My recent attempts at striking up a conversation with strangers has been less on the side of finding a community and more on the side of realizing I may actually be as awkward as I've always suspected
I have never tried so hard to find a community in a new place I know isn't very permanent...and it's totally not paying off.
I think I've come to realize I really need a "home," and while I like the adventure of trying new things and living in new places, the transient nature of it all just makes it really hard for me to find community. I know a lot of people who don't seem to have trouble with this, and can make friends wherever they go, and frankly, I'm a little jealous. I've had a lot of experience moving somewhere in which I didn't know anybody (university, wyoming, cedar point, connecticut), and yet, I'm not getting any better at it, and that can be frustrating.
My only hope is that maybe, because I know in the back of my mind this is temporary, that's really holding me back, even if I don't feel like I'm expressing that outwardly. I think I need to make sure the next big move is either one in which I already have a support network (aka family aka Michigan), or where I plan on setting up a more permanent residence (aka the pacific northwest).
I've really been toying with the idea of joining Peace Corps (as part of the joint Master's program many universities now offer), and think both personally and professionally it would help me grow exponentially, but honestly, I just don't know if I could handle it. That both encourages me, and defeats me.
