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real-ass people in this world: It doesn't matter whether it's okay for the abuser to abuse the victim for ages and get away with it, what's past is best left in the past! The real question is, are the victims allowed to have feelings about it? And the answer is absolutely not and I will tell them off if they dare.
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To the people who keep pushing the narrative of forgiving abuse, do you not understand that in a situation of abuse, forgiveness is an encouragement to keep the abuse going?
If you want to forgive abuse, you’ll have to do so with no apology, abusers never feeling sorry for a second, never acknowledging they did anything wrong. They will not ask for forgiveness, they will expect it as a given. You have to forgive knowing this person does not feel bad, doesn’t care how their abuse affected you, and will do it again. You do not get a sorry.
And when you do forgive, it’s like a big neon sign for the abuser saying ‘You Can Get Away with It! There Are No Consequences To This Abuse!’ and not only they’ll do it again, but now forgiveness will be expected. If you do not forgive a second time, you’ll be blamed for ‘not fighting them on it earlier’, for acting like you are okay with it! That’s what the forgiveness does!
You’re promising a peace of mind and ease of burden with the effort of forgiveness, but how could anyone have a piece of mind knowing abuse they’ve forced themselves to forgive, is now looming over them, unpredictable to when it’s going to happen again? Knowing that when it does happen, there will be no consequences once again, and you’ll be expected to forgive and forget it immediately? Would you be at peace in the abuser’s mercy like that? Would you want to be told ‘it’s all going to be okay, if you forgive’?
