edward: Makin' my way downtown, Walkin' fast, I'm a seagull, Go fuck yourself. Badadadadadadoo doo doo doo badadadadadadoo
Mr. Percival: Duncan, you need to be the bigger person.
Duncan: I can't. I'm short and petty.
Gordon: And that is a pointless venture.
Diesel: Your mom is pointless.
Edward: Let's leave the mothers out of this, alright? Especially considering the fact that neither of you have a mother.
Diesel: If she did exist, she'd be preposterous and pointless.
Gordon: Falsehood!
Edward: You believe me?
Henry: Edward, you're the last good engine on this planet. I'd believe cartoon birds lit your fire this morning

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Splatter: Okay.
Dodge: What are you doing?
Splatter: Talking to God.
Dodge: Is he telling you to kill everyone?
Splatter: Yeah.
Dodge: No, that's Satan. Hi, Satan!
Diesel 10: Hi, Splodge.
Mr. Percival: Nice work.
Duncan: Good. Thanks, Dad... Why is everyone staring at me?
Rusty: You just called Mr. Percival 'Dad'. You said "Thanks, Dad."
Duncan: What? No, I didn't! I said "Thanks, man"
Mr. Percival: Do you see me as a father figure, Duncan?
Duncan: No! If anything, I see you as a bother figure because you're always bothering me
Skarloey: Hey! Show your father some respect!
Duncan: I didn't call him 'Dad'!
Stuart: Oh, fiddlesticks.
Duke: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language.