#endlesslyviolet

no one knows who Taint truly loves, not him, not even me :')

He did confess his love for Luna but the first time was when he was drunk and in the sober letter he said 'i love you' not 'i'm IN love with you', he was very careful about that, although he did confess his feelings for her. Because she's alive he feels really protective of her so he's trying to push her away to 'save her' because he's convinced that she'll end up dying on him like Rose did and if that happens it will literally destroy him, except he can't push her away (which you'll see soon) because he cares about her too much and he wants to hate it.... but he doesn't. At the moment he's doing that extremely irritating to her thing where he gives someone a get-out-of-jail-free card and see if they take it.

Violet started off as his weird fixation on his brothers girl but now it's got pretty much nothing to do with that since his feelings for her have developed so much. He feels less protective over her because she's already dead and she sort of already proved herself to him when she didn't turn her back on him after he killed Hayden, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't rip people apart if they hurt her. When they showered together, his feelings for her were fully enlightened and he told her he cared about her to her face. In the letter he almost told her he loves her twice but chickened out, not because it's not true, but because he knows that for one; he's hiding things from her (bloody, masochistic sex with afiercelittlegirl) and because he also has feelings for Luna and he wants a relationship built on trust but he also doesn't want to lose her by telling her the truth. He's more focused on his marriage with Violet which is interesting since he swore he'd never marry and now he's trying to be a good husband. I think he's going to be quite sad when the week is over.

Basically, the boy is extremely confused. He's in love with both of them and he doesn't want to truly start anything with either of them until he's sorted his head out and realized who he's in love with. He's trying his best to do the right thing and be a good guy. 

if me and my muse could have a conversation right now it would be something along the lines of:

me: DAMMIT TAINT PULL YOUR SHIT TOGETHER CHOOSE A GIRL

taint: b-but... no... i can't... can't we just have a threesome?

Dear Violet/Mrs Langdon

This would have been so much easier if i was drunk, if you didn't feel the same way then i could say 'i didn't even know what i was talking about! I was out of my head!' but it also would have made little sense... So i'm just going to go for it and if this backfires i will never try to be romantic ever again and we can get a divorce. 

i know it sounds cheesy but ever since i met you my existence has become... less depressing. You make me smile and laugh and it's lovely, it's lovely to think that maybe i do the same for you. You didn't leave me even when i needed you the most, when i was scared of who and what i was, you were there for me and i love you for that...  How you don't think you're beautiful is something that i will never understand because you're one of the most beautiful people i have ever met. I never thought i would, or even could, care about someone ever again but you changed that. I'm trying so hard to be a better person for you, to keep it under control, even if i'm not too good at it. 

I guess what i'm trying to say is.....

I'm just so glad i married you.

(✥);—          "I-i--...."

"S-she is something beautiful."

(✥);—          He smiles, raising a hand to her jaw to face him and pressing his lips against hers, purposely gentle, his hand straying to her hair, tucking it behind her ear.