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Autism & Fluctuationing Support Needs Part 2
Lil Penguin Studios/Autism Happy Place
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Some days my social battery is simply turned completely off. Nothing personal against any. Its just my way of connecting back to myself instead of connecting with the world. The opposite phenomenon also takes place. Some days I'm so full of energy that I would want to pour it out on all. It won't make any difference if you're a friend or a stranger, our paths cross, and you get that energy from me, indiscriminately, just as a sun can't hide her light or be selective about who receives it. When she rises up, she fills up the horizon and kisses everyone on earth with her warmth...
Random Xpressions
Next part of AAC adventure
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Energy privilege
Yesterday I got up with my toddler at 4-45am, spent till 8-30 with both kids, getting them fed and dressed, then got the little one to gymnastics, ran there with him for an hour, then went to get the groceries, got him home, cooked, fed him, went for a little nap time walk with him, (in the meantime my husband ferried the oldest to his 2 activities, so he spent like a total of 1h20m in the car, but had nothing to do during the activities themselves) after which I got both kids ready and we all went to the science centre festival in the city (activities equally shared there, but my husband drove 40 mins in total), then when we came back he said he is tired, was yawning and I generally pretty much took over.
Thinking of that, at first I was a bit annoyed: I had 3.5h less sleep than he did, but he is tired and I have to take over. Even with me having been away in business (so kind of having got more sleep in the past few days), it felt kinda annoying.
Then it hit me: I am not using the same standard I use for other people for my partner. I know I am very lucky to be a relatively energetic person. And I know that many of my friends don't necessarily have those kinds of energy, and usually am tailoring my expectations of them in accordance with their energy levels. But with my husband I basically sort of implicitly expect him to have the same energy level and would like him to contribute equally. But that doesn't quite work, and it is far more noticeable now that we have kids. It is not that I don't get tired, of course I do, but I should probably stop the internal monologue of annoyance when I am the one running around with them, while he prefers to spend a bit more time just chilling and just do what I am doing anyway. And be grateful that I have this level of energy.
